hard day for us (conflicting emotions)

it is a difficult day today.

found out early this morning that a member of our family had passed away in hospital
why it's difficult is simple... we don't know how to react or take the news.

like, we want to act "normal", and sad, and all that stuff, but this woman's last words to us were... I hope you die in hell, so we don't exactly have the emotions that we perhaps should be displaying, but also feel bad for not feeling sad.. well we do feel sad and stuff...... a little.... hard to know how we feel

Feelings are just feelings. Never feel bad about how you do or don't feel unless you act on the feeling in a way that isn't right. Sometimes the smartest thing we can do is not act on a feeling. Sometimes it is a blessing when we don't feel a thing!

I think you can feel the way you want to,but not walk around with a smile on your face if you are attending any part of the ceremony.