[Torva20]

I'm 19 and met a guy on the 14th of March at a night club and I took him home with me. This was the first time I'd ever gone home with a guy. There was just something about him. We didn't end up having sex but we slept in my bed and kissed and stuff. He also spent the next day with me. Even at the time; it was such a strange experience. I seldom invite people so openly into my life. We tried to see each other again that week but it was difficult because we were both very busy with work/study. On the 21st he said he was going out with friends and asked if he could come over to mine after town. I said yes, I understood that this probably meant from 4am onward. He never showed up and the next afternoon I found out that he'd died. He'd attempted a stunt, jumping off a crane into the harbour but he landed on his back. I have been devastated. I did talk to a couple of his friends and one of them said he did mention meeting me and that he said he had a feeling it was going to be something really special. I've become so sentimental about it. I feel like It's affected me too much. It's been two weeks now and I think about death all the time. I'm still sad for the loss of his life and I'm still frustrated, but I feel okay in general, I'm resuming my life. I'm not depressed about it. But I feel like my life has changed forever, and that frightens me. I don't know when I'll be able to stop thinking about him. Is this normal? Am I even entitled to grieve over him this way? I only knew him for just over a week

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It must be really hard to accept. Under the circumstances I think it is normal for you to grieve, after all the two of you made a connection with each other. It has been a shock. Give yourself time and don't question your feelings just roll with them.

[bounceback]

I understand this. You might be grieving for what could have been plus he was someone you felt a connection with. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

[inanimateobjects]

i know exactly how you are feeling, i have a similar story. this guy was a coworker and he had just started a new job. i had only really talked to him in passing as we didnt work the same shift. the weekend after his last day we ended up hanging out, i spent the night with him. i saw him a few times before i went in to work at night and i would go back to his place before he left in the morning (i used to work the overnight shift) we had maybe one other date, if you would call it that. things were still to fresh to label anything. friday night he calls me to meet him for dinner and a movie after he got off work. his new job is in another city from where he lived. when we left the movie we decided we would make the hour trip back to his place in our separate cars. about 45 min after we went our separate ways he wrecked his car and when he got out to see the damage he was struck by another car. i passed by it and thought nothing of it. i sat outside his apartment for over an hour before i went to the hospital to find out what had happened. his family had no idea why i was there (one of his sisters was also a coworker and i had briefly met his other sister) i still feel so guilty. a week after whatever we were started he was gone. he was only 23

you have every right to feel whatever you are feeling. it's shocking. it's sudden. it feels like someone has just been ripped from you, what could have been is gone. there isn't a day that has gone by that i havent thought of him and i fear the day when he slips from my mind. i dont feel like im entitled to feel this way either, but i do. obviously he was special even in some small way and made an impact for you to let him into your world. i think you're completely normal, you deserve to grieve and deal with his loss in any safe way you know how