[phoenix7]

it goes on and never stops loss and grief of one thing or another, i come back and a friend has died here.... i greive for them - i see they visited my page and i wonder .... yet i was curled up in a ball trying to get throught the days, weeks , months that i was lost.... so I wasnt here for them

i have recently lost two friends, they didnt die just left me suddenly and wihtout much notice......i grieve for them , does that sound strange

I greive for the person i was before i was attacked cos she is dead, I miss my mum, i always had a safe place wiht her....now she is gone... and so is my safe place - the one place i knew would always have an open door

my gypsey cat was wiht me 7 of the 9 years i had PTSD had , have, who knows.... she is gone ...

Isolating myself ment i lost my long term friends...
and every way you turn there is such sadness...

guilt , sadness, second guessing..... anger at the universe for taking the good and leaving the wicked....all of this bubbles up in me and threatens to push me over the edge into despair....

and it never stops....

what do we do.....

Since we're happy that you come back I hope you keep coming back. That's one thing you can do
While we can't bring back what is gone or change the past we do have the future which is always full of possibility.

[CANDC]

Dear Phoenix, I feel my own sadness welling up as I read about your grief. Sorry for your own loss.
I think we have all had tough times when we lost friends and couldn't be there for them.

You ask "what do we do?" That is best answered by finding the shelter within that is always with us. Your mother was near and dear to you, so within you is that ability to be a friend. It may seem strange but often times when I go out of my comfort zone and do things to help others, I am lifted out of the pain to some degree.

There are no easy answers to your questions, but you have answers and possibilities within you. There is a book CALLINGS that shares many times people went through difficult times and found something unexpected in life. It helped me. It is by Gregg Levoy

I notice that you call Australia home. The mystery of Australia really inspires me. Hope you can find some inspiration there. I traveled for a long time during my extended grieving from a divorce that was not my choice. Wherever I went I found me, so I ended up going home and it helped to start over. Sort of like a circle.