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Veteran Member
Member Since Dec 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 413
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#1
Lately I just feel like the most horrible mother there is. Right this moment, I'm online chatting with all of you, while my daughter sits downstairs watching a movie all by herself.
I've been unemployed since January and you would think I would use that time to spend quality time with my daughter. Nope. I lay in bed all morning until maybe 11:00 or noon. She watches PBS all morning, then plays with her toys on her own. Then I might play with her a little bit, mabye take her to the park, but then it's naptime, and then dinner time....we never really have any "fun" time together. And I haven't really been teaching her anything. We don't sit down and do a little lesson or anything like that. She's learning, and she's a smart kid, but I feel like I should be doing more. She just ends up watching way too much TV. I feel like she was better off at daycare every day than sitting at home rotting with me. The thing is, I *know* what I need to do, but I don't actually *DO* it. Why am I like that? I don't know. It's the same in other areas of my life - like weight loss - I know I need to just put down the fork and pick up the dog's leash and go for a walk, but do I do that? No. With my husband, I know I need to pick up around the house and do little nice things for him and it would make him appreciate me, but do I do that? No. Why don't I do what I know I should do? How can I be a better mother? __________________ Martina 30 year old wife & mom to a 5 year old girl Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 51
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#2
Hey don't be so hard on yourself. It's not the amount of time that you spend but the kind of time that you spend with your daughter. My daughter is now 17 getting ready to turn 18 and I don't remember alot of the things we "did" together when she was little. I was a single mom until she was 4 and unemployed. When I would go to the grocery store I would make it a game, like counting eggs (checking for broken ones) or trying new foods at the deli counter. I never really even taught my daughter to cook cause I hate to clean the mess and I feel bad about that. As for your home, giver yourself credit for what you accomplish even if it is small (folding a load of laundry). I am bipolar 2, and I have good intentions when it comes to cleaning or organizing my house. As for my daughter, she left me a note that was about an english assignment. In it she wrote that I was her hero because I was there for her and supported her in what her decisions were. She just had a baby in Dec, married her boyfriend and father of her child in Mar graduated high school in May.
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
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#3
Hi Martina,
we've talked before about how to entertain your little one. I appreciate your honesty with this situation and I agree that you should be doing a little more with her - that's my honest opinion. It sounds like you have great intentions, knowing what you should do and it's sounds like typical procrastination and motivation difficulties. I think you should make a list of all the things you wish to accomplish in a day and see how that goes. If you find you're spending too much time on this site - then tell yourself that you won't go on, until you've accomplished things on the list. It's a form of self discipline. A little TV is okay, but you don't want to make it like a babysitter for her. Make a schedule and really try to be present while interacting with her - it really will be fun. You can also adopt the attitude from the NIKE ad and say to yourself 'just do it". The other poster is right, put your daughter on the top of your 'to do' list before cleaning the house. Thanks for sharing and being so honest - it's takes alot of courage to admit your short comings. All the best to you. __________________ This is our little cutie Bella *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Dec 2008
Location: Oregon
Posts: 413
15 |
#4
Well, this morning was something. When I got up I got out her construction paper and scissors and glue and markers and we made a little house, cut out a big circle, and played with stickers. Then she started "drawing names"!!!! (writing letters) I am so excited.
But that only lasted 30 minutes...and then she wanted to watch Scooby Doo. And I let her. Sigh. If I could just figure out how to fill the day with fun, educational stuff. I think I'll google preschool supplies & lesson plans and see what I find. __________________ Martina 30 year old wife & mom to a 5 year old girl Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder |
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
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#5
Hi,
good for you Martina(that's my daughters name too). I remember the days when I would make vegetables out of construction paper and pretend to make vegetable soup. Get her some shapes and playdo and we used to make our own (kids love to do that). If I find the recipe, I'll PM it to you. Go to the dollar store they have lots of crafty things cheap. Blocks and chalkboards are also fun. You can also get her some pre-k workbooks to get her ready for school. It doesn't have to be non-stop entertainment, just a few things through out the day. Good luck. __________________ This is our little cutie Bella *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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#6
I've done some research and heres what I put together.
