I live in a pretty small condo development. 20 units. We all kind of know each other. Something sad is that it is primarily populated with single women. Of all different ages.

But one of my neighbors.. a single woman, died this past week. She was 71. It was unexpected but she had heart issues.

I actually feel pretty bad about it. I never talked to her or knew her.

I found out via her obituary she used to work in the place that my mother died and that makes me even more sympathetic.

Her obituary went up today and (1) they don't want flowers just donations to the humane society and (2) no one has said anything on the condolence page, and I want to but.. what do I say.. I didn't know her but I feel bad?

I remember being so touched when neighbors came for my mom's funeral but the only difference is that she did talk to them.

Some other neighbors wanted the condo to send a donation but we said no, but I still would like to do something privately. I don't know if that is happening.

[Kinderal]

You could just express your condolences to the family and say that you wish you had an opportunity to know her better. Signed, a neighbor.

[Skeezyks]

I live in a small townhome development. And there are quite a few single women of various ages living here as well, plus a few couples & one or two single older men. I don't really know anyone here. I know who they are & where they live. But that's about it. I'm a pretty solitary old geezer myself. So I pretty-much avoid everyone.

As far as something to write on this lady's condolence page goes, I think you could paraphrase what you wrote here. You could say that, sadly, you didn't know her but that you happened to read her obituary. If you recall anything about her, such as having seen her periodically at the mailboxes or out for a walk, that sort of thing, you could mention that. You could also mention about the place where she worked as it related to your mom, if you feel comfortable doing so... any little tidbits you can come up with.

I sometimes reply to posts, here on PC, where no one else has replied & I don't really have anything specific to offer either. In those types of situations I often just write that I don't have anything specific to offer, but that I just wanted to let the poster know I read her / his post & I wish them well. Hopefully, as the old saying goes, it's the thought that counts...

[Travelinglady]

I'm sorry to hear about your neighbor. Such a death is distressing, since it was literally so close to home.