[good2go]

Not really sure if this the right section to post this in but need advice from other parents

My son is older late twenties and is in military currently. He recently got married and his wife weve known for awhile now. We was very happy with him deciding to marry her and felt she would be great wife for our son. They did get married because she said when he was visiting her in the state she lived she ended up getting pregnant.

Since the marriage she has cut all communication with us and what little communication there is shes been very cold toward all family members.

I am questioning the whole pregnancy issue because she says she got pregnant and then 5 days later took a urine test , right when my son said they should wait to get married , and she told him the urine test was positive. They married the next day based on the fact that she told him she was pregnant. Since this time and with her attitude towards everyone im second guessing the whole pregnancy issue.... last i knew you couldnt find out you was pregnant within 4-5 days of conception with a urine test bought at walmart ? And then she sent me pictures of an ultrasound at 6weeks and it just dont seem to match up to being a 6week old fetus... conviently the info that is normally printed on the edge of ultrasound picture has been cut out of the picture...hmmmm strange.

As you can imagine im just stuck in a really bad spot
Do i say something to our son ? If i do she would for sure deny anything

Do I just be quiet about it and wait till the baby born and see when the birth is if the dates match up that they would have been together?

Shes already trying to find ways to cut contact with our son by things she says.... i cant stand the thought of him cutting us out of his life. Hes in such a difficult dangerous time of his life with being deployed soon. I dont know how to deal with this .... just need advice

[AAAAA]

Home PG tests are pretty accurate these days tests can tell you if positive the first day of your missed period (roughly two weeks preggo by my calculations), but why would you even take a test unless you are trying to get pregnant? Something sounds off.

As hard as it is, just keep the lines of communication open and keep your negative thoughts about her to yourself (even if he should bring it up). He will only make a decision based upon his own experience and your opinions may only cause hard feelings. Not to mention if she's trying to convince him that you are against her anything negative you may say will give her credibility.

[Laurie1041]

It is not uncommon for adult children to go through periods of not communicating with their parents. I understand your hurt - sometimes I don't hear from my daughter for what seems like months on end.

I would suggest that you resist the urge to tell your son about your suspicions. This will only cause major damage to your relationship with your son and your daughter-in-law. I think it might prove very embarrassing once your grandchild is born! Try to make a good relationship with your daughter-in-law - she is the ticket to any future grandchildren. A good relationship with your daughter-in-law is just healthier for all involved. Why waste valuable time being suspicious? Keep the lines of communication open and try to see that your daughter-in-law wants your approval. Why else would she send you the ultra-sound picture?Laurie

In the meantime, I think you can find great happiness if you continue doing those things that give you great pleasure - going out with friends, perhaps exercising, or finding a new hobby that you really enjoy. Life can be really great when we are no longer burdened caring for children!

[Travelinglady]

Originally Posted by Laurie1041

It is not uncommon for adult children to go through periods of not communicating with their parents. I understand your hurt - sometimes I don't hear from my daughter for what seems like months on end.

I would suggest that you resist the urge to tell your son about your suspicions. This will only cause major damage to your relationship with your son and your daughter-in-law. I think it might prove very embarrassing once your grandchild is born! Try to make a good relationship with your daughter-in-law - she is the ticket to any future grandchildren. A good relationship with your daughter-in-law is just healthier for all involved. Why waste valuable time being suspicious? Keep the lines of communication open and try to see that your daughter-in-law wants your approval. Why else would she send you the ultra-sound picture?Laurie

In the meantime, I think you can find great happiness if you continue doing those things that give you great pleasure - going out with friends, perhaps exercising, or finding a new hobby that you really enjoy. Life can be really great when we are no longer burdened caring for children!

I'm just starting to deal with adult kids, so I appreciate your post--thinking I might be in your shoes one day. #1 son is in college ROTC, planning a career in the military. #2 will be 18 in 2 months. These other folks certainly are giving good advice, I think. I've had some problems with my mother-in-law......And I do think I'm a decent wife and person in general. I have sometimes had to take the position of--"Okay, I'm your WIFE, and you need to listen to me more than to your mother!" So, your son would be caught in the middle, and you would be perceived as the stereotypical mother-in-law "enemy" if you try to raise your suspicions. It's good to try to keep the door open and take comfort (as I'm trying to) that we did the best job we could in raising them--and just be happy when they do contact us......

[good2go]

Thanks for the advice... i tend to agree that if i say anything its just going to give her something to make communication all the more restricted with my son. Only thing that upset me is she was trying to make me believe a 4month ultrasound picture was that of one being 6wks fetus.... thats when i started to wonder why should be lying about it all... cause obviously she was alot further along than 6wks and our son wasnt around her at that time.... you just cant see nose and hands and fingers and everything in a 6week old ultra sound.
I guess to some extent it is our sons problem but honestly at this point he dont expect that shes lying about the baby being his.

[Travelinglady]

Originally Posted by good2go

Thanks for the advice... i tend to agree that if i say anything its just going to give her something to make communication all the more restricted with my son. Only thing that upset me is she was trying to make me believe a 4month ultrasound picture was that of one being 6wks fetus.... thats when i started to wonder why should be lying about it all... cause obviously she was alot further along than 6wks and our son wasnt around her at that time.... you just cant see nose and hands and fingers and everything in a 6week old ultra sound.
I guess to some extent it is our sons problem but honestly at this point he dont expect that shes lying about the baby being his.

I agree--it DOES sound suspicious. But when the baby comes at the "wrong time," as you suspect, I think your son will begin to wonder.....My opinion is that it will be something that the two of them will need to deal with. I think I'd be upset if he were my son, too. But, that said, "The proof will be in the pudding"--when the baby arrives..... Okay?