Bright child support

Hello

I have a 7 year old who is exceptionally bright, but isn't being challenged at school, and I was wondering if anybody has any support they can give me to help keep him interested, and maybe positive approaches to talk to his teacher (I am thoroughly aware she has 29 other children in the class to cope with, but she often complains about his behavior).

So he has always been an unusual child, he always hit his milestones on time or early as a baby/tot, except speech which was delayed a little, he didn't bother much until he was 2-3yrs old, and then he would come out with full sentences. He has always been inquisitive, but much prefers finding things out himself than asking questions, he is however very happy to listen to almost anything intellectual for a moderate period of time, and takes everything in really well.

Currently my limits are my finances (I am working a low paid job full time but also studying and paying out for that, and his dad/my partner is in training too) and energy, I have persistent fatigue (various ideas have been suggested by doctors, but nobody is interested in diagnosing me, and there are no real treatments anyway). I spend as much energy as I can reading with him, giving him work books and going through his rocks and minerals magazines (he is obsessed with rocks, gems, minerals, flags, maps, history and anything in the humanities genre in particular). But I often fall asleep mid-way through a book and he carries on alone happily but then plays up because he gets bored.

I have looked for local children's groups in the sciences or humanities, but I am very limited in travel and there is just nothing he wants to access. So any ideas here? I need activities that take little energy but will engage him at a high level of learning and improve his knowledge and understanding.

I also need to work out how to approach his teacher with ideas to extend his education. He has always been a bit naughty at school, but it has got progressively worse as he has got older and more aware that nobody else thinks on his wavelength. He should be an ideal candidate for education, he is easy to get interested and as long as he is not made to repeat things he already understands he is quite happy to read, talk and experience a variety of subjects, but it seems with 29 other kids in his class she doesn't have time to work this out (I do understand, but she would have things a lot easier if things were implemented to make his education better, because he would behave in class!). How can I talk to her respectfully without sounding like the sun shines out of my son's ***?? I know it doesn't! I know he is a little monkey just like every other child, but I also know he needs extra support or we are setting him up to fail, if school is to be forever boring to him, he will seek pleasure elsewhere and end up on drugs or skipping lessons or becoming depressed. I cannot let that happen to him, he deserves a good shot at for-filling his potential.

Thanks for your advice, and any similar stories you might have?

I notice you are in England, so I'm not very familiar with how your schools are set up. I can only tell you what would be available in the US. Maybe England has similar programs.

In the US, school districts must provide for education for the gifted and talented. In my district, I believe the initial recommendations for testing occur in 2nd grade. How the programs are set up varies from district to district, but basically students who qualify for GT are pulled out into a separate classroom at some point during the day to work with a teacher trained to teach GT kids. Often they are served through language arts classes and math classes, but that varies. You might check with your school to see what kind of testing programming are available.

I would look to see if you can advance him a grade level. Sometimes just getting that extra challenge and then being the youngest in the class kind of chills bright kids out. I don't know if they do that in England but here it is sometimes done if a child can demonstrate knowledge of their current grade curriculum.

Hi, I'm not familiar with UK laws. But very familiar with US educational laws. I have 3 children all with special needs, they all have IEP's (individualized Education Plans) now. But it wasnt easy, the school did not want to put out the extra services. For us, Special Needs were adhd for starters with my daughter who's abstract though ability was amazing, but her boredom with mundane tasks lacked focus, and a visual processing disorder for both of my sons who both tested highly with abstract thought and problem solving, but the actual reading and writing were difficult. So now my children apply for extra services, and special ed is a normal happy thing now, everyone is unique and learns differently.
If your son is having issues being naughty at school they should help you with that. His self-esteem is at risk. i wish i would've been more of a squeaky wheel with getting my daughter help earlier on because you are exactly right, he could be at risk for drug use and depression. My daughter even tried to hurt herself at age 14, then they finally listened and gave us the IEP to get her help and counseling through the school. It was too late to save her education at that point, she already hated school so much and knew that she'd been treated poorly by people who were supposed to like kids and want to help and teach them. But not too late for you and your son, you are getting a head start on it. My 10 year old is doing great, i make use of all the resources I can to give him every help possible.
I think you will have to learn your rights for your area, and insist they do testing, and get him help he needs. By the way my son scored so high on the Gifted and Talented Program, in 3rd grade, and I thought awesome, finallly he will have cool and interesting new experiences at school. But nope, they even told him before they told me that because of his poor behaviour he would not be allowed to participate, and that there were many other kids who would know how to behave in the special program.
Good luck, act now, and learn your and your child's rights of education in your area. Please know what a fabulous parent you are!!

I would not overbalance him with formal, "book" education; it sounds like he is lacking in much social interaction and the important education that goes with learning self-control so he does not act out and can learn to entertain himself when bored. We all have to stand in queues for a good part of our lives; behaving well in them is an important part of one's education!

I would look into neighborhood library programs, let someone else read to him if you are falling asleep but it concerns me that you are trying to do too much, whether through necessity or choice; your health is very important and if you are having difficulty, I would cut back on some of your activities if able. Start him writing his own stories and doing art work and other activities that require personal concentration and care and time :-) but not much in materials or money or added effort on your part.

thanks all.

