Teenage baby??

krh1973 · Aug 08, 2013, 06:13 PM

Hello all.
I am new to this so if post is not written well or has typos bare with me.
I have a serious problem. Well actually my Son does I have 3 boys 21, 19 and 17, My 17 year old Mathew is my concern he has started being a baby. I mean baby in every sense. He has nappies and dresses like one and has spoken to me about it. His 2 other brothers are aware and don't seem to care and think that I am a prude. They tell me that it's not unheard of and just go with it. On top of his baby thing he wants to be a baby around the house. Not at all times just at weekends and some evenings. My wife doesn't seem bothered by it. Her attitude is that he could be doing a whole lot worse. I however have serious concerns. He is not into children and said that this is not a sexual thing. What the hell do I do I am so confused and I really am like a fish out of water with this. Has anybody else heard of this or come across this before? Please help if you can offer advice I would be grateful.
Many Thanks
KRH1973

ocdwifeofsociopath · Aug 09, 2013, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krh1973

Hello all.
I am new to this so if post is not written well or has typos bare with me.
I have a serious problem. Well actually my Son does I have 3 boys 21, 19 and 17, My 17 year old Mathew is my concern he has started being a baby. I mean baby in every sense. He has nappies and dresses like one and has spoken to me about it. His 2 other brothers are aware and don't seem to care and think that I am a prude. They tell me that it's not unheard of and just go with it. On top of his baby thing he wants to be a baby around the house. Not at all times just at weekends and some evenings. My wife doesn't seem bothered by it. Her attitude is that he could be doing a whole lot worse. I however have serious concerns. He is not into children and said that this is not a sexual thing. What the hell do I do I am so confused and I really am like a fish out of water with this. Has anybody else heard of this or come across this before? Please help if you can offer advice I would be grateful.
Many Thanks
KRH1973

What do you mean he dresses like one? Can you give examples of the degree to which he's taken this besides naps and dressing like one? Like, does he ask to be held...stop talking and suck on his thumb with a blanket...etc. What has he said about it to you?

krh1973 · Aug 09, 2013, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ocdwifeofsociopath

What do you mean he dresses like one? Can you give examples of the degree to which he's taken this besides naps and dressing like one? Like, does he ask to be held...stop talking and suck on his thumb with a blanket...etc. What has he said about it to you?

Hello thanks for the reply. However My wording wasn't great when I said nappies I meant diapers. My son has bought adult sized baby clothes and he wears these that is what I meant by dressing as a baby. I'm sorry because I am new to this I didn't read properly before posting. I hope this clears the misunderstanding. thanks krh1973

lynn P. · Aug 09, 2013, 06:29 PM

Welcome to PC krh1973. Sounds like your son has a diaper/baby fetish. I'm surprised he's comfortable doing this around family but guess its better than finding it out by accident. There was thread on this topic, which talks about this extensively. What should you do - I'm not sure. Usually this is a sexual type fetish - this arouses them when they wear diapers and baby clothes.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/sexua...fetishism.html

MarlboroChick · Aug 09, 2013, 06:32 PM

I used to know someone that has a sexual fetish like this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paraphilic_infantilism

When I was a sex worker, I went to a clients house and when I went inside, his entire house was decked out in...baby apparel? There were cribs obviously manufactured for this purpose, and I saw clothes laying around the house like oversized baby clothes. So its not unheard of at all. As far as i understand, though, its usually something someone does with a partner and not with their family. Not sure. Anyways I thought id give some input.

Poppy Princess · Aug 09, 2013, 07:03 PM

To be honest, I'd probably just hit him over the head.

lynn P. · Aug 09, 2013, 07:08 PM

I've been thinking - wouldn't advise getting mad or doing any kind of punishment for this behavior. Usually fetishes are hidden out of fear of rejection. Punishment would just force him to do it privately and probably fuel the fetish more. Maybe just see if he loses interest. As long as this doesn't interfere with the overall well being of your son and family....try to be patient.

krh1973 · Aug 09, 2013, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

Welcome to PC krh1973. Sounds like your son has a diaper/baby fetish. I'm surprised he's comfortable doing this around family but guess its better than finding it out by accident. There was thread on this topic, which talks about this extensively. What should you do - I'm not sure. Usually this is a sexual type fetish - this arouses them when they wear diapers and baby clothes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarlboroChick

I used to know someone that has a sexual fetish like this.