Quote:
thats from a website i googled but those things would be GREAT to have on hand. Keep in mind depending her age you need to watch for choking hazards or just "mom i just swallowed a "something". You dont need a trip to the H to get an xray to see if that metal car or button will work through. Include pencils and pens, notebooks, stationery, and a wide variety of papers and envelopes. You also can include book-making materials such as staplers, tape, glue, and book covers Grocery receipts, coupons, and empty food boxes can be used when playing store. A small note pad can become a waitress's order pad, and junk mail and old greeting cards are perfect for playing post office Such materials can include magnetic letters, alphabet books, puzzles, letter and number stamps, papers, pens, books, and magazines songs, fingerplays, poems, games, and stories with alliteration, rhyme, repetition and patterns to help develop the child's phonemic awareness construction paper printer paper - plain, colored poster board white board, chalk board cardboard pencils pens markers white board markers crayons chalk paint paint brushes tape glue scissors stapler string, yarn rubber bands clay and/or play doh food coloring drop cloth foam rubber styrofoam stickers, Colorforms pipe cleaners (chenille stems) cork glitter stencils beads buttons feathers rubber stamps cotton balls toothpicks felt pieces craft sticks magnetic tape wax paper foil clear contact paper paper plates, cups puppets clothing for dress-up costumes, masks sheets cardboard boxes musical instruments sponges - different shapes and sizes miniature figures - dolls, men, animals... paper clips - different sizes and colors books, magazines to cut pictures out of building toys - Lego, K'nex, Lincoln Logs... rocks - different shapes, sizes, and colors wood blocks, pieces - different shapes and colors creativity software - drawing, stamping, building, making... drawing toys - Spirograph, Etch-a-Sketch, Magna Doodle... ______________________________________________________________ Seasonal Ideas Check back frequently because these ideas and links change every month. Summer is Almost Here!" A Very Special Tie- Buy a plain white or light colored tie and let your preschooler decorate it with fabric paint. Dad will be proud to wear this unique creation. Painted Umbrella- Using Fabric Paint, let your child paint on a dollar-store umbrella. This works well even if they just drizzle the paint in colorful raindrops all over the umbrella. Allow an extra day to dry with the umbrella fully open if you can. I Love You - This project is great for Dad (or Mom). Ask your child "Why do you love Dad," or "Why do you love Mom." Write their answers down and let them decorate the paper with crayons, markers, or paint. You can use this idea to create a bookmark, a place mat, a card, or just a special note to leave as a surprise for Dad on his special day. Painted Flower Pots- Flowers don't have to be just for Mom!. Let your child finger-paint a plain flower pot and seal it with clear acrylic finish spray. Then help your child plant Dad's favorite flowers in it. More Great Gift ideas. These sites list some great ideas for creative, homemade gifts. PreschoolRock This site includes some project ideas for Father's Day. Craft Library: Father's Day This link has a lot of great craft ideas that can be used for Father's Day gifts. Father's Day Crafts and Activities - EnchantedLearning.com Father's Day Crafts and Activities for kids. Kindergarten, preschool, and elementary school crafts. Make wonderful, simple crafts with things found around the house. Arts and Crafts ideas Get out some paint, glue, scissors, and anything else you can find. The messier the better...cut... Modern Art - Find a stiff piece of cardboard (or you can use a paper plate) and collect some small objects from around the house. Some suggestions include milk jug lids, juice lids, paper-clips, cut up straws and bits of foil. Let your child arrange them and glue them on. Mural Painting - Tape a very large sheet of paper to the wall. Get out crayons, markers, and paint. Cover the whole sheet and use it to decorate a wall in your child's room or somewhere else in the house. Shape Pictures - This is an easy craft your child can do entirely on his or her own. Cut out a variety of shapes ahead of time (circles, squares, triangles, stars, ovals, rectangles, etc.) Give them a sheet of paper and some glue. They can arrange them in any number of different ways to create pictures and designs. Finger Puppets - Make fun puppets out the socks your child has out-grown. Decorate them with markers, yarn, foam sheets, and scraps of fabric. Make your own Puzzle - Have your child make a collage on cardboard using magazine pictures or printed pictures of your family. Cover the collage with clear contact paper and cut into puzzle piece shapes. Your child will have a blast assembling the puzzle over and over again. Make your own Volcano - Classic, but still fun - Make it as simple as a juice can, or paper-mache - a bit if vinegar, food coloring and baking soda and have some fun. Fun outdoor activites Scavenger Hunt - Go for a walk around the neighborhood, in a park, or just in you own back yard. Take along a list of things you might find (a rock, a leaf, three sticks, an acorn, etc) and a paper bag. See if you can collect them all. Photo Scavenger Hunt - This is a variation of the activity above. If your child has their own camera or you have one you don't mind them using take it along instead of the paper bag. Make a list of things to find