[LMo]

Ok, I'll come out of the closet about this.

I've been trying to get pregnant. Weird to even write those words. We started in September, but didn't really know the medical details behind timing/ovulation etc. I went to an ob/gyn and she instructed me to do the basal body temp routine, and also expressed some alarm because since stopping the Pill in May, my cycles have mostly been every 3 weeks (except in October, when it was 5 weeks - go figure).

I messed up my temperature chart in October (thermometer battery died and I didn't get a new one in time). Started officially charting in November. But, had to go out of town during my pre-ovulation days. Just forecasted December and I'll be out of the country during my pre-ovulation days then, too.

I'm 36. I wasn't worried before (I've always FELT fertile?!) and I am not entirely worried yet because I think that we just haven't gotten the timing right, but... ugh? When should I start worrying? I guess I can't do much until January, but the 3 week cycle thing kind of has me thrown for a loop -- the ob/gyn said that shortening cycles are usually a sign that your fertility is decreasing

UGH UGH UGH. I thought this would be easier

[(JD)]

Stress doesn't help... long time ago my neighbors were trying for years to have a baby... trying too hard I told them... so I let them babysit my kids... voila! the first month they got pregnant (guess they were so happy with babies around once in a while??) Relax... and good wishes.

[LMo]

Thanks _Sky. My parents had problems conceiving and went to see my uncle, who is a specialist. He prescribed a few bottles of wine.

I know this is possible - just didn't think it would take this long. I have child-bearing hips, for crying out loud!

[dexter]

>>I messed up my temperature chart in October (thermometer battery died and I didn't get a new one in time).

Hey in the olden days how did we ever manage to procreate without batteries??!!

I think you are on a good track... as to "When should I start worrying?" I have to say NEVER because worrying is only going to make it worse. You want to relax, follow your ob/gyn's advice, and don't forget to also ENJOY YOURSELF!

This made me think about the TV show "Mad About You" where they spent a season trying to get pregnant... they had trouble and were both checked for fertility, turned out the husband was OK and the wife put all sorts of pressure on herself. They started to drift apart and a little bit of mistrust. Then there was a scene where they finally got all their emotions out, and she said she was scared because she knew he wanted children and what would happen to their marriage if it turned out she couldn't have a baby? And he said to her "When are you going to understand... there is no such thing as 'you can't have a baby', it will always be 'we can't have a baby'... we are in this together! If we can't have a baby we'll adopt or do something but we are in this together!"

So finally the tension that had been building for the last several episodes was gone... and the final scene in that episode was the wife in the bathroom looking at the stick from a pregnancy test and smiling.

Did I go off base here

Anyway GOOD LUCK!!! Don't put pressure on, and enjoy yourself!

[dottie]

http://www.handbag.com/family/havingababy/over35/

Hope you will find this helpful. Specific answers to your questions LMO.

TGC

[LMo]

Thanks Dexter and Dottie. I appreciate your concern. Can't do much other than stay healthy and have a good love life, I guess!

sweetness, you're going to be okay. the worrying won't help matters along....just go with the flow...and i know it's easier said than done. and i've always thought your hips were child-bearing type myself, so i'm sure you're going to get there!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo pat

[SweetSunshine]

Leann~

I am hesitant to tell you my story. Because it didnt end the way I wanted to. But yet I thought about it and well I want to give you some incentive to not give up on your dream of having children either thru natural or adoptive ways. Dont ever give up on your dream like I did.I was my moms only blood child. I Wanted to give her a granchild of her own.

When I was 25 hubby and I started trying to get pregnant. He was good about having children but it wasnt a priority to him. If we did we did if not that was ok too.

