[Maven]

I'm really worried I'm developing heart disease and diabetes, yet I continue to eat the same (actually, it's been worse in the past few months) and live a sedentary lifestyle. I've always worried, but it's worse now because I'm seeing signs. I have an area of my left thigh that sort of tingles (and once hurt for a few seconds) every now and then, especially if I lay on my stomach. Also, when I'm in the bathroom and turn to wipe (sorry for the imagery), it sometimes feels like something pulls apart in that area...doesn't hurt, just feels weird. I'm worried it could be deep vein thrombosis, although I don't notice any swelling or anything.

The second sign is these white spots on my eyes. I've been meaning to bring them up with my doctor (I have an appointment not tomorrow, but next Friday), but I happened upon an article today that mentioned Xanthelasmata as a sign of heart disease. It mentioned these are white spots on the upper and/or lower eyelids, so I Googled for images and some of them look like what I have. They can be caused by high cholesterol, and I know I have that.

I always intend to make changes, but in the last several years, I've gotten to the point where I'm not optimistic about my future (despite starting college this fall--that's some weird logic), and I just don't want to do the work it takes to make a difference. But what if it's too late? What if I'm destined to have a heart attack or something awful like that? I keep saying, after I eat up the sugary snacks I have left, I'm not going to have any more, except on rare occasion after I get it under control. I am not buying any more, but I hope it's not too late. I'm a fool.

I know I don't want to end up like my mom, who has all kinds of health problems, including heart and kidney problems. I've never smoked, which is the one good thing I can say about my habits. Both my parents smoked and they both paid for it. But my parents gave me too much sugar and soda as a kid, and so I became addicted. I'm not blaming my parents for the changes I didn't make when I was old enough, but I do blame them for starting me down this path. It's up to me to change it, if there's still time. I just feel so crappy.

[-jimi-]

Lipid deposits can be because of high cholesterol, but they can come anyway and people can have high numbers without them. I know it's annoying when something is just greyscale, but that is how life is. We have to learn to live with the risks involved in being alive. We cannot know everything for sure.

When you say you have high cholesterol, did they just toss that at you, or giving you the actual numbers?

[Fresia]

I can understand the fears and yet also know it is truly never too late to make changes. Even with being less than optimistic, which may be something to look into why that is, even the smallest of changes can make a big difference. Then adding more and more changes over time, it makes them easier to deal with and healthier in the process. Meanwhile, please be kind to yourself in doing what you feel is best for you and for your health. It can be hard to break habits but if you put your mind to it, it can be done. You only have one you, please take good care.

[Maven]

Jimrat, the doctor told me I was borderline high with my cholesterol. She didn't give me a number, and I didn't think to ask. Sometimes when I go to a doctor, or a meeting or something like that, I forget things I want to ask or talk about. I have tried writing them down, but my boyfriend says I shouldn't go in with multiple questions, that I should only go for one specific thing. A couple of times, I had a few questions (like 3 or 4), and the doctor ignored half of them. That was a different doctor than I have now.

[Fresia]

Originally Posted by Maven

Jimrat, the doctor told me I was borderline high with my cholesterol. She didn't give me a number, and I didn't think to ask. Sometimes when I go to a doctor, or a meeting or something like that, I forget things I want to ask or talk about. I have tried writing them down, but my boyfriend says I shouldn't go in with multiple questions, that I should only go for one specific thing. A couple of times, I had a few questions (like 3 or 4), and the doctor ignored half of them. That was a different doctor than I have now.

I hope the new doc is better about answering questions. There are times I go in with a lot of questions and I have to write them down myself; I will prioritize them in case the time starts to run really long, but I won't stay with a doc that won't take at least some time to answer them or especially if he/she dismisses them. I need the answers and I hope you won't stop asking if there is something you need to know or need help with.

[-jimi-]

Sometimes the cholesterol thing is just a thing to scare you (into better habits, into taking a very expensive medication), sometimes it's more real. Most docs will not tell you the importance of a high HDL, instead they will come at you with your total cholesterol (which tells you about the same thing as the ratio between your length and shoe size......), or just the LDL. When in fact even LDL isn't just one thing. So, this is why it's so important to have the actual printout of your labs, not just hearing the doc's conclusion about it.