[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Gee! I've heard that docs used to be a lot more blunt and negative about some patients and wrote up such things in their records before patients were more likely to get copies. I know you docs are only human, but remember that many of us come in scared and upset--and we can regress and generally not be on our best behavior in doctors' offices....

Thank you for your consideration.

Your patient"

Actually, if a patient becomes visibly angry or upset, or there is any kind of confrontation or disagreement, we HAVE to document it for our own safety. That way if the patient files a complaint or sues us in the future, we have a document of the encounter. Of course, there are proper ways of documenting a disagreement/confrontation (use objective language, state the facts, leave out any 'editorializing') and improper ways of documenting it (using emotional language and basically just b-tching about the patient).

I shadowed a doc a few weeks ago. A patient came in asking for narcotics, and became VERY upset when the doc refused to prescribe. She cried, swore, etc. Now, I have a lot of sympathy for the patient -- presumably she is in pain and withdrawal, and really feels she needs those narcotics. Perhaps she was having a bad day and was under a lot of stress. But the doctor wrote a VERY detailed note describing exactly what went down (including the exact wording of the swearing that the patient used). Yes, it's embarrassing to have that in your medical record, and the patient may be upset if she were to request her records and read the detail of the encounter. But the doctor absolutely did the right thing by documenting it in as much detail as possible. Her account was very objective and accurate, though.

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

thanks for all the replies, ppl.

Just one word of concern:

this is a thread mostly for patients to vent and talk about their issues.

If you are a doctor or a med student, may I gently remind you to try as hard as you can to validate this.

I do welcome your posts here with open arms, but I ask that you please try to lean towards being understanding toward patients and less explaining about your own issues.

I have a suggestion for professionals: Start your own thread about your issues or maybe go to a the "professional" forum, if there's any?

I want patients to feel safe here like they can say whatever they need to say without fear of rebuttal or retaliation.

thanks and I love this thread!

Billi

Sorry, read your post before I posted my reply. I will stay out of this thread. I did post what I wished I could tell my own doctors, though.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by bipolarmedstudent

Sorry, read your post before I posted my reply. I will stay out of this thread. I did post what I wished I could tell my own doctors, though.

It's okay.

Posting your "patient" issues is okay.

I know you did.

Billi

[KeepGoing8]

Dear Dr. F & Dr. S,
Thank you for taking my pain seriously, doing your best to get my tests done quickly, working hard to diagnose and treat my particular ailment (kidney stone lodged in ureter), and then going ABOVE and BEYOND to follow up on my progress...even calling me at home to make SURE I was following up with a specialist. You guys ROCK...and are the first doctors I've known in my extensive medical history to even appear to give a $h!+ about me

Dear Dr. H,
Please take some time with your coworker Dr. S to learn some tips on how to be a Good Doctor and treat your patients with respect and attentiveness. When a patient comes into Ugent Care, after being recently diagnosed with a Kidney stone, complaining of nausea, diarrhea, chills, brain zaps, and vaginal pain...perhaps you could at least entertain the idea that she may have real physical problems- do a blood test? Urine test? CT scan for stone position/ possible kidney blockage? Hell...even just perform your standard neurological tests (i.e. follow my finger with your eyes)?
Instead, you glance at my chart, I tell you I am depressed & was on Prozac a few years back until it stopped working for me, so you write me a Prozac prescription and give me the boot.
F U dude, you give doctors a bad name.
Turned out I had Norovirus and it would have been nice if I'd known that and perhaps could have avoided spreading it to my husband and housemate...
Doctors can be real Douchebags...and the only girl I went to college with who is becoming a doctor is a dangerously narcicistic, self-absorbed, possible psychopath with no sympathy, empathy, or understanding of anyone's problems but her own. I think some folks, like her, go into the profession for the "glory" or appreciation they receive for "serving humanity"... too bad the only people they are often serving is themselves and their gigantic egos...
BUT....hold out for the Dr. Fs and Dr. Ss...apparently, they ARE out there!

