Is it normal

HI, I lost my husband of 21 yrs, this past summer he was only 45, I miss him, and loved him dearly, but
I have been think alot about the funeral director who helped me he was so kind, is this a normal feeling or is it lonelyness, or what. I feel bad, as mis my husband so much. but I know I am scared of being alone for the next 20-40-years.

I'm so sorry about the death of your husband. You are SO young to be a widow!

Your feelings of attachment to the funeral director, imo, are completely normal. He was kind and supportive when you were at your most vulnerable. You were in extraordinary pain, and he was a shoulder to cry on. It makes perfect sense that your mind returns to him now, when you are feeling lonely.

I would imagine that he is probably under some sort of restriction from getting involved with former clients, because of this vulnerable situation. Does that make sense to you? I have a good friend who works in a funeral home, and I'm pretty sure she could confirm this for me if you'd like - but I'd bet it's in the code of ethics for funeral director licensing.

So, where to go with these feelings? I'd try to accept them as completely normal. Let yourself believe that perhaps it's part of the healing process. You have an empty place in your life, and your brain wants to fill it. Maybe there are some other avenues for doing that?

Maybe opening up to more social events, taking classes, just getting out to meet new people. Fill up that place with others. You are WAY to young to believe that you must be alone forever. If by attending these social events, you meet a nice guy...well, that would be interesting. Or maybe you'll meet some nice ladies and find you can laugh again? That would be wonderful too.

One great big hug from me to you!

Emmy