This is way too much to carry! Too much for too long! Get me out of here!

Daughter caught in a prison of anxiety and worry. Crying... screaming... because the frustration is too strong and overwhelming. Questions... questions... questions... No fighting spirit.

Son on the phone talking about racism stuff (he's not a racist) using it as a vent instead of saying what it is really eating him. He can't handle emotions. I know he's suffering... but right now I was not in a good place myself after our daughter just having a meltdown. I was close to tears hearing him shouting "White power!" "Kill all black people!" and similar phrases. Hubby took over the phone and then our son broke into pieces crying out loud and screaming. It dawned on him that he'd upset me - the one who really understands him... the one he always talk to when he's feeling bad. We're so close and sort of 'feel' together.
I so just wanted to be there with him! I'm his mom and I had to help him over the phone!!! I want to be with my son when he's hurting! I took over the phone again and tried to calm him down... but the personnel entered his room and he went furious. I told him I had to hang up and call the personnel and help them help him.
The personnel didn't have a clue what to do! My poor son in agony bottling up his worries inside.
I told the personnel to tell my son that he can call me anytime this evening... even if it would be in the middle of the night. He'll need me when he's calmed down.

I can't take my children suffering any longer! My heart is in a million pieces!



Sorry, just needed to get it out!

[Jewels]

(((((((((( HeartWhispers ))))))))))

I feel the pain in your words, and want you to know that you are so right in wanting to be there for your son...I cannot imagine what it would be like to not be able to be there for your own children...

I just wanted to acknowledge that your feelings are natural and motherly...and that you do what you need to do to help him and your daughter with whatever means you can...

perhaps ask the school counselor to talk to your daughter, explain to him/her what is going on in the family right now, and ask the counselor to talk to her...she might be able to talk to the counselor better because she is not in the middle of the family issues...having a safe place to be herself and let her hair down, so to speak, might do a world of good for her.

Let her know you understand how she feels, and are there for her whenever, whatever the time, it doesn't matter...you are there for her, supporting her...wrap her in a hug if she will let you...give her some undivided time and see how she responds...

You have your hands full...I will be praying for you...

Jewels

Thank you so much for your reply, my friend!

My daughter is already in therapy and is also seeing the school counselor...

Both hubby and I do different things together with our daughter and show her love... but she's so confused in takes over so easily.

Just been on the phone with my son again... trying to encouraging him to go to school tomorrow. He was calmer talking to right now but in internal turmoil.

[Can't Stop Crying]

I am so sorry for you! You are the strongest mother I know. I'm thinking of you!

I don't want to be strong anymore... I'm tired... but I know - I have to keep going.

ty for always being so caring CSC! my ears are yours as well, you know that.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Sending you security and strength
In these tough times!