Missing my boy..

I don't really know where to post this, so I hope this is okay.

My husband and I have a 7-year-old pre-adoptive son..he's been living with us since July, but we have considered him "ours" since well before that..and we are the only ones he calls mom and dad. Children and youth removed him in December due to some completely false abuse allegations..we have since proved they are false (by completing a psych eval, passing a polygraph, and the "accuser" contradicting herself multiple times). C&Y now want to give him back to us, but the judge is making things difficult..we have had three hearings, and they just keep pushing it off.

He is placed in respite care with a good friend of mine, who was his previous foster parent..so we are allowed unlimited visits with him, but they are to be supervised. She has let us just take him out, unsupervised, a few times..and today, she dropped him off for the day.

She dropped him off at 11..I took him shopping, went out to lunch, played at the playground..came home and my parents came over to visit him, then my husband got home and we all had dinner and watched a movie together.

It was, without a doubt, the best day I have had in two months. Simple, but just being with him..reminded me of what I am missing.

I think I had numbed to the fact that he was not here..gotten used to it. Now it's like he was just "yanked" from us all over again. I can't stop crying..I don't know what to do.

Has anyone else had to deal with a loss like this? It's not like a loss I can grieve..because I need to still have some hope he might come back..but I don't know how much longer I can stand to be "in limbo."

Thanks for listening/reading..I know it probably doesn't make much sense, but I guess I just needed to get that out.

This sounds really horrible.

Your mood icon said you were "sad", and I wanted to know why. I guess this is it!

I've only seen half a dozen of your posts, but somehow I have taken to you straight away.

I see that you are a foster-parent. I can't understand that level of generosity.

All that trouble and responsibility, caring for a child who is already damaged and will most likely be given back to the very people who damaged him.

Thank you so much for your reply..it helps just to know someone else is reading. My son has Asperger's, and several other issues he is dealing with due to being in the system for 6 years..I guess you can say he's "damaged" but he still has so many awesome qualities..like constantly running up and hugging me just because he wants to :-) I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't come back home.

Aw I'm reading as well. My little bro has asbergers and other stuff, it's amazing what your doing. I hope he comes back home to you soon.

I'm sorry for what is happening. Have you looked into getting a lawyer? Sometimes you need someone who knows all the ins and outs of the system and can push people to do what they are supposed to do. I hope that he is able to return to you soon.

Thank you both..I do have a lawyer, a very good one who is also a GAL, so he is very familiar with the system..but he is just as frustrated as we are, as what the master is doing is "just this side of legal" in his words. We had another great day with my son today..so just trying to enjoy him while we have him, for now!

The one thing you said that makes me a bit nervous is that your visits are required to be supervised but that does not seem to be being followed. I'm not saying you need supervision, but be careful that you don't give them "justification " to deny custody. Just a thought.