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Old Dec 28, 2010, 01:27 PM
whenwillitend's Avatar
whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
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It finally came to this. My son who just turned 8 two weeks ago is starting to see a therapist. His teacher in school can't handle him anymore, and he clearly has an anger issue at home. I feel I failed him as a mother. I don't know where I went wrong. But I messed up my child. I feel so guilty.

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  #2  
Old Dec 28, 2010, 01:32 PM
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racee racee is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Posts: 5,567
my son is 7 and was in therapy last year. no matter how he is reared he still will not sit down in class and wait his turn....and does a few other things, u didn't fail! if only more people took their kids to therapists when we were young think how it might of changed us.
  #3  
Old Dec 28, 2010, 09:58 PM
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Travelinglady Travelinglady is offline
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Location: North Carolina
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Please don't consider yourself a failure! I can tell that you did the best that you could! I intentionally put both my sons in therapy when they were in their early teens. I should have done so earlier. I did the best I could, but I was occasionally abusive due to my personality issues. I wish my mother had put me in therapy. At least the issues are being addressed earlier, so he should be okay! Some children are born with "issues," in a way, and even the best parenting isn't sufficient.
  #4  
Old Dec 28, 2010, 10:17 PM
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Petunia111 Petunia111 is offline
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Location: NJ USA
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I hear you; I could barely stand my son's melt downs when he was little. My world was hell.

He does take a couple of medications, but is now a really nice young man who is 20 years old and will be a Junior in college this coming semester.

Be glad that you are getting him help now because, with help, and not trying to put the problem under the carpet, he will grow up with lots to live for.
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My son is starting therapy
  #5  
Old Dec 29, 2010, 02:13 PM
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salukigirl salukigirl is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
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Has something happened that would make him act out like that?

When I was 6 my parents divorced. My grades slipped and I was getting all kinds of comments on my report cards from teachers. My mom even had a psych sit in on my classes to watch me who claimed I was ADD and tried to put me on Ritalin. They tried to get me to go to counseling claiming I was just messed up but noone ever took the time to think that maybe I was acting out because of my parents divorce.

I hope everything works out with your soon. Never underestimate the power of a parent just listening though. Sometimes that's all I wanted was someone to listen to me and it felt like they were so obsessed with hating each other that I lost both my parents for a while.
  #6  
Old Dec 31, 2010, 04:19 PM
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whenwillitend whenwillitend is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,143
thank you all. we haven't noticed anything that could have triggered his behavior. usually he acts out while his daddy is deployed, but daddy's been home since may now. so that's not it. i don't know why he acts like he does, but hopefully his therapist will be able to help us figure it out.

i just hope he didn't inherit my depression. that thought scares me. i don't want my child going through what i'm going through.
  #7  
Old Dec 31, 2010, 11:39 PM
PsychCentered PsychCentered is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2010
Posts: 5
It's a mistake to make this a sad story or to make it about you: It's too heavy a load for an 8 year old. Taking a struggling child to therapy is a wonderfully responsible thing for a parent to do. I hope you've got a therapist who works with the whole family. You'll be amazed at how much better you and your son can feel.
  #8  
Old Jan 01, 2011, 06:18 PM
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salukigirl salukigirl is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2007
Location: Fayetteville, AR
Posts: 2,798
Having a father in the military can be extremely stressful. I am not an army brat or anything so I can't give personal experiences but I can't imagine what it feels like to never have the security of knowing he will be there everyday when you get home. Just because he is physically home doesn't mean your son isn't afraid of him leaving again. Y'know?

My brother in law is a police officer and, even though he comes home everyday, his daughters (my 5 and 7 yr old nieces) have nightmares about robbers coming in and killing him, about him dying from someone shooting him etc.... So even though nothing has happened for them to have these fears, they know what danger is involved. I could see a child with a military father having those same fears. I hope something gets resolved.
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