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

I have a bias against socialized medicine, Bipolarmedstudent. Remember that you are paying for your treatment, but by paying your taxes! I won't get started about how I feel about Obamacare. That's another issue....

Thanks so much for starting this thread!

"Dear Doctor:

Please remember to tell your nurses to look over the test results carefully before calling me to report on them. I received a call telling me my Vitamin D was still too low, so I needed to take more, and that my Vitamin B12 was way too high, so I needed to cut down on that. So, I went out and bought the appropriate bottles with less or more of these vitamins.

The next day your office calls me again and says, 'All your results were normal.' What? Come to find out, my Vitamin D hadn't even been tested, but the sheet (which I later got a copy of) happened to have the previous report results on the bottom of the first page. And the B12, I found out, is not an issue to be concerned about!

Also, I had an appointment to talk to you directly about the results of my additional mammogram work. But first thing that morning the nurse calls and says, without any introductionary remarks, "We have you scheduled for a biopsy. You have a breast mass."

I later discovered that the biopsy was to be done on the breast without the mass, because it showed increasing calcifications. The mass had already been determined to be a benign cyst, which I found out was even stated on the report! But your nurse didn't tell me that important bit of information!

And, doc, when I did see you directly, you sort of blew me off, saying regardless, the findings wouldn't be anything to worry about. You just in passing said something about calcifications and maybe cancer that had not spread. You didn't even tell me about the results of the breast mass. The mass was what I was worried about all along, since I had felt it before the mammogram was done! I didn't even know anything about any calcifications, since they only showed up in the testing! As a result, you had me more worried then ever!!

Maybe from now on you should just mail me my reports and let me read them for myself! Thank you!

Sincerely,

Your annoyed patient"

Payne, I forgot to comment on how callous I thought it was to just say, "We have scheduled for a biopsy. You have a breast mass." WOW, there's compassion for you. No pleasantries? How about...

"Good morning, nice weather today, huh? I'm glad it's not so hot. Okay, now, we looked over the results, and please don't get alarmed, but we would like further testing. We are only being cautious, and there's a good chance this is benign. But we don't know anything yet, so let's take it one step at a time okay? If you have questions or concerns, we have some literature we can send you. Or you can visit our web site. We have your appointment booked, so you're all set."

Something similar happened to me years ago. "There's a solid mass we want to schedule a biopsy for." THEN, she shoves all these brochures at me about cancer. THIS, without even scheduling the appointment for the biopsy yet! I mean, there's no way they can know until they do that, and that wasn't even booked yet!!! Were they expecting me to read all that? Didn't even ask if I wanted the info, or if I live alone, or anything about me or my life. They just assume I'm going to go home, sit with my husband's arm around me, while drinking a soothing cup of tea, and reading it together. (I have the tea, but not the husband. The tea cannot put its arm around me)

Also, I remember surgery years ago when during pre-op, they said they need to put this catherer (sp?) in. Two nurses just came up to me out of the blue. I didn't even know they were going to do that, and I don't know if advance knowledge would have helped anyway. They didn't give me any sedative or pain reliever or numbing stuff or anything. I said, "You're going to put what WHERE? Oh no!!!" It was excruciating. They kept telling me to "relax." I had something different I wanted to tell THEM. Anyway, if there was such a thing as Martians, THEY would have heard me screaming and wondered what is going on that planet.

I don't know if there's not enough doctors, so they are rushing to see everyone, or what.

Overall, health care to me is both body and soul, physical and mental. There is not enough "care" or compassion in "health care" in this country. I don't know about others in that aspect, only in that they are all covered (industrialized nations). Medical schools need to teach (if that's possible to teach) compassion and awareness of people. Different personalities, lifestyles, cultures, etc. They need the medical knowledge with the compassion of a mental health professional. (I know not all of them have it too, but they do have more knowledge of the mind & get how going to the doctor is emotionally traumatic for a lot of people).

I just got 5 pages of instructions on an upcoming procedure, written in a commanding tone. Like you'll go to jail if you don't follow the instructions. "YOU MUST HAVE SOMEONE DRIVE YOU HOME OR WE WILL NOT PROCEED." What about people that don't have anyone? Those people DO exist.

