[Hzrt]

My grandfather passed away all of a sudden. He died of natural causes / old age after few days of weakness.
I was going through existential anxiety for three months prior to this. Just when I got some hope of things improving, this happened. This is my first experience with death of someone whom I had memories of and of irreparable loss.
I feel so numb. Not the cold sort of numb, but literally feeling nothing sort of numb. It is not because of shock, I don't know why I had a premonition about this the night before, and in the morning my family discovered that he was not waking up and it was all over. In less than 6 hours he was cremated. So sudden and unexpected.
There are still relatives visiting over and a few more rituals remaining. I feel lost, what emptiness I have to deal with after every relative is gone after visiting in a few days. I am not feeling visible sorrow, but I loved him dearly. It's like I am suppressing my feelings because I also have to give strength to other people in the house. Occasionally I cry for a few seconds and then stop when someone comforts me or while sleeping.
I don't feel regrets, what's gone is gone, but I have no idea how to grieve. This is such an unfamiliar experience.

[CANDC]

Hi Hzrt. Welcome to Psych Central. I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. It must be so difficult to experience the death of someone so close for the first time.

Grief in my experience is not something that happens and is over. It can take a long time for the feelings to bubble up when I am ready to allow that to happen. It is normal that your grieving is unique and you will find feelings coming up when you are ready to allow them to happen. Bottling up the feelings is a natural defense mechanism until we feel we are in a safe place to grieve.

Talking out the feelings with friends, relatives and support groups has helped me. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We are all different.

There are many articles in Psych Central archives that talk about how to cope with grief. Scroll down and there are many links here. https://psychcentral.com/grief/

This one helps me understand the stages I am going through at various times of the day.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-s...oss-and-grief/

This one talks how grief can affect us physically also.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/your-health-and-grief/

Hope you get the support you are looking for at Psych Central and consider professional counseling or therapy if needed.

Sad hugs to you in your hour of grieving.

[DmitriyBronfman]

Hello Hzrt. I am sorry for your loss/
It seems to me to survive this loss faster than you need to do something that will distract you from thinking about your grandfather

[Gus1234U]

{{{{{ HTRZ }}}}} what CANDC said~

Rip… and may you begin to recover from this tragedy…

[leemel2010]

Very sorry for your loss HZRT.