Dealing with college-age kids?

I'm having trouble trying to figure out how to relate to my 19 year old son, who is just starting his sophomore year in college. He seemed unhappy for a good part of the summer and said that he was "glad he was going to live in a dorm this year that stayed open all the time," so he "wouldn't have to come home during all the holidays." He also told me I am a "bad mom."

I don't want to be a "helicopter mother," as people say now. But I want him to know I care. How often should I check in with him? I just can't figure him out! Help! Should I try to question him more about his feelings or should I just give him his space, since he's now basically a grown man?

I have to say that my feelings are really hurt. I know I've lacked sometimes as a mother because I have bipolar, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, and other health problems, but I did try my best.....Sigh. I'm really feeling down about it all.

A 19 year old has no business speaking to his mom that way. If he has unresolved issues he needs to seek appropriate help.

Thanks for responding. He did apologize for it. I did tell him I thought he ought to see a counselor. After all, isn't that what counselors are for? Complaining about our childhoods?

I'm glad he apologized. Part of my therapy is learning to forgive my folks for things they really could't help.

PAYNE1, I don't know if this book would fit your situation or not, but I found if helpful when one of my kids and I just could not seem to get along:

When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along
by Joshua Coleman

Maybe see if you can inject a little relaxation and humor into the parenting situation?

http://www.utdallas.edu/counseling/s...g-parents.html