Even with those instructions, I didn't know everything I wanted to know. I had to call & talk to a nurse to get more info, and I heard her sigh now & then, like I was a bother. If you had given enough info in the first place, I wouldn't "bother" you.

I just got my lab results in the mail. It would help, dear doctors and nurses, to explain what those acronyms mean. WBC is probably white blood cells, but others things aren't obvious. ALT is for liver function. Would it pain you too much to put in parenthesis "Liver", "Kidney", "sugar level", etc.

My Doctor is fine so there's not much to say to her except thanks for your patience and understanding ...

There's plenty I'd like to say to these damn insurance companies though ...

(Insert Angry Face Here) ...

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by BrokenCloud

My Doctor is fine so there's not much to say to her except thanks for your patience and understanding ...

There's plenty I'd like to say to these damn insurance companies though ...

(Insert Angry Face Here) ...

Me too...Good idea to start a thread on? I'm sure that one will be busy too.

[Travelinglady]

Follow-up: I told my doctor about the experience I had with the test report and how I wasn't happy about how my mammogram report was handled. She became very defensive. I do plan on getting my reports myself in the future, and I suggest that all of you do the same.

Also, I read the report the nurse at another hospital had written about my family health history. I had plainly written on a form and even told her that my twin sister had had stage 4 uterine cancer. Of all things, the nurse's report said that my sister had never had cancer! Sigh.

[suzzie]

wish i was brave enough to make an appointment. but im not. i havent for five years now.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

STOP TAKING OUT YOUR ISSUES WITH THE INSURANCE OUT ON US!

It's not our fault!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

this is a wonderful thread.

Keep posting!

B.

[nonightowl]

Originally Posted by suzzie

wish i was brave enough to make an appointment. but im not. i havent for five years now.

It can take me courage to call and just make the **** appointment. Fortunately, the receptionists and appointment clerks are compassionate. It's the nurses that are a *****, most of the time.

I had to call that number again with more questions about the instructions they gave me. The same nurse answered. Attitude, poor English, and worst of all, I could tell she was going to hang up on me again when SHE said, "Okay, thank you." What is SHE thanking me for???? That's my line, as when I'm done with my questions, I will thank HER, even though she doesn't deserve it.

I raised my voice and said, "DON'T you hang up on me! That is RUDE!!!!" Funny that she did not, as I could not physically stop her from doing it, or stop her period. But she didn't apologize either.

I also had to say to her, "Can I get a simple YES or NO on whether I can eat dairy products a few days before?" What is not clear about my question, "Can I still eat dairy that week before?" Somebody tell me. She kept talking about the day before. I get that. I SAID THE WEEK BEFORE.

What burns me up is these people are employed, and there are many who are not who could do a much better job! Better communication/listening skills and more compassion.

I know my rant is about nurses, but they can be just as insensitive & clueless as doctors. Employers are always demanding good communication skills, but it seems they hire people without them, at least in this case.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

It can take me courage to call and just make the **** appointment. Fortunately, the receptionists and appointment clerks are compassionate. It's the nurses that are a *****, most of the time.

I had to call that number again with more questions about the instructions they gave me. The same nurse answered. Attitude, poor English, and worst of all, I could tell she was going to hang up on me again when SHE said, "Okay, thank you." What is SHE thanking me for???? That's my line, as when I'm done with my questions, I will thank HER, even though she doesn't deserve it.

I raised my voice and said, "DON'T you hang up on me! That is RUDE!!!!" Funny that she did not, as I could not physically stop her from doing it, or stop her period. But she didn't apologize either.

I also had to say to her, "Can I get a simple YES or NO on whether I can eat dairy products a few days before?" What is not clear about my question, "Can I still eat dairy that week before?" Somebody tell me. She kept talking about the day before. I get that. I SAID THE WEEK BEFORE.

What burns me up is these people are employed, and there are many who are not who could do a much better job! Better communication/listening skills and more compassion.

