[hamster-bamster]

The following was related to me many years ago as a true story by a woman who taught nursing and had before that been a practicing ER nurse.

A man was admitted into ER, appearing unconscious.

the woman who told me the story and a male doctor began the work up.

She placed the cuff of a BP monitor on the patient's left arm.

BP - zero/zero.

Pulse - zero.

The doctor administered adrenaline to the heart.

The patient started cursing the medical team displaying enviable command of a rich vocabulary of swear words.

It turned out that the patient had a prosthetic arm and was drunk beyond belief.

The BP reading on the prosthetic arm was zero, as would have been expected, and the adrenaline shot delivered the patient from the state of drunken unconsciousness.

I do not know whether this could have happened in reality; guesses?

[Travelinglady]

I could see this event happening in an ER, when the professionals are in a hurry to get the patient diagnosed and treated!

[yellowted]

The patient demanded, "Doc, I just must have a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung transplant, and a heart transplant."
"WHAT?" yelled the doctor. "Tell me, exactly why you think you need all these transplants."
"Well," explained the patient, "my boss told me that I needed to get reorganized."

[yellowted]

A pregnant woman who has been in a coma for six months following an automobile accident has given birth to twins, a baby girl and a baby boy. Awakening from her coma and learning that she had given birth to twins, she asked if names had already been given to them.
"Yes," her doctor informed her, "because we didn't know if you would ever come out of the coma, your brother Henry gave them their names."
"Oh dear God," the woman moaned, "my brother, Henry, is the family idiot. What in the world did he name them?"
"He named the baby girl Denise," answered the physician.
"Well, that's not so bad," the woman replied. "What did he name the baby boy?" The physician responded regretfully, "DeNephew."

[yellowted]

One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor said, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, "Doc, exactly what is my problem?"
The doctor replied, "You're not drinking enough water."

[Jan1212]

I read documentation for a patient today, and it said:

"the patient was given pain medication, and is now free of charge"

it was supposed to be that he was "pain-free"

Lol

[hamster-bamster]

This is not quite healthcare, but related:

"Phoenix Bird has driven the staff of the city crematory completely insane"

[liveforfish]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

The following was related to me many years ago as a true story by a woman who taught nursing and had before that been a practicing ER nurse.

A man was admitted into ER, appearing unconscious.

the woman who told me the story and a male doctor began the work up.

She placed the cuff of a BP monitor on the patient's left arm.

BP - zero/zero.

Pulse - zero.

The doctor administered adrenaline to the heart.

The patient started cursing the medical team displaying enviable command of a rich vocabulary of swear words.

It turned out that the patient had a prosthetic arm and was drunk beyond belief.

The BP reading on the prosthetic arm was zero, as would have been expected, and the adrenaline shot delivered the patient from the state of drunken unconsciousness.

I do not know whether this could have happened in reality; guesses?

I can. You'd think they would check his breathing and check BP on the other arm. LOL.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by liveforfish

I can. You'd think they would check his breathing and check BP on the other arm. LOL.

or a wrist pulse check, right? they'd feel the prosthetic wrist, I think.

[liveforfish]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

or a wrist pulse check, right? they'd feel the prosthetic wrist, I think.

You'd think. Haha

[Arethusa]

Knock Knock?

Who's there?

Hippa.

Hippa who?

Can't tell.

[Perna]