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#1
May 24, 2004, 08:43 AM
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A younger cousin (15) died of alcohol poisoning almost 2 weeks ago. Then another younger cousin (16) went missing for 3 days starting the evening of his cousin's funeral...he was found out by the river, shot 10 times. Then Saturday, my husband and I's best friend...
It started with him and his girlfriend and her kids being gone on Thursday evening, someone broke into the house and set it on fire. They got back that night soon enough and put the fire out so it didn't burn the house down...but then early Saturday morning the same person (most likely) set it on fire Again...and all 4 of them were in there. He and one of the kids (girlfriend's daughter) got burned, but they are going to be ok (still in the hospital)...his girlfriend got burned really bad..they still might life flight her to a burn center. And her son died in the fire. I have other earlier (last year) ones that still affect me...but these are the most recent. I feel hurt, angry, despair, guilt...and that is only what I can categorize. The weird part, I guess is the absence of 'grief' and 'loss' in my post as well as within myself o_O I feel the hurt, anger, despair and guilt deep down...but my initial reaction is a mostly non-interested "Huh"...like 'you don't say' or something similar. *sighs* Anyone else have a similar reaction? (even remotely? :/) or am I really whack? |
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#2
May 24, 2004, 10:53 AM
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You are most definitely not "whack". Everyone grieves in different ways, and the process really is the mind's self-protection mechanism going through the process of feeling the loss and eventually accepting it so that one can go on with life. With these horrible tragedies all in quick succession I don't think it is unusual at all for you to be sort of numb. You are probably in the place you need to be to keep from being overwhelmed. It does sound like you are grieving with the "expected" feelings and maybe those feelings are just naturally being held in check.
The one thing that is for sure is that everyone grieves differently and you can never try to put "rules" or expectations on grieving for yourself or for someone else. The "stages of grief" I've posted elsewhere are guidelines to help understand the different emotions that one may go through during the grieving process, they are meant to help understand but not as a "roadmap" as to how to grieve "properly". It is not a bad idea to get some support for this, we can provide support and understanding if you want to keep posting here. If you have access to a support group or therapy that may be able to help guide you through these emotions as well. But there is absolutely nothing "wrong" with what you are experiencing now, nor is it unique. My heart goes out for you and for your family and your friends family after these horrible circumstances. It is good that you have each other for support through this and we are here to help too. ------------------------------------ --http://www.idexter.com
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------------------------------------ --  -- The world is what we make of it -- -- Dave -- www.idexter.com |
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