I know my rant is about nurses, but they can be just as insensitive & clueless as doctors. Employers are always demanding good communication skills, but it seems they hire people without them, at least in this case.

Hey, night owl; I am sorry this happened to you.

I hate being hung up on, too.

I usually try to beat them at it. lol

Maybe I should change Dear Doctor to Dear Provider.

It can be nurses, therapists, doctors, dentists or anyone we are dealing with in the health care/helping field.

thanks for this,

Billi

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

This thread was inspired by the individual who started a thread in "Psychotherapy" on what they would like to say to their therapist.

Here's a similar thread I want to start.

I am fed up with health care providers' baloney and at best, their inability to figure out what's wrong with me.

Here's my first post:

Dear Dentist: Why did you excuse me from your practice just because you could not figure out what's wrong with my teeth?

Why can't you be honest with me and say, "Ms. ___________, I don't want to see you anymore because you will not pay $145. for cleanings."

Why do you have to milk my money? While I'm in so much pain?

Dear Doctors:

Instead of throwing your hands up in the air because my Dilantin does not help me, why don't you refer me to a neurologist? and why did you only give me 3 weeks supply instead of a month's supply of meds, when you know that I cannot go off them suddenly?

Why do you think like a robot and not like a human being?

And you order only 3 shots for my allergies when you are supposed to order 9? (1 a week)? and then the nurse yells at me because I did not make another appt. for one?

Why do I get the brunt of things?

Why are you not responsible for your mistakes?

This is an angry letter and I do not intend to send it anywhere.

This can be a venting thread or just a thread to get it out so that you can process your issues in a safe forum before you actually talk to your provider.

You can even process your good feelings about your provider if you want to.

Billi

I am changing this to Dear Provider, so that we can talk about any health care professional relationship.

[Travelinglady]

Dear Provider,

I sure would appreciate it if you wouldn't just blow off my pain by referring to my problems as "minor." As I told you, if the pain I'm getting from these problems is from a "minor" condition, then I'd hate to have a "major" one. Can you think of some other words which wouldn't sound so demeaning? Maybe "beginning disc protrusion"? And then why do you say, "the doctor didn't see anything he could operate on"? How about "Good news! You don't need surgery right now, and we think PT would really help! But if you ever do need surgery, then we're here for you"?

Because of how you phrased my circumstances, if I do ever need surgery, then believe me, you folks will be the last on my list of possible providers!

Your former patient

[bipolarmedstudent]

Oh god, the things I would tell my sleazy ex-dentist. There would be a lot of swearing involved. The sleazy dentist took my severely impacted wisdom teeth out without putting me under (local only). And he was super stingy with the local freezing. I was screaming so loud during the procedure that the patients in the waiting room were asking the receptionist what was wrong. And guess what the sleazy ex-dentist told me every time I screamed? 'shut up! don't be such a baby! you're scaring my patients!'

And he sent me home with Tylenol 3's. When I went back for more pain meds, guess what the sleazy *** gave me?? HOMEOPATHY.

ARGH. I wish I had the time and money to sue his ***. The guy should lose his license.

I talked to another dentist who took one look at my dental x-rays and told me those teeth should have come out under general anaesthetic only, and that my sleazy ex-dentist was crazy for taking them out under local.

IMO? Not crazy. Just a greedy, sleazy dentist out for money.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by bipolarmedstudent

I was screaming so loud during the procedure that the patients in the waiting room were asking the receptionist what was wrong. And guess what the sleazy ex-dentist told me every time I screamed? 'shut up! don't be such a baby! you're scaring my patients!'

WTF?!

that dentist was scaring his patients! Not you!

He was scaring you too! And HURTING you.

WTF?!

Talk about someone who will not own his own issues!

thanks,

Billi

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by billi_leli

WTF?!

that dentist was scaring his patients! Not you!

He was scaring you too! And HURTING you.

WTF?!

Talk about someone who will not own his own issues!

thanks,

Billi

I am sooooo suspicious of dentists now. The med students and dental students at my school share facilities, and I'm always giving the dental students some MAJOR side-eye, lol!

I haven't even seen a dentist since this all went down a few years ago. Luckily I have great teeth.

