Don't Know How Much More I Can Take!!!!!

Oh god!! I am so in a bad mood at the moment. I actually woke up in a bad mood. I won't be getting a refill on my meds until later on today. I haven't had them for a few days and I have been flying off the handle, feeling sucidal, etc. And my 3-year-old daughter is just adding fuel to the fire. She won't obey me or listen to a word I say. It's as if I'm not even in the room. This is really hard on me when she does this. She gets angry, throws things, screams at the top of her lungs as if someone is killing her everytime I tell her to do something. This makes me feel like I'm not a good parent and a failure because I can't control her. This frustrates me even more and I wind up screaming at the top of my lungs or crying. Sometimes I even have thoughts of hurting her. I am sick and tired of this crap. It's bad enough I don't have my meds but does she have to make things worse? Can someone in my shoes please help me out or give me some advice. I'm at wits end at the moment and can't think straight for ****.

((((((((((((( uglykidjoe )))))))))))))))))))

I have been in your shoes, try to remember to breath and keep in mind that not having your meds is really making it harder for you to handle this situation.
It sounds like you need a discipline plan, sticker charts can really be helpful for young children. The idea is to reward good behavior and teach the child that bad behavior is unacceptable.
Try to make some time for yourself too, that is very important.

If you was a single person with no responsabilitys I wouldnt be saying this.

However you are not, you are a parent of a young child. It is your responsability to take your meds, if you forget you cant allow yourself to be distressed in front of your child.

She shouldnt be a side effect of you not taking meds.

I am sorry if this comes across as harsh but I have been in your situation with my elder two lads and as far as I am concerned I failed as a parent. I have four little ones now and I will do my best to give them the childhood they deserve.

I know its not easy to walk away when you are about to lose it but its the only choice you have if you want to succede as a parent.

If you are in danger of hurting your child, you need to call for someone to help you, NOW. I really am thinking of your child right now, she comes first. (sorry) Your mental condition for whatever reason is NO EXCUSE for harming a child (no matter how she is behaving) Don't you think she is probably responding to you this way because of the way you are being?

Children are very perceptive, more so than many people give then credit for. They feed off of your energy and your mood. It's not a surprise if you woke up in a bad mood that she's doing her best to try your patients. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute, think of how frustrated you are and you KNOW the reason, she has no idea why what's going on. She only knows that mommy's not acting normally and it's quite possible she's scared and acting out. You've described yourself throwing a fit and yet you seem to expect her to behave better than you are, this is illogical.

Call a family member, friend, social services, or CPS. Anyone... when it gets too much you have to be able to walk away to calm down while she is still safely taken care of. Let someone you know that you are at your breaking point and need help. I don't know the nature of your illness that you require medication, but social services have programs available to help "at risk" parents. Sometimes it's just providing daycare for the afternoon to give you a break, others its parenting classes. They didn't come with a user's manual and we've all been overwhelmed at one time or another. Please use resources available to you.

These frustrating days are a part of parenthood and it's very important not only for your own sanity, but for your daughter's well being that you learn some coping skills.