When I was a sex worker, I went to a clients house and when I went inside, his entire house was decked out in...baby apparel? There were cribs obviously manufactured for this purpose, and I saw clothes laying around the house like oversized baby clothes. So its not unheard of at all. As far as i understand, though, its usually something someone does with a partner and not with their family. Not sure. Anyways I thought id give some input.

Thank you both for the replies he tells me he has no sexual feeling in it at all? I am not making my house into a giant nursery no way.. I also can't believe he was as open with it. Although my wife may have had something to do with it. I believe she made him tell me. I suppose it was her way of saying it was better to be told than found out. I still can't get my head round it though..
Thanks krh1973

krh1973 · Aug 09, 2013, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I've been thinking - wouldn't advise getting mad or doing any kind of punishment for this behavior. Usually fetishes are hidden out of fear of rejection. Punishment would just force him to do it privately and probably fuel the fetish more. Maybe just see if he loses interest. As long as this doesn't interfere with the overall well being of your son and family....try to be patient.

Thanks I will bare that in mind :

MarlboroChick · Aug 09, 2013, 07:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krh1973

Thank you both for the replies he tells me he has no sexual feeling in it at all? I am not making my house into a giant nursery no way.. I also can't believe he was as open with it. Although my wife may have had something to do with it. I believe she made him tell me. I suppose it was her way of saying it was better to be told than found out. I still can't get my head round it though..
Thanks krh1973

Good idea right there. It was shocking. I guess its possible hes doing it because, now that hes getting older, responsibilities are piling and he wants to 'escape' to a time where there was no responsibility. Not my own thinking, have read a little on it. Id still be suspicious that it was a fetish--not that its really any of your business if it is, at this point, unless its affecting your life.

lizardlady · Aug 10, 2013, 04:40 PM

I'm going to come from a different perspective than most of the others. You said he is 17. Could it be that he is suddenly overwhelmed by the prospect of becoming an adult and wants to regress to an age when he was safe, didn't have any responsibilities and someone else took care of him?

Along that line, has there been any major change if life either for him or for the family? For instance, is he about to graduate high school or start college? Is he moving out of the house soon? That sort of thing....

krh1973 · Aug 11, 2013, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lizardlady

I'm going to come from a different perspective than most of the others. You said he is 17. Could it be that he is suddenly overwhelmed by the prospect of becoming an adult and wants to regress to an age when he was safe, didn't have any responsibilities and someone else took care of him?

Along that line, has there been any major change if life either for him or for the family? For instance, is he about to graduate high school or start college? Is he moving out of the house soon? That sort of thing....

Hi lizardlady.
Thanks for the well thought out reply I can't think of anything that would be as a trigger. Although his brothers tell me that they have known about it sometime and it's not just overnight it happened. I really don't know what the root cause is but I sure do hope it's a fad or something that he will grow out of...
Thanks krh1973

krh1973 · Aug 11, 2013, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarlboroChick

Good idea right there. It was shocking. I guess its possible hes doing it because, now that hes getting older, responsibilities are piling and he wants to 'escape' to a time where there was no responsibility. Not my own thinking, have read a little on it. Id still be suspicious that it was a fetish--not that its really any of your business if it is, at this point, unless its affecting your life.

