Cutting the apron strings

Hey,

I'm already well into adulthood but am still working on cutting the apron strings with my mother. I just wrote this 'letter' (not going to give it to her, it's just for me) and felt I need to share it..

To my mother -

Why couldn't you just love me??? What is it that I did that was SO wrong.. No, I didn't do anything wrong, you just didn't want to love me. Or you couldn't give me the support I needed.. And I was tied to you because if you left, dad wouldn't have taken care of me. THAT was tough.. Being afraid like that. Now I understand why it's been so hard for me to let go of you..

But now I can do this myself!!! There are plenty of people with similar interests to mine who'll support me and want me to do well. I'll talk to them no matter how much you ******..

I'm sorry, mum, but I have to abandon you. I must let you go for my sanity! Bye, I hope you'll be well - well, better than you have been..

Love,

Your daughter

Hey. Sorry you went through so much pain as a child. I can understand how you feel.

The challenging part of cutting the apron strings is that it is no longer an outer parent that rules us, but an inner one that we built from all the experiences we went through. So even if you write this letter, there is still the inner parent that rules us.

But there is hope, it is finding compassion for ourselves and what we went through and for those who have put apparent road blocks in front of us.

Unfortunately we may have relapses, so breaking links with parents who might help us by providing a place to stay when we are recovering can be hurting ourselves. If you have not done so, not sending this letter to your mom might give you more options in the future we do not yet know.

The best word in the whole letter is Love. That is the start of healing in my experience.

The Skeezyks left them all behind... many years ago...