and snap pictures of what you see. Cloud watching - On a nice day have a snack outside and lie down in the grass to watch some clouds. You may be surprised at the things your child will see in them. Tickle Tag - This is just like regular tag except whoever gets tagged gets tickled. Kickball - Collect as many balls as you can find. Use balls of all sizes and types. Line them up in the yard and let your child go from ball to ball seeing how far they can kick them. Obstacle Course - Arrange lawn chairs, balls, cardboard boxes, and patio furniture around the yard. Have a starting point and a finish. Then let your child crawl under, climb over, and run around the objects. Great Activities for Indoors Fishing - Cut a lot of pieces of paper into fish shapes. Write some quick activities on the back (such as "touch something blue", "sing your ABCs", "jump up and down", "run around the room" or "clap your hands"). Put a paper-clip on each fish. Then tie a strong magnet onto a piece of string and let your preschooler "go fishing" over the back of the couch or chair. Counting - Go through the whole house and count things. Count your windows, your doorknobs, your cups, your canned goods, your bookshelves or anything else you can think of. Sandbox - This activity can be done with a lot of different things or all of them combined. Fill a large bowl or box with flour, puffed rice or wheat cereal, uncooked rice, or oatmeal. Play in the bowl or box with shovels, toy cars, cups, and other sand toys. Hide the toy - Pick a favorite toy, have your child leave the room and hide it. when they find it have them hide it from you. To make the game more interesting you can play it at night and find the toy with flashlights. Treasure Hunt -Hide a special surprise somewhere in the house. Then write out a series of clues (one clue points you to the next)to lead your child to it. Hide the clues around the house as well. Then run around to find the surprise. Ways for Preschoolers to Help Out. Start out by making a chore chart for your child. Write the things the kids do to help out a have a spot next to each one for stickers. Each time they help they get stickers. Some things you can put on the chart are: Feed pets. (with help) Pick up toys. This can be more enjoyable if you make it into a game. Race to who can pick up the most toys or set a timer and have your child try to beat their own time. Sort the clothes. They can sort them by color before they are washed and by who they belong to when they are done. Wash Bath Toys. Fill a bowl or the sink with water and dish soap, give your child a washcloth and let them scrub their toys. This will keep them busy while you tackle other chores. Help with Dinner. Young children can wash vegetables, set the table, put salads together, and open boxes. Okay, the next part is long: (need to put it in a sep post.) |
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Martina
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#7
LANGUAGE AWARENESS
To encourage letter recognition, listening skills, creative expression, and following directions, try the following: · Read often to your child. Take advantage of when your child is willing to cuddle and listen to a story. · Start with board books, which have cardboard pages, simple text and brightly colored pictures. They are just the right size for the very young. · Talk about how a book is made. Show the front and back and explain that stories have a beginning and an end. Discuss the pictures. Let your young one help you hold it and turn the pages. · After reading the story, talk about it. Let your child tell you the story! As you read a story, see if your child can predict what will happen next. If the story has repetitious lines, have your child join in. · On different days, choose a letter of the alphabet. Look for that letter in street signs, on buildings, on items in the kitchen cupboards, while shopping, reading books and magazines. Ask what the letter sound like and looks like. Draw it in sand or flour. · Take an old magazine and cut out letters to spell your child’s name. · Print your child’s name and let him/her find and match the letters by using letter magnets or alphabet blocks. Make your own letter flash cards. · Take construction paper and using glue, print your child’s name. Sprinkle glitter over it. Once dry, let your child feel his/her name as well as see it spelled. · Talk about favorite animals or a pet. Spell the animal’s name. Talk about what it eats, where it lives, how it moves. Imitate what sounds it makes. · Sing a favorite song; change the lyrics of the song (instead of 5 little monkeys, sing 5 little teddy bears). Make up a song. · Use a play telephone and talk to each other. · On a special day, call a grandparent and let them talk with your child. IMAGINATION, MEMORY, SPATIAL AWARENESS, CAUSE AND EFFECT · Use paper lunch bags to make puppets. · Pretend to be an animal. Pretend to walk like it and sound like it. · Give your child a straw. Ask what else it could be used for. (wand, fishing pole, musical baton, etc.) · Make a silly wig by attaching crepe paper or yarn to a band of paper or a paper plate that has its middle cut out. Ask your child who might have such hair. · Cover a table with a sheet or blanket and pretend it is a cave, house, airplane, etc. · Create funny creatures using toothpicks and marshmallows or cubes of cheese. · Have a pretend tea party, decide who will be invited and what will be served? · Form a marching band using kitchen pots and pans, bowls and spoons for instruments. March through the