[nonightowl]

"Dear Doctor:

Be sure your instructions on the prescription label match the instructions your dept mailed me! I had to call to confirm, wasting my time & theirs! I called both the pharmacy and your dept, to be sure everyone is on the same page! This is your job, but since I don't want to repeat this procedure, I want to follow instructions "to the T", even if I have to "pull teeth" to do it!

Your anxious patient"

Payne, if your problems are "minor", you would not have to see these ******* to begin with, right? Morons!!

Bipolarmedical student, some people have a low tolerance for pain, and I'm one of them. Sorry this happened to you!

Fellow members, how come I seem to be the only one with "0 hugs received" in their profile? Somebody hug me, so it doesn't look like nobody loves me. What about when they shoved that catherer into my bladder, with no warning, no numbing, and most of all---no compassion????

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Dear massage therapists/Reiki therapists:

Stop using me as a venting block. You are here for me, not the other way around.

Dear wellness center clerks:

Are you ever ****ing open?!

Billi

[nonightowl]

Billi, thanks for dropping my visitor page and for your kind words. I was going to leave you one in return, but that option isn't there. So, I'm posting in this thread so you'll see my thanks!

Relieved to get a procedure over yesterday, and the nurses could have been more compassionate. Treat you like a product in an assembly line, even lining all of us up in the prep area, assembly line style. I chatised them for leaving me feeling like no one was around. A curtain was around me, so I couldn't even see if everyone left.

So, I yelled, "Where is everyone? No one to talk to or nothing to look at here. When am I going to get sedation? Can't stand that constant beeping from that machine behind me." THEN they show. One nurse talked to me through the curtain, so I couldn't see her. Just hear her, and it was weird not seeing the person who's only a few feet away.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by nonightowl

Billi, thanks for dropping my visitor page and for your kind words. I was going to leave you one in return, but that option isn't there. So, I'm posting in this thread so you'll see my thanks!

Relieved to get a procedure over yesterday, and the nurses could have been more compassionate. Treat you like a product in an assembly line, even lining all of us up in the prep area, assembly line style. I chatised them for leaving me feeling like no one was around. A curtain was around me, so I couldn't even see if everyone left.

So, I yelled, "Where is everyone? No one to talk to or nothing to look at here. When am I going to get sedation? Can't stand that constant beeping from that machine behind me." THEN they show. One nurse talked to me through the curtain, so I couldn't see her. Just hear her, and it was weird not seeing the person who's only a few feet away.

I have been thru this, too, in the ER and I hated it.

also, I am kind of taking a cooling off from dealing with friending and visitor messaging; that's why I am closing my visitor message and pm box, except to mods. it's not personal. thanks for your thanks.

I did want to send you a message on your visitor, though just to let you know that I do care.

Billi

[Freefall1974]

I would like to apologize for expressing my views from a provider standpoint. I think I got a little defensive. My bad. I also had a bad experience a few weeks ago. I was seeing a specialist and his " Fellow" came in first to go over my test results. She told me the findings were benign and did not require intervention. I did question her on this and she attempted to reassure me. I already knew the findings were NOT benign. When the " real" doctor came in and told me about the findings and that I would need surgery I asked him to explain the diagnosis with his " Fellow".

She will be on her own soon. Had she told a patient the same thing she told me, that patient would have developed a malignancy and died in 6 months!

[Travelinglady]

Freefall, what a scary experience! I'm definitely going to get copies of my medical reports, as I mentioned earlier. I'm tired of my reports being misinterpreted to me by so-called professionals. I know they have a lot of reports to read, but they still need to read them carefully!

And, yes, my pain is certainly not "minor," as far as I am concerned!

Has anyone ever had the experience of being treated like dirt by surgeons when they realize that you don't need an operation yet? I've had three such docs get mad when they see that my problems aren't within their area of expertise. How am I supposed to know unless they read the MRI's? Can't they at least be nice about it?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

It is so scary to feel that you can't trust your provider or their associates. What's it going to be, guys, benign or malignant?

Billi