[Marylin]

The doctor weighed me,I gained 28 pounds making my total weight 308 pounds and my blood sugars are 450....absolutely horrendous.I am trying to change what I eat and am having some success but still I am drawn to forbidden foods.It is so hard....also my blood pressure is 148/112 which according to my doctor is really dangerous and could lead to a stroke.

It is depressing me that I don't eat the right foods and I have resolved to from now on eat right...so I am starting this thread so that I can write down what I eat and monitor my own progress.I want to get down to 140 pounds.And I want to get my blood sugars down to 120....wish me luck.I am going to exercise every day too....watch this space...in a year's time what will be the state of play as far as my weight and blood sugars go?

[Wren_]

Great job in making the decision to do this for yourself ... and hopefully by posting here and regularly updating it can help you keep track and be accountable. Are you on bp meds at all? What exercise are you planning to do? And ... how was your fist day?

Marilyn, that's wonderful that you are trying to change your diet. It's so hard, I admit I haven't eaten right for a long time, was diagnosed with type 2 after my second baby. And that's been a lot of years of not trying hard enough. It gets so hard when you know you can't eat certain foods. Instead now, I do indulge in things less often though, than I used to. The idea that certain foods are not "allowed", makes changing the diet so difficult.
Eating is my comfort. Coffee has now been my go to, and its not good either. My blood pressure is high as well, but I'm guilty of not quitting cigs.
Just wondering if you have had your thyroid checked? Mine started that way, thyroid, diabetes, then blood pressure issues. Medications for bipolar or other things, even antidepressants, can effect blood sugars. I wish you the best and hope you continue to let us know how it is going for you!

[Marylin]

Yes,I am on blood pressure medications and I have had thyroid issues since 1997,I am on thyroxine too.The doctor referred me for weight management classes,they are eight weeks long and I start next Monday in the evenings.

The exercise I plan to do is lifting weights,yoga and dancing to my favourite music at home,running or walking up and down the stairs several times a day.

I haven't stuck to the diet strictly yet,ate naughty stuff today but as my first weight management class is Monday 22nd January,I am making that the day I go strict with the diet!

[Gus1234U]

Marilyn, please be nice to your joints as you begin to exercise. jolting 300+ pounds down on a tiny foot bone or ankle joint, let alone knee and hip joints, can be hazardous. the very best exercise is swimming, if you can't do that, then walking. there are a group of PT exercises that strengthen the 'core muscles', the abdomen, etc.

also i found that banning certain foods from my house helps fight impulse eating. meditation was, for me, a kind of bio-feedback that brought my blood pressure down when i could not tolerate the meds. i sincerely hope you have swift and dramatic success, that is so encouraging~!

i really think we need a separate thread for diabetes, since so many psych meds cause weight gain, the first step on the road to diabetes. i am going to request it in the Community forum, if anyone dealing with this life-threatening condition would care to pitch in~

https://forums.psychcentral.com/comm...ml#post5981822

Thanks for updating us, I hope it goes well on Monday! Let us know how you are doing. Gus, that's a very good idea to have it in the Forums, there really are lots of us dealing with this. Excellent advice. Good luck Marilyn!

[Marylin]

I had a good day today,I started the diet and stuck to it...and I went to the cinema complex too a place of temptation but managed to say No to all the bad stuff!

I attended my first weight management class,I found it really helpful with lots of new stuff about how we can set ourselves up to fail on the diets,cognitive limits and habits and how to break them.The practitioner had a massive electronic pair of scales and weighed us all.To my surprise my doctor's scales which weighed me at 327 pounds are wrong I actual weigh 297 pounds,which is 135kg instead of 146kg.So I am happy about that.After I had a coffee at the cafe ignored the usual cakes and chocolate bars and I saw a film that I enjoyed.I got home just before midnight and here I am updating you.

I am hugely optimist that I can make the lifestyle changes that are necessary to lose a lot of weight and also other good new is that my blood sugar came down today...from 270 to 180...and for a long time before today it was 400.So that is all going in the right direction.

I will update after next week's weight management class.keep on keeping on I suppose!

That's a great start Marilyn! it must have felt good to see you weighed less than you thought. Good for you resisting at the cinema... it's so hard, for me anyways, all this stuff I'm not supposed to be eating.

I'm interested in knowing how the weight management class explains the habits and how to break them. Keep being optimistic, and I'm glad your blood sugar levels were down considerably.

[Marylin]

Hi disparaissaint,

Yes it was a pleasant surprise to be 10kg less than what the doctor's scales showed.

Again today I stuck to the diet...I am feeling ok and I don't feel deprived.

About habits it was explained to us that habits are maintained due to,enjoyment,comfort,perceived time,ease,social norms and environment.Habits happen without us thinking about them consciously,we are triggered subconsciously to repeat behaviours,usual there is a trigger at a certain time that makes us reach for a reward.Triggers are a certain location,the time,emotion and repetition.We can interrupt habits,we can train ourselves to notice triggers and stop ourselves.