After a year of trying ourselves and a couple of pregnancies that I had miscarried. We sought help. Or I did. I tried the clomid . and the HGC shots. Got pregnant once and miscarried again. Then my ob/gyn wanted to do a hysterosalpingography. Its where they shoot dye into your fallopian tubes to see if there is any blockage. Well everything turned out ok on that. And then later on I had a laparoscopy done. And things turned out fairly well on that too. I hadsome adnormal cells . So we scheduled a D&C then. I got pregnant again and then miscarried once more. I couldnt carry past 4 months. By this time my periods were erradic and lengthy. Sometimes up to 20 days out of the month. So I had to do something because it was just hindering my life so much. I wanted to go to activities and I couldnt . So in August of 2000, I had a supracervical hysterectomy. It was THE HARDEST decision I ever had to make .. to end any possibility of having my own child. My dad was so kind about it. He knew how much this hurt me. And he said Beth there is more to life than having kids. And I believed him. I thought ok. this is my chance now to focus on me and things I needed to deal with. And enjoy life to its fullest. And I've tried so hard to do that. The thing is my heart is still empty for that baby to take care of , to rock to sleep, feed , play with and watch grow up. By this time I was 32 and hubby was 41. And he decided he didnt want to have kids now . Adoption was not an option for us now. I had to give up my dream. He knew how much this hurt me. And he did his best to support me thru all the tests and treatments. But he had had enough . And in a way I didnt blame him. And this is something we both had to agree on . So I figured since he did his best to try all thos years, I would give in.

I guess what I am saying is to make sure you and hubby are on the same page ok? And Make your Dream come true!!! Ohh and btw.... 35 is never too late hon.... I was a product of 2 48 yr olds! LOL. So yeah ... it can happen!

I wish you all the luck and love in the world on this! And yes relaxing and enjoying yourself is soooooooo very important when your trying. It helps to keep the trust there. And try your best to keep it .... uhmmmm can I say HOT? LOL. That helps too!

Hugz~
Bethy

[LMo]

Oh, Beth... I'm so sorry to hear about your story. It was really nice of you to open up like that for me, so that I can learn from you. I'll keep at it, promise.

Love,
LMo

ps - and thanks Pat ;p

[SweetSunshine]

Leann~ I am glad you took it like I was hoping you would! I was so scared I would somehow discourage you . Thanks for letting me know !

Hugz~
Bethy

don't worry about messing up the charts. a simple way to do it is a person ovulates at 14 days before their next period. so chart your periods. the first day of your period is day one. for example a persons cycle may look like - september 26 is day one in the cyle. Keep counting the days until the next period starts on october 23rd. and again on november 19th. two months in a row the person had a 28 day cycle

so now that the cycle is known count forwards to the next period (december 16). from december 16 count backwards 14 days and that is when the person ovulates. in this case its december 2nd. having sex anytime on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd (because sperm is only viable for 72 hours) will result in prgnancy.

My son is happy proof of this and I was 30 when my boyfriend and I visited my ob/gyn for this information.

I also use this concept too as birth control in on those three fertile days the person does not have sex. and have been successful for 12 years.

Good luck

[LMo]

Thanks Myself!

The problem is that I'm not ovulating regularly. My cycles (post-Pill) have mostly been 3-week cycles with one 5-week cycle. The ob/gyn wanted me to do the basal temp chart because that is normally not a good sign and she wants to keep an eye on the temperature patterns.

I've pretty much been on the pill since I was 16, with maybe 5 hiatuses. That's 20 years on the pill. I don't really know what my body does when it's not on it. My mom also took an anti-miscarriage drug (DES) when she was pregnant with me so there is a chance that I will have some fertility problems (although the ob/gyn doesn't suspect that DES will be a contributor in my case).

Ugh. All those years of worrying that I'd get knocked up and now that I'm actually trying, it's not so easy.

[LMo]

but I do agree with you about it as birth control, now that I know what I'm doing. I would recommend it for people who aren't regular or who don't pay attention to their bodies, but after this experience, I see no need for me to go back onto birth control once this is all said and done. Although I'm not liking the cramps -- I never had any when I was on the pill.

[jennie]

it took my hubby and i almost 2 years for me to get pregnant; now i'm 29 weeks pregnant!!!!

worry is your enemy. there is another thread here for encouragement. click that link--> Psych Central: Health Support: Fertility Problems thread

[LMo]

Yay Jennie!

Ok - I'm going to the other thread now -- thanks for the pointer!

[LMo]

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

[LMo]

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

LMO I could do this all by picture......you will need one of these

[LMo]

Thanks, but right now, Aunt Flo is visiting

So this will have to wait:

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
LMo said:
Thanks, but right now, Aunt Flo is visiting

MASSIVELY LMAO over our picture book
So this will have to wait:

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

sleeps, where did you get that smilie???? no wonder LMo ed

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

LOL PAT