teenage son sexuality issue(s)

Two months ago my 16 year old son told my wife and I that he preferred boys and that he was having a long distance relationship.

Way more troublesome to me is that I found some adult diapers in his room and that he wears women's underwear. He is unwilling to discuss the practice and I respect his privacy.
I need to understand what he may be doing with these adult diapers. When asked he tells me that the diapers don't fix any problem that he may have but allow him to do stuff he enjoys.

Over the last 9 months he has become much more withdrawn, gone is the outgoing happy preteen. School work has suffered.

Any experience anything like this. Any and all advice is welcome

Hello,

Being a teen myself I can start by telling you the good news, chances are one day he will tell you what is happening. The bad news however, is when he tells you is unknown.

Being a 16 year old is hard and complex, but everyone lives through it, some with more bruises then others. It's always good to respect privacy but limits must ALWAYS be set into place. You are the parents and no matter how much your son doesn't like it you have the right to care. You do have the right to know what is going on, but where that right lessens is the control piece.

As coming with age the control that you have over your teen slowly dwindles. This is the time when you have less power and your teen will do your bidding because he/she respects you. The older they get sadly to say the less influence you have without their agreement. You never want to have that power struggle with a teen because more then less they will almost always win, or the original argument is lost. If you take away a teens phone for talking back persay this quickly can escalate because your teen is now at a stage where they respect you because they chose so, not because of fear of punishment. Every child is different but most reach this conclusion one way or another.

my advice would be to sit down and talk to him. Show your concern and simply ask. Don't push the first few times, but if he still doesn't get in... and if your still worried start pushing harder, because it's important for you to know...

Honestly, I doubt he'll tell you or anyone else if it is a sexual issue. It could be just a cleanliness thing. So that "pick up" is easier, like condoms can be just taken off and thrown away after with no mess. Honestly I'd look into a therapist to deal with this issue and his withdrawing just incase.

It might be just a phase. I'm a teen as well and have had many phases. I had a lesbian phase. And I wear boxers. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be like that my whole life. Or I might marry a woman. Who knows... Whatever he decides just make sure to love him the same. Don't treat him differently. It's very important to show support. Not doing so will result in family complications later on. Take my word for it.

Good luck