[nicoleb2]

My son is 6. He is in the third week of first grade.

He has been kicking and screaming and not wanting to go to school for the last week or so. I was very concerned because he loved school last year. His teacher today told me that his behavior at school is perfect, but he has had to miss out on some recess time to finish his writing.

His teacher last year, and this one this year have both told me that he seems to process things quite slow (when asked to answer verbally, and especially when writing). He does very well, once the work is done, just has trouble getting it done.

I am really worried about him missing recess to finish his work. I don't want him to think he is "bad" for not getting the work done fast enough for something he can't control (his processing speed).

I am at a complete loss as to what to do. At least if it was a behavior issue, I could do something, but I can't magically change his processing speed.

Can anyone give me some kind of ideas what to do??

[Flooded]

I would tackle the teacher.

Make it clear you aren't happy about your son missing recess for those reasons. If you aren't happy with the response, see the principal.

At my child's school the teachers jump through hoops for you once you've gone above their head

[nicoleb2]

I've had to deal with teachers/social workers/principal for my 9 year old (she has adhd and had a very unflexible teacher last year). Because she has a diagnosed "disability" they are legally required to make changes, but my son doesn't have a diagnosed disability, they see nothing wrong with making him miss out on recess.

My son was assessed for special ed in preschool, but most of his scores were really good, except his processing speed. I am so frustrated because it's not HIS fault, it's just a part of who he is and I don't think he should be punished for being who he is.

[Flooded]

Tell the teacher that.

[nicoleb2]

I am going to send her an e-mail tomorrow. I am getting a copy of my son's assessment from preschool to give them as well

[Flooded]

Good for you. The last thing your son needs is to be put off school at his age.

Best to sort it now.

[nicoleb2]

I thought I better wait till tomorrow because I am not very "effective" when I am as angry as I am today.

I don't want to become one of "those" parents. I don't think my children should be catered to in school. My daughter had issues due to her ADHD, but that seems better with teachers that allow her to move, even if just to sharpen her own pencil.

With my son, my biggest worry is that he is going to think he is bad if he has to start staying in from recess frequently. And he is only 6. he has a lot of years left to go in school. If we can't turn things around now, I don't even want to think of 2, 3, 10 years down the road.

[Flooded]

Exactly.

And if it makes you feel better, I AM one of "those" parents. Surprised much??

My eldest started school this year. I made sure it was known I would sort **** out if needed

[nicoleb2]

I think my kids' school knows I mean business. With my daughter, all I have to do is dangle "504 plan" or "IEP" and they will do what they need to, because they know that if they don't, I will require an evaluation, which they would have to adhere to, and which they don't like to deal with.

I used to just sit back and go with the flow, but not anymore. I guess it's that "mama bear" instinct kicking in

[Sabrina]

I agree that it isn't fair that your son is made to miss recess for something that is beyond his control. My son was made to sit inside a box because he was so easily distracted and I thought that was a highly counter-productive and isolating action. I had to go over the teacher's head for that one.

I hope the outcome for your little boy is good.

[sabby]

I think that your son must have his recess time with the other children. Socialization and play time is so very important for the kids for them to learn and grow. Playing games with the other kids may very well help your son to advance in his processing time as well. It's all interactive in my book.

A 504 plan is a great idea and a great place to start. It's similar to an IEP and lays out stratagies to use with your son during his school day to make it more productive and successful for him.

My grandson has issues in school as well and he has an IEP, but he is also coded so the IEP is more specific to his needs.

I would strongly suggest that whatever work he is unable to finish in class be able to be brought home for home work each day. I don't think he should be graded any differently than if he was able to complete it during his class time either. Ask the teacher if there is a place in her classroom that may be more comfortable for your son to work in with less interruption. Also, is there an aide in the classroom? If so, it might be helpful for him to have someone helping him if he needs it.

I hope you find something to help your son. I know how hard it is for the both of you.

Wishing you well!

Have a meeting with his teacher and try to work out a plan that will be most beneficial to your son. I am assuming slow processing speed was not a qualifier under special education, but it may be something that can be addressed through 504 (I'm not sure though). You might ask for a 504 assessment to be done.

In the meantime, slow processing can actually be handled with very similar accommodations as ADHD. The length of assignments can be reduced (for instance, instead of 20 math problems, he could do 10). Extended time can be allowed so that instead of missing recess, he could finish assignments at home (and if the length has been reduced on work, the amount of homework will probably end up being about what it is right now.) If they haven't done a speech evaluation, that might be a place to start, although they probably did a speech assessment when they did his testing previously. My son received speech services partially because he had trouble with processing what he was hearing.

If he doesn't qualify for special ed or 504, the problem will eventually be that he legally does not qualify for accommodations in the classroom.

Another suggestion: Consider having your son's pediatrician write a letter with recommendations to accommodate for processing speed and present that letter to the 504 committee at your son's school. With a physician's recommendation for accommodations, 504 might be possible. (Still not sure of all the procedure requirements. I'm a teacher, but I only deal with 504's after the accommodations have been made. I don't serve on the committee itself.)

[AAAAA]

I am one of “those” parents and darn proud of it. No one will advocate for your children better than you. I sent my children to school clean, fed and well rested. They arrived on time and prepared for class. I expected them to behave and be respectful. In return I expected the school to provide them with a clean and safe learning environment.

My eldest is ADHD and also has several learning disabilities. When I had an issue it was addressed immediately. My daughter was an over achiever so I had very few issues with her in school. So I had a bit of a culture shock when addressing issues regarding my twins. But they learned, quickly, that even though I did not have the sword (which is what my eldest’s advocate called his IEP) with the twins, that did not mean I was going to roll over and accept what was happening in school either. When they pulled this stunt on the twins (keeping them from recess to complete work) I said if they were goofing off and did not complete their work, keeping them from recess, art, and gym was an acceptable form of punishment. If they were making an honest effort and did not complete the work, they were not to be punished. Which is what I view keeping them from that time they need to play and blow off steam. This agreement worked pretty well except the older of the twins would miss recess because he was “daydreaming” in math. It took a few years to discover that he is one of those people that does math completely in his head. It actually became a problem in Calculus because showing the work was a portion of his grade. In his head he always got the correct answer, but being forced to conform actually made him take longer to do the work. He would figure out the answer then have to try to translate it to paper. I do feel guilty now that he missed so many of the fun things in school because he does things differently.

My personal policy was first discuss it with the teacher. If that did not solve the issue, then I moved up the chain. I was usually polite, and concluded the meeting with “thank you for your time, who is your supervisor and I would like their number please.” You usually only have to move up the chain once before they realize you mean business. I also learned that if this is “policy” that you can call the Superintendent of Schools and be placed on the agenda for the Board meeting. (If you are not on the agenda they can limit your speaking time to 3 minutes here and are not really required to address the issue until you are on the agenda.) My problem was solved to my satisfaction within an hour of that request.

You have a lot more rights than you may realize.

[nicoleb2]

Because he has no diagnosis, the school will not do anything about a 504 plan (my daughter has ADHD and they wouldn't even do one for her).

I am getting some information from the people that did my son's assessment in preschool, as well as information from them that I can present to the teacher (Thank God my sister works with those people!!).

I should have that info tonight. It has also been brought to my attention that not only is my son processing slower, he is also having trouble with writing some of his letters backwards. I am quite certain that he is not dyslexic, but something has to change or he's going to hate school

Reversing letters is not all that unusual at such a young age. If I remember right, it is after the age of 7 that they start looking at that as a sign of dyslexia.