house. · At one of your meals, leave something off the table that is always there and see if your child can figure out what it is. · Make cards with pictures of your family members. Name the family members. · Use 3x5” cards and make sets of matching pictures or stickers. Mix them up, turn them over and have your child find the matching sets. · Make a sound and have your child guess what it is (train whistle, lion growling, etc.) · Lay out different objects and have your child look at them. Cover them up and then see how many items your child can remember. · With your child, construct a train from old boxes. Talk to your child about what kind of train it is and where it is going. · Stack bowls, measuring cups or boxes so they fit into each other. · Compare lengths of different objects and talk about which is longer and shorter. · Compare weights of different objects and talk about which is lighter and heavier SIZE AND SHAPE RECOGNITION · Look for different shapes in books and magazines. · Cut a sponge into different shapes and let your child make pictures or designs using a stamp pad and the sponge shape. Different colored stamp pads are ideal for this activity. · If making pancakes, pour the batter into different shapes. · Walk in a circle, in a square, in a triangle. Ask which way is easier. · Find different shapes while in the grocery store, on a drive, while walking outside, or in your house. · When making your child’s sandwich, use a cookie cutter to create different shapes. · Buy or make a shape sorter cube. Have your child decide which shapes go through which holes. COLOR RECOGNITION · Read a book such as Brown Bear, Brown Bear by Bill Martin or Mouse Paint by Ellen Stoll Walsh, and talk about the different colors. Ask what colors mix to make purple, green or orange? · While in a parking lot, have your child point to different colored vehicles (a red car, a blue truck, a white van, etc.) · Talk about the colors you see while in the store, when picking out an outfit to wear, and while making/eating meals. · Take pieces of color paper and print the names of the color on the paper. · Arrange several different pieces of colored paper and have your child match a toy to the sheet of paper (Example: red car to red paper, yellow crayon to yellow paper). · Take a round lid and draw a line of circles with edges touching. Let your child make each circle a different color. Add antennae and legs. Now you have a caterpillar! SORTING AND PATTERNING · Have your child help you sort the laundry. · On a walk, pick up stones or leaves, etc. and sort them by shape or size. · Let your child help you set the table. He/she can sort the silverware. · Sort loose change (coins) with your child. · Gather some shoes, slippers and boots. These can be sorted by type of shoe, who the shoe belongs to, size of shoe, color of shoe, etc. Be creative and add some doll shoes. · Sort other clothing such as mittens, hats, tshirts. · Line items in a pattern and see if your child can repeat the pattern (for example: cup, spoon , napkin, cup spoon, napkin) · Cut shapes (circles, squares, and triangles) from colored construction paper. Your child can sort by shape and color. Make it harder by cutting small, medium and large sizes of the shapes. Sort by shape, size and color. · Mix different kinds of pasta in a large bowl. Let your child sort the various pastas. · Blindfold your child and let him/her smell different foods. As if he/she can identify the smells? Try tastes. · Make flash cards with words and pictures that can be combined into compound words. (gold, fish, bowl, sea, shell, shore, tooth, brush, pick, eye, lid, air, plane, butter, fly, dog, house, etc.) Experiment by putting different combinations together. · Play “Follow the Leader”, “Mother May I”, or “Simon Says” · Have your child tell you what his/her favorite part of the day was. · Make rattles from envelopes, cups/lids, and boxes. Listen to the different sounds they make. · Listen to sounds inside or outside the house. Ask what is making those sounds. Have your child make up a story about one of the sounds. · Have your child make up a storybook. Instead of coloring all the pictures, make collages using different textures such as wax paper, fur, velvet, feathers, sandpaper, corrugated paper, corduroy. · Read stories that rhyme. See if your child can predict what the next rhyming word will be. · While waiting in a line, sing a favorite song · Look at a family photo album and tell stories about the pictures. · As the seasons change, talk about other changes that occur. Ask what happens outside, what happens inside, what different clothes are worn. · Play “I Spy”. · Make cookies, or something to eat and read the recipe together. Talk about how to mix the ingredients and what order they are added. · Make a shopping list together. When at the grocery store, talk about shapes, textures and colors of items. · Don’t be afraid to use many different words with your child. Most children enter school knowing between 3,000 to 5,000 words. You will be the one who teaches the most words to your child! COUNTING AND NUMBER RECOGNITION · With your child, count how many fingers and toes he/she has. Play “This little piggy went to market”. Count other body parts…nose, ears, etc. · When your child is brushing his/her teeth, count how many teeth he/she has. · Look for different numbers on houses, street signs, license plates, buildings, and in stores, books and magazines. · Talk about how many people are in your family and in your extended family? · Use blocks to build a tower. Count the number