Hi MarlboroChick
Thanks for the reply however I agree it would be none of business except that he wants to be a baby at home when we are all there. That does really affect our life well mine anyway. My wife and other sons not concerned at all...
Thanks again krh1973

krh1973 · Aug 21, 2013, 05:25 PM

Hey all.
Since my last post Mathew has decided to purchase some baby items like a new highchair and crib, I don't think this is something that is going away too quickly. My wife still is not bothered. The same goes for his siblings they all are of the mind that if that's what he wants then let him be. Am I wrong? The rest of the family think I'm being old fashioned. They tell me to chill out. I can't help but question? Any suggestions greatly accepted. I did read the post previously posted by Lynn P in which she linked a previous thread started by unconstruct. While this was somewhat informative it doesn't rally help with the dilemma I find myself in. How am I supposed to turn a blind eye or even take any active role in this. I am somewhat worried and confused and also angry.
Many thanks in advance krh1973

hannabee · Aug 21, 2013, 05:58 PM

Ok so having NEVER heard of this I did some research and it seems it could come from problems with potty training. Actually glad this came up and I'm going to remember this when it becomes time to train my grandson. I hope you can learn to accept this, but sorry, I think I might seek mental health treatment for him. Just my opinion, don't mean to offend anyone.

lynn P. · 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krh1973

Hey all.
Since my last post Mathew has decided to purchase some baby items like a new highchair and crib, I don't think this is something that is going away too quickly. My wife still is not bothered. The same goes for his siblings they all are of the mind that if that's what he wants then let him be. Am I wrong? The rest of the family think I'm being old fashioned. They tell me to chill out. I can't help but question? Any suggestions greatly accepted. I did read the post previously posted by Lynn P in which she linked a previous thread started by unconstruct. While this was somewhat informative it doesn't rally help with the dilemma I find myself in. How am I supposed to turn a blind eye or even take any active role in this. I am somewhat worried and confused and also angry.
Many thanks in advance krh1973

I understand how conflicted you must feel and can see how the other thread doesn't help you from a parents perspective. I wanted you to read it, so you could understand the fetish more. I think it might be helpful to handle this from the view - this is a private fetish he should use discretion with. Most people don't share this fetish with loved ones unless its a partner who accepts it. Your son needs to accept this is you /your wifes house and you don't appreciate baby furniture being set up and you also don't want him to do this around the family. How on earth is he going to sit n a highchair?

For example if your son likes snakes or guns but another family member isn't comfortable ...then he shouldn't buy guns/snakes. If you and your wife are into being swinging - you're not about to bring the couples into your house. If he wants to wear diapers in private, then fine but he needs to do it in private minus the furniture. No I don't think you're old fashioned - this doesn't fall under that category lol.

krh1973 · Aug 22, 2013, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hannabee

Ok so having NEVER heard of this I did some research and it seems it could come from problems with potty training. Actually glad this came up and I'm going to remember this when it becomes time to train my grandson. I hope you can learn to accept this, but sorry, I think I might seek mental health treatment for him. Just my opinion, don't mean to offend anyone.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lynn P.

I understand how conflicted you must feel and can see how the other thread doesn't help you from a parents perspective. I wanted you to read it, so you could understand the fetish more. I think it might be helpful to handle this from the view - this is a private fetish he should use discretion with. Most people don't share this fetish with loved ones unless its a partner who accepts it. Your son needs to accept this is you /your wifes house and you don't appreciate baby furniture being set up and you also don't want him to do this around the family. How on earth is he going to sit n a highchair?

For example if your son likes snakes or guns but another family member isn't comfortable ...then he shouldn't buy guns/snakes. If you and your wife are into being swinging - you're not about to bring the couples into your house. If he wants to wear diapers in private, then fine but he needs to do it in private minus the furniture. No I don't think you're old fashioned - this doesn't fall under that category lol.

Thank you to both of you for the replies.
I do know that this is wrong on so many levels in our home. I cannot understand why he wants to do it at home in front of us all in the first place. He doesn't want any of us to change him or dress him. He wants to be fed or allowed to sit in his highchair in our presence dressed as a baby. I know he needs help but getting others on side to help me convince may be more difficult...By the way he does fit this highchair apparently not that i myself have seen it but his brothers have.
Thanks again both of you advice greatly appreciated.