That is what we were taught in weight management class about habits and habitual behaviours.I have been using this to stop habitual eating and so far it is working!Yay!

My blood sugars are still down to around 200 and I stopped one of my diabetic medications of which I was taking 4 a day.

So the diet has been going good.I am feeling a bit sad and a bit lonely though,i am missing my niece who is miles away in Los Angeles at UCLA studying,she will be there for six months,so missing her!I have a full day tomorrow so can keep busy to forget about being lonely and missing her.

Thanks to all of you here for your support.xxxMarylinxxx

I'm happy for you that you are sticking to the diet and don't feel deprived. That makes sense about how habits are formed. It is a subconscious thing, if I think about it. I'm going to try to quit cigarettes, and it is a thing I do not just out of habit but certain feelings and situations make me want it all the more.
I get carried away with sweets at times and it is because I feel sleepy after having them. Thanks for updating and explaining your weight management class a bit more. Glad you were able to stop one medication. I wish you the best.

[Marylin]

I am still sticking to the diet.Today was hard I have a cold and virus throat infection,I was told we nee to keep off paracetamol so that the high temperature kills the virus but I had to take some cos I felt bad my throat hurt and my head.I slept all day.
I can't go out tomorrow like I planned cos I feel so bad and need to rest.
Also my sister had her gall bladder operation today and I was worried about her.

I am a lot happier about the food choices that I am making....the only sugar I am having is the natural sugar in fruit..I hope that I am well enough to go to class on Monday,I should be,the paracetamol seems to be helping...

I checked up on my mother by phone...she is ok the carers are looking after her and the neighbour pops in four times a day to put her eye lubrication drops in.
I am anxious today but I think it is all that is going on and having a cold doesn't help.

[Marylin]

I have had a terrible day,slept through most of it,the cold kicked in big time,heady,throat sore ,coughing,nos runny,temperature hot and cold...been taking paracetamol.
The diet is still on track haven't felt like eating much anyway.It feels lonely being alone and ill...I can't wait to feel better and get out...

[Marylin]

Today was another nasty day I have had a severe cold,headache,runny nose,sneezing,fever,chills,the only plus the sore throat seems to be better...but I feel very ill still.I am going to miss weight management class tomorrow night on account of I have severe sweats and runny nose and I feel I don't have the energy to attend.
Not a great start but still it is what it is,my moods are up and down and mood swings are my worst symptom can lead to severe mental states so I must look after myself!

My appetite hasn't been good I managed fruit,toast and soup today...I need a proper meal but no energy to make it as usual.Well worse than usual.I am watching an ice dancing competition on tv.

[Marylin]

Last night I was up and down feeling lousy,today too I panicked and also lost my temper.
I stopped a blood sugar tablets last week and was eating too much fruit and carbs whatever was available being ill and all,it sent my sugars high,I only realised this afternoon and by that time I felt awful.I ate a meal and three hours later measured it was high so took the medication that I had phased out, hopefully that will help me feel much better.
I could do with home help with chores and making meals but by the time they come out and assess and set it up I will be recovering again.My sister offered me money to help out but I told her it won't be set up in time for when I need it.

I decided that I am going stir crazy stuck indoors for a week so I am going out tomorrow to get a meal at the pub and have a coffee,if I can't watch a film at least I will get out,it will be tiring sitting through a two hour film.

I feel like screaming like in that picture The Scream,like I am going to go crazy,I can't handle the illness sugars and the common cold,I don't think it is flu,but even so it is an extreme cold.I need hugs and words of support folks..please be here for me?I have had to cancel my weight management class tonight..I got a message to the facilitator.

Stuck indoors inactive hurts I managed a walk in the garden and left the patio door open to let some air in...I need exercise can't muster the energy though.I feel like I am at death's door....having mental health issues doesn't help nor does feeling isolated.

You always have us here at psych central. Not being able to get outside for a walk must be difficult. you are doing the best you can. Maybe you should keep whatever medicine you are prescribed for the diabetes going. What does the doctor recommend?
Hope you feel better soon. Sorry you didn't get to your weight management class.

Hi Marylin. I just came across this thread. I'm a diabetic as well. I hope that your cold is over soon.

[Marylin]

Hi@Forwhatitsworth2u and dissparraisant, I did go back on the tablets as prescribed and felt better.It was actually flu virus that I'd caught.I am feeling better today,hopefully tomorrow I will be almost back to myself.I got out today went up to my mum's,it felt bright outside like I was looking at it through new eyes.Having the flu and being isolated made me more determined to seek out new friendships and to love and be loved,I have had barriers up my whole life against this but I have nothing to lose all to gain.

Glad that you are feeling better. Illness can cause our blood sugars to rise. I love your upbeat spirit!

