[Juliaspavlov]

Yes I feel it more now than when it happened
1.2.2010.
My hubby keeps wanting to throw his things away.
I don't want to keep them forever like a shrine or anything
but I do want them to go when I am ready and in a
respectful way.
We picked up his car and he had a brand new pair of shoes
on the back seat bought 10.30am that day he died.
It is still a mystery...the best I can say is it was an accident.
I guess when it happened I felt I had to be strong
for myself and everyone around me.
(((((Hugs))))) for everyone there going thru similar...
I miss you Bib

[bebop]

it is normal for it to hurt more now hon. it will ease up in time. at first you are in shock, feel numb, etc. give yourself time to grieve however you need to. let your husband know that you are just not ready to get rid of his things just yet. close his bedroom door if it is bothering your husband so much. or maybe compromise and keep some things and get rid of some. start small.

[Sabrina]

((((juliaspavlov))))

[Juliaspavlov]

Thank you Bebop/ the bedroom door is shut. He is
concentrating on my son's car now. Working on it
cleaning it and so forth maybe to sell it.But I am
OK about him doing that.He and my son always shared
car things together.

[Juliaspavlov]

Thanks for your thoughts Sabrina.
I was crying today.Because it was his birthday 16.3./

((((hugs back))))

[purple_fins]

Im so sorry for your loss.

I can understand how hard it is when someone is here one day and then not the next.... that's how both my dad and my oldest sister past away. It's such a shock......
not sure what to say.....
I don't usually say the right things, I so don't want to cause you further upset--
but--
I do wish to let you know I have felt similar and understand it is so so very difficult,
and to tell you-- you and your family are in my thoughts

juliaspavlov

fins

[Rhapsody]

From a mother that has lost a child... give your self plenty of time and do what you must in order to get by until the day comes that you can smile and laugh again with the people that are still here with you.

[anjelmarie]

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what your going through, I lost my mom but I know its not the same. I do know that you go through a period where you are functioning and its almost like a dream. You do what you have to and then later on when its quiet and people are not checking on you as much and your alone with your thoughts, you feel it stronger. Death is the worse thing that I feel a person can go through. You can't even make sense of it. I know I can't. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself and know that men grieve differently. Posting on here is a good thing also. Also talking to a therapist may help. I read a lot of grief books that helped me understand the grief process. There are some sites that you can build a memorial for free. Search for free online memorials. I did one for my mom on her 1st year anniversary. Anyway I pray that it gets easier for you and that the pain will subside.

Anjelmarie

[Juliaspavlov]

Thankyou Purple Fins
and thank you Rhapsody.I am grateful to hear from you.
Thankyou anjelmarie.Yes prayers are good.Thanks.

My recent thing is the silly things Ive been doing.
I tried to put a teabag in the toaster
I was about to put the kettle in the fridge
and I locked myself out of my car (but someone helped me)
I am trying to be more social instead of closing up in a shell.
I went out last night and I coped at a supper with a
small crowd. This would normally be a big panic for me.

Thanks again for all the kind thoughts.
Please accept my thoughts back...Jjulia

[amante]

Sending you immense hugs are you grieve. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Juliaspavlov]

Thanks Amante thats very sweet of you.
I appreciate it.

Last night again I had the asthma thing happening
it happens at 2am when my son Krn would go to
the bakery. I even miss the bread he made.It was yummy.

[amante]

Perhaps you can carry on the bread thing and it can be a way to hold him close at that 2 a.m. asthma thing.

[tish2010]

I'm so sorry for your loss.....I understand how you must be feeling....
what is it with men?....my ex wants my sons room cleaned out and it's only 3 months since we lost him.......I don't understand the urgency .....
they just don't understand what it's like to be a mother ......
(((HUGS)))

[Juliaspavlov]

Thanks again Amanda, if only I could make bread as
well as he did.His fellow work mate said he was close in skill
at baking as one of the best at Bakers Delight.

Thanks Tish it should be compulsory for men to go
thru pregnancy and be Mr.Mum's for a part of the
time....

I appreciate all hugs and kind thoughts
and I return them...(((((hugs)))))..Jjulia

[AngelSpiritGirl]

Hi. I'm new here, so not really sure about this. My mother passed away this past November 2009, from a long battle with a very rare form of cancer. I have a lot of her stuff, so I can relate to what you were saying. I don't ever want to get rid of anything.

AngelSpiritGirl