[Summer1990]

My mum just died 12 days ago, she was young, it was sudden and unexpected and I found her. My father died when I was 13 but we weren't close so it was not the same but my mum was my everything. At moments it still doesn't feel real. I'm grieving for her a lot and on top of that i'm a student at university, I am planning arranging and quite possibly paying for the funeral plus I need to move all my mum's belongings out of her house and I am apart from my university accommodation now effectively homeless. I feel like God has given me strength because if you told me 2 weeks ago that this would be my life I would probably say I wouldn't be able to cope but I'm still able to walk around and try and get things done, and I still have my sanity (although I question it at moments). Me and my mum were extremely close so it hurts so so much and I miss her a lot.

I know it's likely quite rare (a lady at my university called my situation "extreme") but has anybody else lost their patents when they were young? It is difficult because my mum won't be there with me when I graduate, get married and when I have kids... the big things I do in life she won't experience with me which is very hard for me to come to terms with. Even though I feel she will be there in spirit it's not the same.

I've searched the internet looking for people who have been through something similar and I find very little, as fortunately most people don't lose their parents until they are in their 40's or 50's, so a part of me feels so alone. My friends have been great for the most part but none of them understand because they all have their patents, so they don't have this kind of pain as a point of reference. I would really love to hear from people I feel it would help me and I'm sure others desperately searching the internet for somebody else who understands.

[kaliope]

I am truly sorry for your loss. I cant say that I understand what you are experiencing losing your mother so young. I just lost mine two months ago but I am fifty. I just lost my sister on thurs. I was close to her and keep expecting her to call. I feel her loss deeply so I can only imagine what you are feeling losing your mother. My friends are helping me through so I am glad that you have friends around you to support you too. many hugs to you.

[eskielover]

I also lost my mother when I was in my early 50's.....my father about 15 years before that.

Sometimes we do what we have to do & we just put one foot in front of the other & YES, God gives us the strength to do it without totally falling apart.

I know I went through a trauma in my mother's home at the time she was dying.....it took me almost over a year before I could get back in the house & really deal with it because of all the horrible flashbacks I was having & was still struggling with the anorexia that the stress & trauma pushed me into.

Being an only child, I had no one to help me go through it because I was in the middle of a horribly bad marriage at the time...

But I know that sharing things & calling & talking with my mom was something that took a long time to get through.

I'm glad you have your university....please make sure that you hold onto that & continue no matter what.....it can be so difficult....just like dealing with the house to continue pushing on with your life.

Grief takes a long time & there are a lot of different stages that we go through.....please be very kind to yourself also & look into the different phases of grief so that you understand your emotions better.

My heart is with you & so are my prayers

[KC Steely]

So very sorry for your loss. Nothing hurts like the loss of a loved one. Within the last 12 years, I've lost my mother, father and my stepfather, so I too can empathize with your situation. I think about my parents at least once a day, still to this present time. You've come to a place where you'll find compassion and people who have similar sadness in their lives, even if it's not entirely the same as your situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you in this difficult time. May God Bless you.

[Summer1990]

Thank you all. I really appreciate your comments. I am also really sorry to hear about your losses too, I do hope just like I pray for myself that you get through this. It's true nothing hurts like the loss of a loved one, every other pain I've experienced doesn't even compare. The fact that she wasn't just a loved one but mother... I've never experienced a life where she wasn't alive. I always imagined her being there when I graduate next year, and then being there when I have children, buy a house...

I did think my situation was quite unusual which is actually a good thing because I know how I feel, so I wouldn't want lots of other people to go through the same thing.

[Sabrina]

I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom

[toscana]

I lost my dad when I was 22. The day before Thanksgiving 1982. I was bringing my first real boyfriend home to meet him (he was working out of town at the time) and when we got there I was confronted with a ton of people and the announcement that he had been killed in an accident coming home for the holiday weekend.

All I can say is that you will be in my thoughts.