[Gus1234U]

so many positive things begin when you drop those pounds~! i remember when i could walk without hurting. i had a med that helped me loose about 60 lbs, but the doc stopped it before i was ready to hold my own.
Congrats~! and keep up the good work.

[Marylin]

Had a bad day with the diet today,got over the flu though.I had a toastie with cheese and onion for lunch and fish chips and mushy peas for dinner and I had soda which is a big diet no no.I will go back on track tomorrow,just needed to buy out and not prepare food today.
I had a good day saw the Maze Runner film at the cinema and I really enjoyed it.

Fish and chips do sound good. I'm happy that you are over the flu.

Tomorrow is another day. Hugs.

[Marylin]

It has been a while since I posted here.I have been anxious this week because I have to apply for benefits for financial support and have forms to fill in which I will do this Friday and also I have to depend on my doctor to do supporting evidence.I have until 14 March to send it all in,so it is a worry.

The bad news I haven't got my blood sugars down very much and at times they are still too high.The good new is what they are teaching me in weight management class is working,I am five weeks in and I have lost 14kg so far,which I am so pleased about and that includes treats on some days.I am going for the Turtle approach which is slow ,steady weight loss rather than the Rabbit which tries to lose weight fast and ends up losing and gaining in a vicious cycle.So losing weight,I haven't even incorporated exercise yet so I am going to do that aiming for twice a week,so that should help me lose even more.

I have been struggling in other ways,I have been anxious,worried and depressed and have to be careful cos I get exhausted then go into mental decline and there is a danger of burnout....I still get lonely,feel self hate,feel ugly and unattractive but that doesn't matter as I have barriers up to letting anyone love me anyway.Cos of past abuse emotional involvement doesn't feel safe and I fear losing control in a relationship.Problems I hope to address when I start one to one CBT which I am due to do soon ,I was told there are two more people ahead of me on the waiting list.

So that is where I am currently at!Take good care folks.

[Marylin]

I had weight management class yesterday.I got weighed and lost another kg,128kg down from 129kg,I started at 135kg.The facilitator said it was good weight loss that is about where I should be at this stage he said and to keep it up.So altogether that is a 7kg loss from when I started,I got it wrong last time when I thought it was a 14 kg loss.But slow and steady is good.My diabetes levels have come down quite a bit too down from 340 to 216.It can do with coming down more...it is a work in progress.

I am stressed out cos I have benefit claim forms to send back and am waiting for a letter from the doctor....worried it won't be done in time.doctor promised the letter for this thursday,I can't relax until I get that letter and send the form off.

I am so tired today.I went to collect my money,went to the bank and to the food hall for some shopping.I was worried about a homeless man how he coped when it was freezing,I felt guilty that I wasn't able to invite him into my home with his dog.I felt like a bad person not living God's love...then I realised that I was bad and really selfish cos partly I wanted to be good in God's eyes,but I couldn't let this stranger into my home with his dog...my whole body/mind repulsed at the thought..so there it is I am evil and am trying to buy God's love.Do you think God knows how evil and ugly I am and loves me anyway?I found the homeless man today where he usually sits outside the food hall.He said he got by over the snow period by finding shelter where he could.I was relieved that he and his dog were ok,I gave him my sleeping bag which I have had a long time but never used much and some cash.He seemed happy with that.I always give him some cash when I see him.I hate myself now whatever I give it is never enough to take away my self hatred or stop God knowing my real motives.I do care but not enough.I feel there is someone missing from my life.Me!

[Marylin]

I have another weight management class tomorrow.I don't think I have lost anything this week.Last week I lost 3kg down from 128kg to 125kg,that is going in the right direction.I don't know if I have lost more this week I'll have to wait till tomorrow night to see.
Tomorrow the sessions repeat we did weeks 1-10 and I missed a few so I can attend the same sessions again on their next run which starts tomorrow with another week 1.I decided to repeat them and the facilitator said it was ok to,then I can still get weighed on the industrial electronic scales that he brings to the sessions.

All in all the losing weight is going well but the blood sugar levels are still a problem.I am failing to measure regularly and need help to get the readings lower than they are,I am at a loss as to how to do that,I am going to wait until my benefits are sorted cos they are more of a worry right now but I will have to get on top of my sugars in the long run.
I have lost 10kg so far which is 22 pounds or a stone and a half.

[Marylin]

I went to my weight management class tonight and it is good news,I lost another 4 kilograms,down from 125kg to 121 kg,so going in the right direction.
So far in 10 weeks I have lost 14kg.

I won't go to next weeks session cos I have already covered the topic,energy balance and habit formation,and the following week it isn't on cos it is Easter bank holiday.But April 9th is the next one we are doing the topic Carbohydrates which I will attend cos I missed it last time round.Hopefully I will lose quite a bit more by then,I am hoping to tweak my food choices so that some of the less healthy meals are replaced by healthier choices and also I am hoping to incorporate exercise.I will update here again on 9th April unless I need to express stuff before then.