[dexter]

We spoke today at my partial program about plans for the weekend, I've been trying very hard to stay out of bed because that has been a very bad symptom of my depression... staying in bed all day.

But when I got home today I realized it isn't always the depression that keeps me in bed. Past two or three days my arthritis has really flared up. If I feel like this over the weekend I won't have the energy to get out of bed... both because it is painful to move and because the arthritis may be making me fatiged.

And when I am stuck in bed because of my arthritis I think about how it has changed my life and my ability to experience things... and that of course feeds into my depression. And then the depression keeps me in bed which makes my joints feel even stiffer leading to even more pain.

And my arthritis flareups are generally linked to my depression and the amount of stress in my life. So there is both a physical and an emotional connection there. The ingredients for true love and neverending bliss for my two current companions: depression and arthritis.

Maybe they'll go on a long honeymoon and leave me in peace.

Man did this post take a disturbing unplanned turn...

[h0kie]

I am dealing with something similar dex though I haven't been diagnosed with depression (that's just cuz I won't go...hubby's trying to make me go, lol).

I think you're right, it's vicious cycle. Good days are good. I feel like doing things, I get things accomplished, I'm "me". Bad days...aren't so hot. Being forced to stay home and "rest". Having no energy to do anything. Being in pain on top of that lack of energy.

I struggle to decide do I try to "push through" the pain/problems? Sometimes getting out of bed (or in my case, off the couch) isn't an option. Those are the worst.

In my job, I usually end up scheduling jobs ahead of time. This is incredibly difficult right now because I never know if next Friday is going to be a good day, or if it is going to be a bad day. However, if I say I will work, I have to. That just makes me not accpet jobs that I should, then I feel bad.

Like I said, a vicious, vicious cycle.

Thinking of you and wishing you a good weekend.

[JustBen]

Yeah, it's like a feedback cycle. Either the depression or the physical problem can get the ball rolling, but once that's done, they both start reinforcing each other.

[Leslie]

Dear Dexter,

I know where you are coming from. I try to think of ways of doing things even if I don't feel a 100% . Lately I have times I feel like I could pass out so I went to the store and bought ammonia sticks, this way if i do feel like passing out , I can put this under my nose and I will be fine. I am always thinking of ways to be functional. Having a good friend that is an EMT is also helpful.

Take care,
Leslie

[(JD)]

Yeah... physical illness + depression... they are intertwined. I try to at least get up and get dressed. I have a dog who does't care what I wear, but insists he gets fed and allowed to go out. At least when I'm in bed with street clothes on, I can feel I can answer the door or go out and check mail etc.. IF I am able. TC