[Genesis]

Just curious if anyone else has had a pregnancy loss. When I was 15, I was coerced into an abortion that has really effected my life. I posted in another board about wanting to mend the relationship with my oldest son. Well, this is what happened. This is why I've lost that 'connection.'

I had depression and all that before that happened, but that definately made it worse! I didn't know any better I guess, I wish I would have taken the time to learn more about it. My mom was adamant about getting it done but I was pretty indifferent at the time. Now I wish I would have kept the baby. But anyway, just curious if anyone else here has had or has this problem.

PLEASE don't get political, that's not the intent of this post. I don't care if you're pro life or pro choice, I just want to know if there are other women here who know what I've gone through because of this.

[ktp]

Genesis:

I haven't been through the same thing you have, but wanted to post to you anyway, because I can understand the pain. I, too, became pregnant at 15. I was ASKED and said no, but now if my parents had wanted to push it, being underage, you're really left with no choice. I don't think you were indifferent, I think you were probably alot like me: young and SCARED out of your mind. I was petrified! No idea what you're going to do, and all of the emotions that run through your mind. There is alot of stigma attached to teenage pregnancy. I heard it all and it took a toll on me. I feel for you and want to offer you (((Hugs))) No one has the right to judge another. And having been in those shoes, though the situation turned out different, I can completely relate to the pain you must have gone through since then. Take Care of yourself. You're not alone, I can assure you of that.

((((Genesis))))

I wish you peace.
Kimberly

[PlanningtoLive]

I also had to have an abortion. The memories are there, the rememberance of the time when "she" would have been born.

I remember afterwards going to the nearest bar with a friend crying how I had killed my child. It was and still is a horrible time to think about.

I should have kept my child.

{{{{{{Genesis}}}}}}}}}

[shakes]

I have never had an abortion, but I can only imagine what it must be like. I can understand that a sense of regret would probably be common. I do not know if this helps but you made a decision that you thought was best at the time. That is all that you could have done. I am sorry for your sense of grief.... I only hope that time will help you.

Jessica

[collegefriend]

well, its been quite a while since i have been looking/posting on the boards and this issue has been in my mind/heart the past few weeks. Oh its not me who had an abortion but one of my very close college friends. i have cried so much over this because i really don't know why she did it. she says because her doctor said her pregnancy was a tubal pregnancy and there was a chance if the baby didn't fall that her tube would explode and she wouldn't be able to have kids. the thing is: it that she lives far away from me so i haven't really been able to sit down and talk to her, so in my mind i have been thinking that she just didn't want the baby. she has told me many times that she could get an abortion and that she would. Im afraid she didn't want the baby and it happened. i know their was a chance that the baby was a drug baby so i am afraid she didn't want it because of that.
im not angry at her or anything and i am worried about her and i care so much about her but so worrried at the same time. she didn't tell her mom she was having an abortion, her boyfriend didn't go with her & didn't help pay for it. the guy who went/took her is an ex-boyfriend that she is good friends with her still well im just rambling as i said this has been on my mind and making me sad and all that

[Genesis]

{{{{CF}}}}} If she had an ectopic pregnancy, she didn't have much of a choice. Ectopics (tubal pregnancies) can be fatal to the mother if the tube would burst. I don't claim to know a whole lot about ectopics and I'm no physician (obviously), but I've never heard of the baby falling into the uterus once a tubal has been confirmed, so I can understand your suspicion.

However, being the "outsider," there's not a whole lot that you can do to make it any easier on her (assuming she feels bad about it or would later). I would suggest you just be there for her to 'pick up the pieces' if she falls. But don't push the issue, regardless of where you stand.

From personal experience, there's nothing worse than having someone tell me to "get over it, you made the right decision," or "how could you kill your baby?" Then there's the fence-sitters who never know what to say and end up with their foot in their mouths.

It's a hard topic anyway, let alone to have to live through. Just be there for her if she needs someone to talk to, but sometimes just listening is better than giving advice or opinions.

I hope both of you get through it okay and I wish you both well! ((((HUGS)))) to both of you!

[Genesis]

I know how you feel. I totally relate! ((((HUGS))))

[Genesis]

Thanks for the kind words, I appreciate them.

[nothemama8]

Never had an abortion but my hubby and I lost a little boy in my 7th month of pregnacy, when Gary asked the Dr. what caused this the Dr. said oh you know, (very insensitive man) we found out later that I have a cathedral shaped pelvic and due to that I would have trouble carrying full term. This was 27 yrs ago and I still miss my baby boy.

[Genesis]

Oh my goodness! I am so sorry!! ((((HUGE BEAR HUGS))))

[SweetCrusader]

(((((((Angie)))))))

I cannot imagine your grief.

[ktp]

Angie:

I'm so sorry for your loss. It must be very difficult.

(((Hugs)))

Take care,
Kimberly.