[Daisydot]

My mother died last week. Fairly unexpected. My emotions are all over the place. I live away from rest of family and only a few supports to lean on. I tried to go back to work but the past 2 days were tough, poor concentration, emotional, crying spells there....I am just not ready. Is that ok?

Sounds okay to me So sorry for your loss. I still miss my mother and it's been ten years.
Give yourself as much time as you need and can give.

[allme]

Sounds fine to me also! There are no rules to how we deal with grief, you must do it in your own way and in your own time...be gentle with yourself

SO sorry for your loss

[Daisydot]

I am struggling (likely being too hard on myself) because I returned to work to keep busy. However, when one small snag occurred in my day, I burst into tears. I can't be at work and have this happen. My concentration is poor, I am so distracted and so focused on holding it together to get through the day.....obviously it is not working. I don't know how to accept this process. i am aware I need to grieve....but it's overwhelming. I do have my husband and adult kids to lean on.....they are great. I just don't know how to figure out the work think.

[Sabrina]

I'm so sorry for your loss

Originally Posted by Daisydot

I am struggling (likely being too hard on myself) because I returned to work to keep busy. However, when one small snag occurred in my day, I burst into tears. I can't be at work and have this happen. My concentration is poor, I am so distracted and so focused on holding it together to get through the day.....obviously it is not working. I don't know how to accept this process. i am aware I need to grieve....but it's overwhelming. I do have my husband and adult kids to lean on.....they are great. I just don't know how to figure out the work think.

Do you think your employer would allow you some extra time off?

[gayleggg]

Hi, Daisydot. Yes, it's okay if it takes a while. My mother passed away 6 years ago, but I immediately had to become caretaker for my dad, so I didn't have time to grieve at that time. Since then it's gotten pushed under until now. I think my recent mental hospital stay was a result of stuffing my grief for so long.

My mother was also my best friend. I have missed her greatly since her death. My mother lived a long, fruitful life, but I wasn't ready to let her go.

Definitely, give yourself time to grieve. Journaling might help. Losing someone unexpectedly doesn't give you the time to say the things that weren't said. Write her a letter. These are just ideas. My counselor and I are going to discuss my grief on Wednesday.

Sorry you are having to go through this. It is not easy. Be kind to yourself.

[Flour]

It takes some time to get that concentration back, being able to focus on everyday stuff. I lost my best friend a long time ago, and I remember having the hardest time getting it together. But I did, and you will too, it just is going to take longer than you want. The loss of a parent is even more so...

[Daisydot]

Originally Posted by George H.

Do you think your employer would allow you some extra time off?

I worked 2 days last week and called off on Friday. I already had planned this week off way before....like my mom knew I would need this time off....

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by Daisydot

I worked 2 days last week and called off on Friday. I already had planned this week off way before....like my mom knew I would need this time off....

Daisy, sorry for your loss.

As long as your employer is understanding, it sounds okay to take time off. Maybe a trip to your doctor is called for to adjust medicine levels to help you get back on an even track.

Grieving takes time, but sometimes things like work help indirectly by giving us a positive place to take our minds away from the grief and pain we feel at home.

If you can find an escape route like to the bathroom if you feel a crying jag coming on, maybe after your week off you could get back to a modified schedule.