[muffinhead]

About a year ago, my father died abruptly and unexpectedly. At first, I was numb and in that disbelief period of grief, which passed. Strange thing is, I never truly felt I grieved, and never felt the full pain of it; don't get me wrong, I loved my dad and would choose to have him back given the choice. But, I really haven't missed him that much. Instead of grieving, I found myself going through an existential crisis and a relapse of my childhood depression, which still continues to this day, with the addition of hypomania (got diagnosed with bipolar disorder recently). I'd like to know if this type of grief is typical for a person with a mental illness.

[CANDC]

Muffinhead, sorry for your loss.
Shock is a common reaction to loss of a loved one, especially if it is unexpected.
Sometimes the loss is so deep emotionally that on the surface we put on a good face, but our deep hurt can bubble up as other expressions of the hurt and loss.
My dad has been sick for a long time so I feel I have been grieving forever and still he struggles on.
Feel free to leave a comment or pm me or check out one of the other forums.