I know what you are saying about forcing the book-smart upon him, but I am not. I spend a lot of time working on his social skills with his cousins, friend's kids and at the park with strangers, he has always been around other children so there is no good reason why his social skills are 'poor' except that he cannot relate to children with an average IQ, he copes well with his bright cousin, and is wonderful with small children, because he understands them, but kids his own age are mainly totally different to him, and he doesn't understand what they want in a friend or what kind of things they are in to. He loves to talk about and read about rocks and minerals, they are totally not interested in that sort of thing, they want to chat about TV shows, but he gets bored watching most things, he only really enjoys watching TV when he is playing with construction toys at the same time, and even then he prefers cookery shows, history programs or animal documentaries.

My health will be ok, he only gets one childhood and I am lucky enough to share it with him, I want him to be able to choose to do the things he likes and focus on a positive future. He has a lot of self control, and we do tai chi together to aid this, I think he gets somewhat anxious sometimes too, but once he has done tai chi with me in the morning he calms down and settles well, until he is at school.

I have a bright and gifted child as well...her OCD makes it hard sometimes to teach her, but she is very intelligent. She is only 5 but is reading, and doing other curicula on a first grade level, but her math is advanced to a second grade level. She is home schooled for both these reasons...I have found that she flourishes when I set a challenge and allow her tofind the answer on her own...i also try to get her to do things that she normally would do, but I give her an added challenge to go with it...her OCD and love of learning pushes her to try harder and find new ways to learn. Its worked for us, but it may not work for everyone.

I wish I could afford to home-school! We both have to work full time to afford a house&food I do my best to set him challenges and find it is the best strategy for otherwise 'boring' situations, like shopping, he has a list to find things on, and brings them to the trolley (it is a small town, and I never let him out of eyesight). Also when paying he will go and count the baskets for a little while before I hand him a light-ish bag to carry. Since I started implementing those things he has been a different child!!!

Thanks all, will keep an eye on here in case any other interesting views/comments appear, and update you on how the meeting with the school goes (I have to find time to arrange it when I a m not working )

There are definitely some areas that are much more outstanding than others, for example geography is fantastic, but his maths is only a year or two ahead of himself. His language skills (I am teaching him french, and hope to pay for a tutor in mandarin) are fairly average. Its funny, he was slow to start reading, he only really read well from about 5-6 (they start at 4 nationally here) but suddenly went from below average to way up there in the last year and a half. I think he might be the kind of learner who has to build some understanding then suddenly jumps ahead in leaps.

Dear Terry,

I have an 11 year old girl who just made straight A's and A plusses in middle school. She qualified for Gifted and Talented Education but the State of California does not have enough money to fund this program. My style is to keep her busy: volleyball, cross-country, track, girl scouts, piano, trumpet, play dates, and family field trips to the ocean, museums, shows, ballet, etc. We're on a budget so I try to find activities that don't cost too much. Sometimes we go on hikes or for a bike ride. Other times we play educational board games. She seems like she does her best when she is busy and having fun. The teacher piece is difficult. Maybe the teacher would be motivated to give extra assignments "for fun"? There is a lot to check out on the net, too. Be creative. It doesn't have to cost a lot to challenge our witty children. And sometimes, they even lead us to what they are interested in. Listening is a big key to parenting as you know. Good luck! You strike me A's an amazing parent!!!

Thank you so much! I have been buying work books for him, we are working our way through the next few years of maths, english and science. I have a few french books, and am trying to teach him french (I speak a little myself, and we have a couple of CDs too, he loves watching his favourite cartoon in french too!) Since he was given a 3DS for christmas things have become easier, and I saved up and got a special timer, so he knows how long he has (it has 3 different colours and noises as well as the time ticking down, so he can process it easily).

We have just found out we are expecting another little one! Although this will mean more work, I get 6-9months off work so I can spend more quality time with him.

Thanks all trying to find appropriate after school activities in our area.

Your child sounds a lot like my 9 year old. He is in his school's Gifted and Talented Program, but it's only once a week, and it's just not enough.

With a little research we have found a (tuition free) elementary school especially geared towards Gifted and Talented students, and we applied for it. We missed the deadline, so for right now he's on the waiting list. I really hope he will get in.

I really don't have any actual advice, as we are still dealing with the issues that come with having a bright child too. My son is also bipolar (his pdoc says he's bipolar, but officially he calls it Mood Disorder NOS, because of his age), which doesn't help. Luckily his teacher is an angel, and really tries to work with him, but she's clearly in over her head.

Good luck, I hope you can figure out something.

We also home-school because of similar problems and adhd/ocd. Anyway we don't have a lot of money so here's some suggestions:
Ask if he can bring an interesting book to class to read when he finishes his work.
Brain pop has free short films
Time4learning
Jumpstart
Typing
There are other free options but here is a few.

