[Omers]

My son is having difficulties with the holidays. Given that he is adopted and his bio family only shows up at Christmas I know it is hard for him. He has autism and I think he is just now reaching a developmental level where having lost his bio family is starting to hit. We have been dealing with non-stop anoying behviors for a while now. So much so that we were un-invited to Thanksgiving dinner. But... the behaviors were just things to urk me (and his aunt) and he was always sure to be caught. OK, again, I went into this as knowingly as one could so I just ignored most of the behaviors. The behaviors that could not be ignored ment time out or extra chores.
Last night he pulled a stunt that landed us in the ER for 3 hours (he is perfectly fine). obviously we are at a level now that the behaviors have to be addressed and addressed in a firm way. I have always been firm and consistant as it is what he responded to best.
Having to come down so hard on him today is killing me. Today it is so hard to be the mom he needs. I feel like S***. This is the first time in over a year that he seems to be showing remorse for his behavior. Usually if he is in time out and cries it is so fake that it is easy to ignore. Todays tears are real and it is so hard to stay firm. I have tried to comfort him while not backing down on his consiquence of staying in his room for the day (except for meals and the like and he doesn't understand that today is Thanksgiving so we will have Thanksgiving tomorrow). But he is scared, upset and angry and just pushes me away. I know it isn't really me that is hurting him right now, it is his past. I want to take the pain away but I can't. I wish we could talk (he is non-verbal) I wish he could express himself to someone. I try to talk to him but they are my words not his and for healing to happen they have to be his.
Today, it sucks to be a parent.

I can empathise with you I have a son who has mental health issues and no matter how much it hurts you have to stay consistent. I failed and he has ended up in prison I was weak and gave into the tears.

I have learned and have not made the same mistake with my younger ones. It pays off in the long run I have a happy teenager and three younger ones following behind.

Keep your chin up and show him love but stick to your guns you are not alone.

[madisgram]

omers, how bout giving him a big hug?

[Omers]

Thanks Madisgram,
I continue to hug and love on him as much as he will let me before he pushes me away. I wish I could just scoop him up, hold him and cradle him but he just pushes me away. I will continue to offer affection but also need to respect his boundaries. He is very angry with me right now regardless of if he is in trouble or not. I know that it isn't really about me, it is about his bio mom, so all I can do is weather the storm. It isa part of the grieving/healing process that many adoptees go through. Crap... starting to sound like a therapist... knew I shouldn't spend so much time with them!

[trixielou]

i get so ultra easily frazzled & lots of times momhood isnt all eewwww motherhood is this float on cloud 9. is it just me or do other moms & dads feel like theyre goin to completely lose their mind in the dead of winter snow is so fun but when its so cold u cant enjoy it dont care tomorrow we will all bundle up to the point be4 frost bite sets in unless the wind chills are crazy cold im not totally irresponsible last winter we did it so it wont hurt for a little bit hope it snows lots! God did bless me with a good treadmill so i can keep up my workouts thank the Lord!