[Katicka]

Well this is some hard stuff to take right now. My boyfriend suffers with bp and schizophrenia and was having problems that put him in a group home tonight. They had him in respite so many times that now he has to stay in a facility for a whole 2 years. I won't get to see him much at all anymore. Only in passing at times. Because I used to be a patient at the place he's staying at and I can't go see him since its against the rules. We will only be having phone and mail contact now.

This is so hard on me since we are so close to each other. We are soulmates and have been together for 7 years. I love him with a passion and I dont know what Im going to do without him around anymore.

There is no way in my heart that Im going to break up with him over this. I will still love him and I won't date another human being as long as I shall live.

It seems like whoever I get close to in my life dies or has some other circumstance happen where I can't see them anymore. Its not fair at all. Im not getting super close to another person as long as I live even if its a really close friendship. Im safeguarding myself from that. Because you just can never depend on this stuff. If anyone asks me to hang out I will tell them "No." from now on.

I feel much safer anyway alone where I can have all the control and there's no other person there. So that my feelings don't get crushed like they have been most of my life.

I will be the lone traveler for the rest of my life......

Katicka, that is quite a blow for you and your boyfriend. but, if this will help him, it will help you too. i knwo how hard it is going to be to wait two years, with limited contact. try to pick up some hobbies that you can occupy yourself with.

can you send him packages? that was always so exciting for the patients when i worked in a psych hospital. breaks up the monotony really well.......and shows love..........xoxoxo pat

[ocdchick]

Hi again Katicka,

I can relate-7/1 will be the one-year anniversary of my ex's passing-he was 49 and died unexpectedly of a "catastrophic heart attack"-he was on his way to work that Saturday AM & fell to the ground. CPR didn't revive him.

I know it's about 3 weeks away and I'll be otherwise occupied that day so I won't think about it but the next week my friend and I are going to do something in his memory.

What I feel cheated about was that he wanted to try dating again. We'd dated for 6 months, broken up but remained good friends and done things occasionally.

I've come to the same conclusion as you-I don't want to date again-God's my Beloved and I do fine with my friends.

Unless someone VERY WONDERFUL comes along, I'll live my life alone.

ocdchick

[Direction]

You have such love for him...love that is undeniable...

When you have such love, please don't try to shut down...

Sorry you will have limited contact...

Mainly I just wanted to let you know that there are a lot of people here to reach out to...which can help you IRL...