[connect.the.stars]

I've heard that one of ways to cope with grief or loss of a loved one is to write letters to them. I presume it's supposed to act as a platform to say things that we've wanted to say to them.

I recently went back to read a couple of my old journal entries and stumbled across some letters I had written to a good friend of mine who was leaving and cutting off all contact. I didn't realize this at the time, but writing letters to her was my way of coping with the fact that I knew she was gone from my life.

I'm curious to hear if anyone else finds writing letters to be helpful?

[connect.the.stars]

Dearest L,

I am happy for you. I'm glad you found what you were looking for. Even if it wasn't easy, even if you feel lost, I can assure you that you've made so much progress and I'm so happy I've gotten the opportunity to see you grow. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I know this is not goodbye and that we will still be able to see each other one day in the future. I don't ask anything of you. I wish for nothing but your happiness. I wish for you to be free. I wish for your good health and that your move to NZ will be swift and smooth. I wish for your safety. And I wish for whatever you put your mind to, to bear fruit. I cannot wait until the day we can meet. I can barely even contain myself right now. But for you, I would be willing to wait because I know how much it hurts. And how it will probably take a very long time. Maybe indefinitely long. But I am willing to wait until you are ready and better and well-rested. I don't want you to feel any pressures. Just relax. And listen to your surroundings. Listen to your heart. Don't be afraid of memories. Both the good and bad. Maybe occasionally think of me. But I will be okay. You've made me so strong. You've really gotten to the deepest core of my inner self. And I could not be more grateful for your patience working with me. I know I'm not the easiest to deal with, but I've seen you stand by me at my worst and at my best. You are the best companion anyone has ever been for me. And that is not an understatement. I will always keep you in my heart. And it is my hope to write you a letter for every day that you are away. Tell you what has been going on. Tell you about my days. About my little happiness and triumphs. My sadness. It would be like you've never really gone away. Because this is what we've always done every day. Every morning I wake up looking forward to talking to you. So instead of being on my iPod messaging you, I can write something to you, no matter how short or long. I won't pressure myself if I have not much time to write or if I forget in a busy day. But my heart wants to be able to stay in touch and keep you updated with how I am. And I know it might sound weird reading everything at once, but I'll probably ask you how you've been, but with no response. I'm going to continue writing my book. I got a really good idea of an outline structure for it now. I can't wait to get started on it and to show you my work. It is you that motivated me to write. And even if I don't complete the book, hopefully you can get the chance to read my unfinished progress. And you'll have these letters as well. I got this idea from you actually. You told me how S wrote you these emails that would send on delay to you for your birthday. I don't know if I will keep this up. But I will certainly try. And I hope that when you do get to read these, that you will be in a better place and that you will be happy and that we can continue to share happy memories and spend precious time together. But even if you are still stuck in a rut, I'll be here for you. I love you L, my sister.

<3 (Y)

Gosh, I have no idea where those letters are now, but I would definitely write to my mom and my grandmother after they had passed. I would just get it all out. The pain and the sadness. I would also get out the good memories and the happy times. I found it to be quite cathartic. In a way, I'm glad that I don't have them anymore. That way I could get it all out and then let it all go.

Originally Posted by connect.the.stars

Dearest L,

I am happy for you. I'm glad you found what you were looking for. Even if it wasn't easy, even if you feel lost, I can assure you that you've made so much progress and I'm so happy I've gotten the opportunity to see you grow. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I know this is not goodbye and that we will still be able to see each other one day in the future. I don't ask anything of you. I wish for nothing but your happiness. I wish for you to be free. I wish for your good health and that your move to NZ will be swift and smooth. I wish for your safety. And I wish for whatever you put your mind to, to bear fruit. I cannot wait until the day we can meet. I can barely even contain myself right now. But for you, I would be willing to wait because I know how much it hurts. And how it will probably take a very long time. Maybe indefinitely long. But I am willing to wait until you are ready and better and well-rested. I don't want you to feel any pressures. Just relax. And listen to your surroundings. Listen to your heart. Don't be afraid of memories. Both the good and bad. Maybe occasionally think of me. But I will be okay. You've made me so strong. You've really gotten to the deepest core of my inner self. And I could not be more grateful for your patience working with me. I know I'm not the easiest to deal with, but I've seen you stand by me at my worst and at my best. You are the best companion anyone has ever been for me. And that is not an understatement. I will always keep you in my heart. And it is my hope to write you a letter for every day that you are away. Tell you what has been going on. Tell you about my days. About my little happiness and triumphs. My sadness. It would be like you've never really gone away. Because this is what we've always done every day. Every morning I wake up looking forward to talking to you. So instead of being on my iPod messaging you, I can write something to you, no matter how short or long. I won't pressure myself if I have not much time to write or if I forget in a busy day. But my heart wants to be able to stay in touch and keep you updated with how I am. And I know it might sound weird reading everything at once, but I'll probably ask you how you've been, but with no response. I'm going to continue writing my book. I got a really good idea of an outline structure for it now. I can't wait to get started on it and to show you my work. It is you that motivated me to write. And even if I don't complete the book, hopefully you can get the chance to read my unfinished progress. And you'll have these letters as well. I got this idea from you actually. You told me how S wrote you these emails that would send on delay to you for your birthday. I don't know if I will keep this up. But I will certainly try. And I hope that when you do get to read these, that you will be in a better place and that you will be happy and that we can continue to share happy memories and spend precious time together. But even if you are still stuck in a rut, I'll be here for you. I love you L, my sister.

<3 (Y)

Such a sweet letter

[Wabbit1911]

I start to keep a journal after my Dad died. I was so full of these negative thoughts and pained things I needed to say but felt I had no one to say it too. A friend who had also lost a loved one to suicide recommended the idea to me, since it had helped her. At first all my entries where written when I was extremely sad and usually while I was crying. I have gotten to where I document all sorts of things now. I'm still trying to get used to keeping a journal and don't always write in it when I should. I carry it with me so if I need to, I can get my thoughts out, no matter where I am. I do find that writing it down does seem to help. I usually feel better just to get it out of my head.

[bounceback]

I took a grief class after my mom died last year and one of the things we had to do was write a letter to our loved one and share it in group. To me I found it to be cathartic. There were things I never got to say to her when she was alive, things I hadn't forgiven her for etc. It was a painful experience but very worth it. We had to do it in a specific way. It was supposed to include I am sorry for: I forgive you for: and then emotional statements like I love you, I miss you and at the end we had to say goodbye. I am glad I did it. I also did the same for my dad with my therapist when he died. That letter was just any sort of letter, didn't have to be done in any specific way.

[Mike1947]

I am new here, However after the sudden death of my girlfriend I wrote emails to myself describing my feelings. It did help.