[ace333]

Hello there I'm hoping someone out there can help me in understanding what's happening. First off I'm not the one who has cancer, its my dad. For the events up til now...my dad was found to have a tumor the size of a half dollar on his tongue. He was told they would take I out and 30 lymph nodes just to make sure it didn't spread. After his surgery they ended up taking almost half his tongue and 25 lymph nodes to check. Although he's recovering very quick, left hospital after three days and was OKed to return to work after only a week home. But now he's told me that 2 out of the 25 lymph nodes hey took came back positive for cancer. And he's saying he's going to do radiation and chemothereapy. I'm extremely nervous I have never heard or seen anything good come from chemo in my opinion its going to kill you faster then just letting things go their course. My dad isn't in pain he's not on his last leg but I'm worried if he does chemo he's just going to slip away and die far quicker than anything. I want to talk him out of it BuT I doubt I could. He's very positive that everything's fine...but I don't believe that. What should I think about all of this i mean I'm not so afraid to lose anyone...everyone's gonna go sometime but I don't want to watch him waste away on chemo when he could be enjoying life he has what should I do?????

[sideblinded]

ace333, my mother had cancer and chemo helped her out so much that it extended her life many years. There are many success stories of people beating cancer successfully with chemo. I would allow your dad to choose what he and his doc decides is best. We do not know what is going to happen. As I said many people do recover on chemo. The circumstances for each person is different. The type of cancer has a lot to do with the progression. I wish the best for your dad and I also wish you peace.

[eeyorestail]

ace,

Chemo can have terrible side effects but it doesn't kill. In fact, as sideblinded says, it can extend and even save lives.

It's understandable why a lot of us see chemo as the enemy and not cancer--it takes a while for cancer to have visible negative effects while chemo makes the patient sick right away. But without chemo, the cancer takes over.

Is it possible for you to talk to your dad's doctor about your concerns?

I wish you and your dad well.

[kiwi33]

Hi ace333

The brother of my partner had a very similar experience to your father's - he had a tumour removed from his tongue and lymph node biopsies showed that the cancer had spread to a limited extent.

Because of that his oncologist recommended a combination of chemo and radiation therapy, neither of which he enjoyed.

But (the important bit), that was 10 years ago and he is fine - now he just has a yearly check-up.

I hope that the same will be true for your father.

[ace333]

Thank you very much for your support and help like I said I have never seen good sides to chemo so hopefully everything goes well

[terableemixedup]

I'm very sorry to hear about your father. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 44 and chose to do chemotherapy. And although it was very hard for her at times during her treatment I do believe it was what helped to prolong her life.
My prayers go out to you and your family.