My house of cards is falling

This will be a pretty long post so please bear with me. I thought about putting this in women's issues because I know part of the problem on my end is that when I get my period my emotions are so out of whack.

I just cannot seem to talk to my 18 year old daughter without it turning into a fight. I don't want to fight with her so lately I've been expressing my opinion and saying "I'm not going to fight with you about this, this is how I feel."

So here's the flair up last night, most of her friends work afternoon shift so they do things very late at night. In the past this has never been a problem because she too worked afternoon shift.

She's been late for work four times this summer. She's always been so responsible that I just don't know how to deal with this behavior. She was late twice for going out with her friends and oversleeping (30/15 minutes late), once when the power went out in the middle of the night (10 minutes late), and another when unannounce road construction made her 5 minute commute 20 because she had to drive 10 miles in the opposite direction to get to the highway and come back (2 minutes late). Granted I may have been late too if I worked earlier on those last two days. It's pretty common for people to be late there, but I don't approve of that behavior at all. So when she came to me last night and said it was a friend's birthday and she was going over there at 10 pm I was not pleased.

I know there are some other issues going on at work for her too. One manager is a witch and when she's having a bad day she takes it out on everyone. You know it's coming so it's expected.

But she's lost a friend she's had for 6 years this summer, the manager that makes the schedule. When she came home from college there were rumors that this girl (married with a baby) was fooling around with another guy that works there. She never believed them, just thought it was small town gossip.

To make a long story short she overheard him talking at a party and texted her friend to let her know that the source of these rumors was the guy himself and that the story wasn't limited to work or even our small town but was all over and it was very likely that her husband was going to find out. He denied this so of course this made her the bad guy and now her former friend has been making her life difficult at work.

I don't want to compound her problems, I just want to be able to have a discussion with her without turning it into a fight.