[ElisaB]

As a mother of three (four, if you include the father), I'm always there when they're sick... nurturing them back to health, feeding, caring for them 24/7 until they regain their health. BUT, when mom's sick... nothing! No one takes care of me, nursing me back to health. In fact, it's just another day of hell and screaming, and arguing and not caring. It's no wonder I don't wanna be here. I care so much about those around me but they don't care back!! Hurts me so much!

[mazing]

I'm sorry that you are having those struggles. It is never easy when you put everything in and then don't feel appreciated in return.

Is there any chance that they do not realise that they are not being supportive? Can you talk to them about it and ask for some help when you are unwell?

[ElisaB]

I try.. remind them that I don't feel well, to please behave... hubby's just so unempathetic it's ridiculous. He went out with friends, got home and went to bed. But took a minute to let me know how pissed he was that I got nothing done and how I "liked" to sleep all day. I try so hard but it's never enough. Unemployed and useless!! AND sick... forget it!! Nothing I can do right.

[ickydog2006]

I'm sorry, I've been sick for almost two weeks and got into it with my hubby too. He did a little better once we talked about it, but still not great.

[avlady]

i know I could never do what you do, if it helps any i think anyone who has several kids to me is a saint, there must be alot of saints out there. I just know as i only have 1 son and he's 22 now and don't know how i even did that, i guess my husband is pretty good too, therefore you should pat yourself on the back from me, i could never do it!i appreciate you and what you do especially taking of your dad too. i wish and pray you'll get the appreciation you deserve!!!!!!!

[Vinka]

Originally Posted by ElisaB

As a mother of three (four, if you include the father), I'm always there when they're sick... nurturing them back to health, feeding, caring for them 24/7 until they regain their health. BUT, when mom's sick... nothing! No one takes care of me, nursing me back to health. In fact, it's just another day of hell and screaming, and arguing and not caring. It's no wonder I don't wanna be here. I care so much about those around me but they don't care back!! Hurts me so much!

"No good deed goes unpunished". Lucy ..... can't remember her surname.

I know how you feel, because I have experienced it not only with my grown daughters but with most other people whom I had helped in any way I could. They turned their backs on me. Ingratitude, for such people is a "burden", because they feel it as a "debt". That sense of indebtedness gets transmuted consciously or subconsciously into its opposite - entitlement. They think it is you who OWE THEM everything. (one of the new ego-defense mechanisms.) Conversely, they owe you nothing.
Your children and your unempathetic husband are taking you for granted. I suggest you go on a strike, when you get better. Write a message: Your dinner is in the supermarket, then leave the house. If you can go somewhere for a few days, all the better. If they guilt-trip you, upon your return, get angry. Find chipped crockery, get out of the house and smash it with full force on the concrete. Then, write a rota of chores. Wish you all the best.

[yellowted]

unfortunately kids will be kids whether you are ill or not, that's their role in life. Children who are expected to be carer to adult parents miss out on important things kids do which are the building blocks of becoming well rounded adults. Other halfs on the other hand should be aware of and willing to do more of the childcare whilst you are ill, but can not be expected to work, take full charge of the childcare and take care of you too. part of being an adult is being able to take care of yourself. Ok eveyone needs taking care of from time to time, that's what hospitals and carers are for.

try making a box of quiet toys/games/films/things which your children are unable to access - keep it in the top of your wardrobe, only get it out for them on days when you need peace, new toys/books etc always make for happy kids, happy kids make for easy times for parents! i always found the film Spider was a great one for youngsters as it always captured their attention yet was not full of bangs and loud noises!

[LovelaceF]

*hugs* I hope you feel better soon.

[LovelaceF]

Originally Posted by ElisaB

I try.. remind them that I don't feel well, to please behave... hubby's just so unempathetic it's ridiculous. He went out with friends, got home and went to bed. But took a minute to let me know how pissed he was that I got nothing done and how I "liked" to sleep all day. I try so hard but it's never enough. Unemployed and useless!! AND sick... forget it!! Nothing I can do right.

Aww...being a mother can be such a thankless job. You have my sympathy. Is there anyone you could ask to come over to help? A girlfriend, or grandparent or anyone?

[AAAAA]

I'm sorry ElisaB. I take comfort in the fact they'll know everything I did for them when they have children of their own.

The don't mean to take you for granted, that's just in the job description.