[lynn P.]

Hi Everyone,
it has been a year now since my brother passed away. He died from alcohol poisoning and they say it was suicide. He battled alcoholism for 40 yrs. When it happened my oldest brother flew 4 hours to come to the funeral. When I was reading the notice in the paper to see when the visiting hours were schedualed, to my shock there wasn't any - only a notice for a memorial service. I called his home and his daughter said that he was already cremated. I was stunned and angry. Later I called my sister-in-law and her only logical explanation was - that she and her daughter can't stand to be around a dead body. I get shaky just writing about it now. I told her how could she have done this -that she should have called us and we could gone in by ourselves and payed our respects. I told her how hurt I was that she only cared about how she felt. To me part of the grieving process in seeing that person.
Two years prior to this, her own mother died and she didn't mind being in the room with her casket. Not only did I suffer the pain of my brothers suicide, but also the pain of not seeing him one last time -I feel I was dealt a double whammy. Can anyone understand how I feel.

[I_WMD]

lynnP ,, The grieving thingy Blows , big time ............

But ya know ,, S I L ,,, may have realized from being in a room with a casket the first time ,,,, that [ albeit her ] she was one too many of those for her life time .

The other place in feelings place , and wanting / wishing to have seen your Brother ,,,,,,,, I will equate it like this ;
Sometimes the photos' and picture in our own minds eye is best .
[ I say that because I could have seen someone , my father , after he passed , but they had done some organ removal for donation ,,,,, His eyes ,,,,, and the Doc told me " Better to remember him whole , not like this " ]

I am Truly Sorrowful for the feelings you have now .
Hope this might have helped a bit .

WMD.

[bearchic34]

LynnP
I can not fathom how you feel. It is heartbreaking that your SIL had no respect for her husband familys need. Is it possible that the suicide made an open casket impossible? If you want to maintain any sort of relationship with the niece I suggest letting it go and trying to just think of they were trying to do the best thing possible for them. ~hugs~

Note to everyone, the lesson is to get an ironclad will in order so that nothing happens to your remains or estate that you don't want to happen. It's a terrible way to learn a lesson but yet it's there anyways a lesson.

[lynn P.]

Thank you To I WMD and Bearchic34,
thanks for your understanding and trying to make me feel better. For me, part of the grieving process is being able to see that person one last time - it helps to finalize and accept the death. I just wish someone would have told me.
As I was looking at theses posts today, I could see your name (bearchic) on so many posts. It's obvious that you have alot of compassion for those of us who are grieving. Thank you for the way that you care.

[I_WMD]

lynnP ,,,,, By this siggy ; it be you also ...........

__________________

Live Simply....
Love Generously....
Care Deeply....
Speak Kindly....

..............that is compassionatly ,,,,,,
Kind , deeply generous , simple & that lives to speak careingly of Love .

WMD.

[lynn P.]

Hi I WMD,
thanks for the video link for the song. Re-" by this siggy; it be you also", I guess I'm not good at reading between the lines, but I don't know what you were trying to say. Please explain. Thanks.

Hi lynn P.

I hope you can come to some peace with this, as hard as it will be. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I was fortunate to get to see my brother a few days before he passed away but it was one of the hardest things I did. He was in such rough shape it was traumatic to see him so sick. Anyway, his wife wanted a closed casket so I didn't get a chance to see him at rest.

Take care.