[Roxygirl816]

My mom passed from cancer about 6 years ago and I am still having trouble dealing with it since I never did when it happened. My PsyD says I have Complicated Grief Syndrome. My mom's birthday is coming up on Sunday and I usually just spend the day thinking about her and crying. I seclude myself and feel miserable. My PsyD told me that she doesn't want me to do that this year. Instead she told me to do something positive to commemorate her birthday but I can't think of anything that I can do. Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can do that's positive for my mom?

Originally Posted by Roxygirl816

My mom passed from cancer about 6 years ago and I am still having trouble dealing with it since I never did when it happened. My PsyD says I have Complicated Grief Syndrome. My mom's birthday is coming up on Sunday and I usually just spend the day thinking about her and crying. I seclude myself and feel miserable. My PsyD told me that she doesn't want me to do that this year. Instead she told me to do something positive to commemorate her birthday but I can't think of anything that I can do. Does anyone have any suggestions of what I can do that's positive for my mom?

Hi Roxygirl: How about do some type of volunteer activity... possibly related to something your mom was concerned about? Or, since your mom had cancer, perhaps you could do something that would benefit, say for example, children who are battling cancer? Is there a children's hospital near you? That might be a great place to do something in memory of your mom. I'm sure there are lots of other possibilities of this sort too.

What did your mom like to do? Did she have any particular hobbies or interests? Perhaps you could do something related to one of her particular interests or hobbies... plant flowers somewhere, plant some trees, tend a garden, go to a play, attend a sports event of some sort, walk, hike, read to children somewhere, etc.

Just think about the things your mom loved & would like to be doing if she were still with you. Then come up with some way of honoring her by doing something similar that you can also enjoy & that will benefit others.

[lizardlady]

Roxy, today makes five years to the day since my mom died. I'm really struggling with it this year. I plan to pull out boxes of her photos and go through them today. Eventually I'd like to get around to scrapbooking them. Could you do something similar?

Or what about doing something you liked doing with your mother and remembering good times you had with her?

You mentioned you didn't grieve when your mother died. Could you have some sort of memorial for your mom on Sunday? Some way of letting yourself grieve and say good-bye?

I'm curious why your T said she doesn't want you to sit around crying about your mom. I'm giving myself permission to bawl my eyes out today if I need to.

[shortandcute]

Was there something special you did together? Maybe you can do that. Sometimes when I feel real sad about someone I miss, I talk to another person who knew them about the good things I remember. That always makes me feel better. Some people like to donate to charity in rememberance of their loved one (if it's feasible). Or maybe you can listen to some of her old records or something.

[shortandcute]

How are you doing today, roxygirl?

[spring2014]

I feel for you roxygirl . My mom died four years ago and my sister and I went out to eat on her birthday and visited her grave .my dad's birthday is coming up too . I do miss my parents but I always,try not to think about their passing.I think about how happy they are watching over the family from up above.try to keep your mother's memory alive in your heart by doing something that your mother loved to do.when she was alive . My mom when she was alive at church I see her spirit in the second pew by the choir loft she would sit there every Sunday just to hear the choir sing . She wanted to join team choir but she would throw in the sour note just to verify choir director's attention . My dad well he likes sitting far away from the choir loft . But I will always think about the family vacation that I went w him and my sister's family to North Carolina three years ago for vacation .

[Roxygirl816]

Originally Posted by shortandcute

How are you doing today, roxygirl?

I'm doing ok. Managed to hold it together on her birthday, better than past years. Thanks for asking.