[Monty_girl]

I got my referral to have a colonscope today. I really don't want to go, but I know I have to have it. Just very scared. Scared that they'll find something. And scared of the test it's self. They are going to have to knock me completely out. Just the thought of the test is extremely triggering for me. Bad thing is that I'm also scared of being put under. But I know I have to be knocked out for this. Can't be awake any for this test. I have to call monday to set up an appointment to meet the doctor, then have the test. I'm going to go and bury my head in the sand now. <<< Look quick sand

Monty

Sigh. Doctors and tests are so scary.

I will keep my petals crossed for you Monty!

Petunia

[dexter]

Monty,

I have had many many colonoscopies and hope I can put your mind to rest a bit for the test.

The "knockout" is very gentle, it is not like anesthesia for an operation. And the whole thing seems very quick. In fact, for my tests, they changed it recently... they used to give me a concoction that had demerol in it, and I actually used to look forward to getting that... not being a drug user this was a great experience for me, I would just feel so amazingly happy and good... for just a few moment... and then the test would be over. Didn't even feel like I was asleep. Yet once it was over I didn't feel at all groggy or foggy afterward.

My last one, I made a comment about it, and they said they don't use demerol any more. I figured it would be something the same. They gave it to me, and then the test was over. Didn't even know I had been asleep at all. But it skipped that few seconds of happy-hippie feeling right before. What a disappointment!

They may make you bring someone with you, because they don't want you driving home after having the relaxers. I can say for me (and you may very well be different) that by the time I was dressed and back to the waiting room I felt 100% fine. In fact the last two times I couldn't get anyone to go with me, so I just told them I was meeting someone and left (I did not drive, my doc was in Manhattan so I had a few subways and a train in time to work it out of my system before driving home from the train station). Although I wouldn't recommend this on your first trip in case you react differently, my point is that this isn't something that is going to make you knocked out and out of control for hours.

If you can bring a friend with you that you trust, maybe it will help the anxiety while waiting and knowing you have someone there to take you home when it is over.

I know that fears can't really be put to rest by logic and explanation, but I hope this helps a little. I've had GI series, which are uncomfortable and then you spend the rest of the day trying to evacuate all of the barium... sigmoidascopes, which is kind of like a colonoscopy but not as deep, so they don't medicate you at all... and by far I think the colonoscopy is the easiest of the three.

Good luck, and I hope you can keep the anxiety under control!

[(JD)]

Thanks for the update Monty.. so that means by the end of next week it will "all" be over.. we hope! So much stress, for your brother and for you! I'm glad dexter had the specs on the tests... ugh I think I will look into the pill camera instead

[Monty_girl]

Purple and soft pink pedals to lay my head on.

[Monty_girl]

hey dexter, my H will go with me. It's a 20 mile drive home. I know I couldn't do the drive by myself. And I know I'll need him there for support.

Man I would Love that Happy-Hippie feeling. That sounds pretty good right now.

[Monty_girl]

Oh Sky do I wish that it could be all over by next week. But I'm leaving to go out of town next friday for my birthday week-end. Got to hit the roller coasters before they close for the season. So a few more weeks. My doc is doing blood work and wanted me to get an ultrasound on my gallbladder. But I said I wanted to hold off till the blood work came back. Is to much to deal with all at once. She said that would be fine with her. She wanted to see if my liver enzymes are ok incase that's what is going on. Will it ever end?

[Gemstone]

{{{{Monty Girl}}}}

Doctors are very scary. I hope all goes well.

[dexter]

>>Got to hit the roller coasters before they close for the season.

Didn't know you were into rollercoasters, MG! Have you seen my photos on my website? (I haven't been able to get on any coasters this season though )

[Monty_girl]

Hey dexter, I've been to 5 of the parks you have on your site. I'm doing Cedar Point next week-end ( 3rd time this year). Just bummed that the Top Thrill Dragster is down for the season. But they have always had problems with it. But I got front seat in June and that's all that matters. I have some pics of rides here in my photo gallery. All I have to say is Cool another coaster fan. Happy Dancin
Monty

[dexter]

I used to go to Cedar Point every year, and we would spend 4 days there in the on-site hotel. We would often try to coincide our trip with the park's "CoasterMania" day, and I'd get my friends in as an ACE member, and we would make that the last or next-to-last day of our trip.

Last time we did that was the year Millennium Force opened, so we got to ride it as ERT in the morning with only about maybe 200 people? And then awesome ERT on Mantis and Magnum late into the evening after the park closed. We spent the rest of our time there heading to MF in the morning, the hotel opens to the back end of the park so we would go right to MF and ride several times before the general admission crowd worked their way back to that end of the park. It was awesome. I always like to close my non-ERT evenings there on Raptor, I think that one is most awesome at the end of the evening, when the park is closing (although then it is a long, lonely walk back to the hotel )

I haven't been able to get out since my arthritis/depression, and my last summer "free" of those things I actually skipped my annual trip because of work, boy do I regret that. That may be the year "Wicked Twister" opened, I don't remember for sure. So obviously I never rode that or "Top Thrill Dragster".