I have no idea if this will help, but:
I was a gifted and talented child; my grandmother was a schoolteacher. I was a real brat and I ended up leaving school early anyway, mostly because there was never any challenge or support.
Anyway, my grandmother taught me to knit (I think she did this with her bright students, too) and then made me knit whilst I was in school, during the lessons -- it slowed me down enough to think about two things that I didn't act out.
Probably finding anything to do with his hands while he simultaneously does his lessons could help him calm down in class. Just make sure his teacher knows what's going on.

thanks everybody still keeping him busy outside of school. His teacher has just changed, and I'm hoping this new one will make sure he is kept occupied. I will look in to getting permission from the teacher for him to have something to fiddle with in lessons, I have a 'Tangler' and a few other small toys he fiddles with while watching films&documentaries, so I wonder if she would be happy to let him have them in class. A reading book at the end of his work might get him motivated to finish it quickly so they can really understand what his ability is, he often refuses to finish work he is perfectly capable of, perhaps because there is no good reason (in his mind) to do it. I have explained I understand he finds some things boring, but that he needs to show the teacher he can do them so he can get more interesting work, but I think he is a little to impulsive to think that far ahead still!

Thanks again for all the help, we are looking at moving him to another local school which has a reputation of challenging its students better, but has a lot of disadvantaged children attend. I am not sure if the better teaching&access to facilities are worth the risk of him coming in to contact with children who are potentially neglected. He is not regularly bullied currently, and I don't know if he would be bullied there, or I am being prejudiced because I went to high school with children from the same areas who were (by then) really nasty. Advice? I wish I could let him have a trial week and see which school he prefers, but its just not possible with the education system over here I would absolutely send him to private school if we could afford £300+ a month in fees and the transport to the school, I keep playing the lottery in the hope we win enough to either home-school or private school him, I just feel he deserves to be allowed to reach his potential with encouragement rather than reaching where the teacher wants him to by the end of the year to meet her targets

Ignore me if you find this offensive but do you work? I'm just asking because homeschooling costs us about $150 us per year

Yes, I work, I cannot afford to stay home and school him, my partner works too. I'd love to home school, but there is just no way I could quit work, the rent wouldn't get paid, the water gas&electric bills nor the council tax. Unless my partner suddenly worked 50+hours a week there is no way I could afford to be a stay at home mum, not on the UK minimum wage of £6.20 an hour.

I couldn't afford to home school, either. I was on student loans and a TAship, getting my PhD. A bit of creativity is all we need. We did experiments for physics using string and wire. We borrowed books of art and read about different periods such as Impressionism and then tried to imitate the masters with our crayons. We listened to opera on the stereo; also musicals. We wrote books. We went to SO many free exhibits that his favorite activity was to make "brochures"--yes, at age 4 he knew what brochure meant and enjoyed making them out of notebook paper and pencil. He also liked to play "museum"; he would make sculpture and art and models; then he would make a cassette recording of himself guiding people through his museum. He did that because he had been to a museum where one pushed a button at each exhibit and heard a recording. His recording included an explanation of what inspired the artist; yes, at age 6 he knew the concept of artistic "inspiration". At 4, I explained Descarte to him and he made up his own cogito: "I wish. I wish, therefore I am." At 4 I taught him to read and write; at 6 I taught him to read and write music. When he was 3 his favorite movie was Amadeus but he would censor himself during the scene in which Salieri cut his throat; that is, he knew by listening to the score when to turn around so as not to look at the blood; then he knew when the score was different when to turn back around. He was always interested in punctuation. A teacher saved a piece of his work because he knew, in first grade, how to use elipses to show suspense in a story. He tested into the gifted program but it was awful; the teacher wanted little engineers but my son was spiritually gifted so she gave him a B when he did his big project with presentation, in 3rd grade, on fortune-telling and palm-reading and general astrology. He read the palms of his classmates as part of his presentation. He begged, begged me to let him call Dionne Warwick to get a "psychic friend". In kindergarten he started keeping a secret notebook. Worried that he was emotionally troubled, I sneaked in his room and found his secret notebook. You'll never guess what was in it. It was full of lyrics to James Taylor songs which my son had written out by hand. At 3, he refused to listen to Puccini because Mimi's death scene made him burst into sobs. He was never bored in school because he liked teaching and helping the other children. I also taught him feminism and anatomy using one of my school textbooks--Our Bodies, Ourselves. So he knew what the clitoris was as young as 2. I also read to him from Ovid's Metamorphoses for religious education. He also wrote poetry, and we used scraps to create elaborate board games such as "What Killed the Dinosaurs?" with tokens leading the player to one of three theories.

My point is two-fold. With no money for extras, I utilized what I had and what I knew. My other point is just that I am very depressed so writing out these memories has cheered me up a bit. If you read this post, thank you.

Well, I am glad it has cheered you up some. My point is I can't afford to stop working my wages pay the bills so we can use my partners wages for groceries, and to pay debts etc. off. We have a teeny amount left over to play with anyway (and currently pretty much all of that is being saved up for the baby we have due in autumn). We do things outside of school hours that enrich DS's education and encourage him, but we simply can't afford to do any more than that right now, and its so frustrating.