of blocks it takes. · Write the numbers 1-10, or cut them out. Glue them on paper. Have your child count items (blocks, shoes, cereal, etc.) and place them by the correct number. · When grocery shopping, have your child help you count the number of items you are buying…the number of apples, boxes of cereal, etc. BODY AWARENESS All children need to develop: eye-hand and foothand coordination, fine and gross motor coordination, as well as a sense of balance, tactile stimulation, creative movement, and sensory exploration. The following can be used to promote these skills: · Show how to clap. Advance clapping to a rhythm while counting. · Point to different body parts while playing in front of a mirror. Make funny faces. Take turns winking. · Play peek-a-boo and hide and seek. · Tip-toe, march, leap, hop, take giant steps. · Balance on one foot. Practice skipping. · Hold a hoola hoop vertically and have your child crawl through it. Lay the hoola hoop on the floor and have your child walk over it, jump over it, leap over it. · Put a large sheet of paper on the floor. Have your child lay on it and draw an outline around him/her. Together, add physical details (nose, eyes, hair, and clothes. · Draw pictures together. Use crayons on paper, chalk on the driveway or sidewalk. Trace around leaves or common household items like a spoon or make rubbings with a piece of paper and the flat side of a crayon. · String pasta, cereal or cut-up straws to make necklaces. · Pick up different toys or objects with tongs. · Feel different textures around you and talk about them. Bowls are smooth, sandpaper is rough, a stuffed animal or pet is furry, satin is soft, etc. Walk barefoot on carpeting, grass, and concrete. · Play Simon Says with body parts. · Draw a blank face and let your child fill in the features. · Trace your child’s shoes or feet to make “footsteps” from colored paper. Lay them in a pattern and have your child follow the footsteps. Have your child name the colors as they step on them · Use or make play dough. Squeeze it, roll it, make shapes. Everything in this post comes from the following link(which is a PDF) http://www.michigan.gov/documents/ha...Me_80204_7.pdf |
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Martina
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#8
WHEW! haha. That should get you off to a good start.
Here are some more, while im on the ball, not really about play and such, but more about bonding, which will help you get motivated to interact with your child more! How to connect with your child Use these strategies to build a bond. Share This Article By Invest in Kids Bonding with your preschooler These are the years when your child really seems to be enjoying life and is even more fun to be around. He thinks you're pretty terrific and wants to be like you, following you around and copying you. So setting a good example for your child becomes even more important at this age. Try these tips to enrich the bond with your preschooler: • Be a model for good problem solving, negotiating and understanding of others, as well as all the other skills you want your child to have and ways you want your child to behave. Teach and lead instead of using force – but expect what's appropriate for your child's age, not perfection. • Praise his efforts. Each time he learns a new skill, right from the earliest days, let him know how well he has done. • Play with your child. When your child plays, he is practicing skills in every area of his development. He thinks, solves problems, talks, moves, cooperates and makes moral judgments. Play helps to get him ready for the real world. Playing with you has the added benefit of cementing your bond. • Make the time to have a one-to-one talk. Don't try to talk in the middle of family confusion. Find a time and place where the two of you won't be interrupted. • Don't interrupt when your child is speaking. The better you listen, the more likely you are to respond in a way that is helpful. • Express your love for your child in words and actions. Knowing he's a good, lovable person is the most important way to build your child's self-esteem. Young children are consummate imitators, constantly looking to their parents for guidance in how to handle life’s challenges. As the parent of a preschooler, being a model for your child is important. To be an excellent model, parents must know themselves – their emotions, values and beliefs – and how they appear to others in the family, on the job and in their community. Canadian Living : Family : Parenting : How to connect with your child http://www.canadianliving.com/family...connect_with_y... 1 of 2 09/06 and this link is great, it talks about emotional warmth and bonding(you probably know some but i like rereading it from time to time to remind me) http://www.mental-health-matters.com...article&id=254 http://www.buzzle.com/articles/how-t...-children.html Quote:
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lynn P., Martina
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Legendary
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 12,269
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#9
Hi Rainbowzz,
all I have to say in WOW and double WOW for those those awesome posts. You're a wealth of information and it's amazing how you came up with all the ideas. I can see you're prepared for when your son gets older. Thanks from one mom to another. __________________ This is our little cutie Bella *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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