They opened a coaster almost identical to "Dragster" in nearby Great Adventure this year. It is 6 feet taller than Dragster so that they could claim the "tallest" title. Humbug, still don't make the park a "Cedar Point" by any means. I am upset that I didn't get to ride it even once this season.

Have you ever been to Kennywood in Pittsburgh? It is my other favorite park. Very different than what most people are used to, it still has that "small park" atmosphere, but some awesome coasters. Very uncrowded, very comfortable. If you ask someone what time the park closes that evening they tell you "either 11 or midnight, depending on when the crowd starts to thin" I absolutely love that.

when I had my colonoscopy and endoscopy the did nto knock me totally out. they gave me two meds one was called versed the combo of the two put me in a very relaxed state sort of like undergoing hypnosis. I was semi still aware to the point where I was able to tell them when I felt the pain of air pressure (for those who dont know in order to do the procedures they have to fill your insides with air like a baloon. I was able to answer questions and watched on the camera some of the procedure (not much because my eyes would not stay open But I have to say cleaned out it looked pretty cool down and up there). It is sort of like going to sleep but yet not asleep. I remember at one point they thought they needed to decrease the IV flow for the meds because I stopped answering their questions. I was busy listening to the silence in my head. Being DID having complete silence was a novelty. I told the intern that reached for the IV switch that if he touched that bag he would loose his two bags of golf balls and putter to go with them. I liked not hearing voices and static and wanted to enjoy that as long as possible. Now when I have the procedure done once a year (to check on my cancer status) The same guy comes in wearing all kinds of home made "armor" to protect his golf balls and putter should he need to adjust the IV flow. LOL. I promise colonoscopys are a snap. You will be ok. my hardest time was not letting my imagination run wild during the week prior to the procedure. I have a major phobia of hospital settings since I was raped while on a mental health unit. For two years I had to have the procedures every 6 months.. My therapist had to make me get in her car and walked me up to the unit and sat waiting with me and then she was right there with in minutes of my coming out of the anestesia (versed) otherwise I would NOT have gone. The first time it was because of a combination of fear of hospitals and fear of the procedure but once I saw how easy it was I was no longer afraid of the procedure. I still have my fear of hospital settings and most likely always will. Now that my cancer is in remission I only have the procedures done every two years. You will be ok and you can do this..Just keep saying to yourself "breath, I am not going to let my imagination scare me I can do this." I do this every time. I also take my walkman with my favorite music with me. They let me listen to it while the versed takes effect so that I don't panic about the hospital setting,into all kinds of memory states. I could start chanting ....You can do this you can do this I know you can I know you can, sing your favorite song,I'll even add my voice and sign language to the songs with you. You can do this you can do this. you are not alone, you can do this......

[(JD)]

hmmm I'm allergic to versed.

[dexter]

>>and watched on the camera some of the procedure

Oh you ARE brave At one of mine I was awake during a small part and took a look at the camera display... man it freaked me out Sometimes I can't resist though

For Monty, this is nothing to get anxious about, looking at the camera would be your choice even IF you have the opportunity... so no need to worry about that possibility.

>>I told the intern that reached for the IV switch that if he touched that bag he would loose his two bags of golf balls and putter to go with them.

That is one of the funniest stories I ever heard.

Thank you. yea the attending orderly/nurse I said it too thought so to. They aren't used to DID's talking off the top middle and bottom of their head during proceedures they say when I come in and go under the versed "We don't know which will ultimately be answering our questions - Dr. Ruth, Robin Willians, the olsen twins, or Arnold Swartsnigger" From what I know about my memory states - Mouthy tough Margo=Arnold swartznigger, me, myself&I= the olsen twins, Katherine and her phylisophical mouth must be Robin Williams and since Tracy and Tammy have in the past gotten me into some rather sexual situations they have to be the ones that equil Dr. Ruth. The funny part of all this is that while under the versed Im 100% co conscious with out trying but without it I have to fight like anything to stay connected when triggered. Weird.

Alergic to versed - They also use demerol instead of versed when needed for this proceedure.

[(JD)]

I'm not sure it's just ppl who are DID... as when I was under for my jaw surgery, I said something MARVELOUS and HYSTERICALLY memorable in the OR... my surgeon won't tell me (nor will any of the nurses, nor even my T) but my surgeon said he will NEVER Forget me!!!

[Monty_girl]

I called and got an appointment for wed afternoon to meet with the doctor. They also had me have my last blood work faxed to them.

LOL last year during dental surgery I kept asking what store we were in and if we were going shopping. I HATE to shop. But I guess someone inside wanted to shop. DID keeps life interesting.
Monty

that it does monty girl. Laughing right along with you and Sky.