MarlboroChick · Aug 22, 2013, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krh1973

Thank you to both of you for the replies.
I do know that this is wrong on so many levels in our home. I cannot understand why he wants to do it at home in front of us all in the first place. He doesn't want any of us to change him or dress him. He wants to be fed or allowed to sit in his highchair in our presence dressed as a baby. I know he needs help but getting others on side to help me convince may be more difficult...By the way he does fit this highchair apparently not that i myself have seen it but his brothers have.
Thanks again both of you advice greatly appreciated.

I would tell him, that if he wants to do this, he has to do it out of your house. He can have his own fetishes and keep them to himself and or/with people that dont mind or like it. There isnt any reason that you should have to deal with it in YOUR home if it makes you uncomfortable. Im surprised the rest of your family is so tolerant. If my brother did that I wouldnt even know what to think. I dont think somethings wrong with him, but i dont think your 'wrong' either. If you dont want the furniture in your house tell him to get it out or throw it away.

krh1973 · Aug 23, 2013, 05:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarlboroChick

I would tell him, that if he wants to do this, he has to do it out of your house. He can have his own fetishes and keep them to himself and or/with people that dont mind or like it. There isnt any reason that you should have to deal with it in YOUR home if it makes you uncomfortable. Im surprised the rest of your family is so tolerant. If my brother did that I wouldnt even know what to think. I dont think somethings wrong with him, but i dont think your 'wrong' either. If you dont want the furniture in your house tell him to get it out or throw it away.

Hi MarlboroChick.
Thanks Although your point is valid and true how can I get my wife to agree with me and his brothers too I seem to be the only one in the household that thinks this way. Thanks Again krh1973

MarlboroChick · Aug 23, 2013, 09:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by krh1973

Hi MarlboroChick.
Thanks Although your point is valid and true how can I get my wife to agree with me and his brothers too I seem to be the only one in the household that thinks this way. Thanks Again krh1973

It's probably something youll have to talk with her about. If it makes you really uncomfortable, like a PP said, she (and the rest of the family) needs to tell him that its not OK for him to act like that. It sounds like you have a really tolerant family. Am not sure how youll be able to communicate that to her; you know her a bit better then me haha.

cnfused.girl · Aug 23, 2013, 09:59 PM

I think he's just telling you he needs some more attention.
point blank period because he knows it's not typical for a 17 year old to do these things. He just wants you to notice him. Dad do you work a lot? That may be the problem.

Travelinglady · Aug 25, 2013, 11:42 AM

Have you considered making an appointment with a therapist (ideally one who deals with teens) yourself and seeing what a professional says about whether this baby thing is okay or does need intervention on? At least you would have some support or might feel better.

BlueInanna · Aug 26, 2013, 02:01 PM

Wow - not intending to minimize your suffering - but this sounds like something out of a movie. I have been through hell & back with my teens. To think I had a problem when their wearing pajamas to school became a fad... Then they were on drugs and wearing baby binky necklaces and sucking on them - like all the kids were doing that a few years ago.

You haven't mentioned drugs - is it a possibility? Are attention seeking & shock value a possibility? Kids do weird things to rebel... My daughter rebelled my rainbow hippy ways by wearing all black, dying her blonde hair black, listening to black metal & wearing inverted pentagrams ughh

.

My kids also have mental health issues like me - bipolar mainly. If I were you, I'd be worried, I'm a worrier. Idk if I'd run him to doctors or play along like I'm not shocked coddle him make him only allowed to watch Winnie the Pooh set strict nap & bedtimes canned baby food only and hope he gets this attention he needs & finds a new interest.... ??

krh1973 · Aug 26, 2013, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Have you considered making an appointment with a therapist (ideally one who deals with teens) yourself and seeing what a professional says about whether this baby thing is okay or does need intervention on? At least you would have some support or might feel better.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cnfused.girl

I think he's just telling you he needs some more attention.
point blank period because he knows it's not typical for a 17 year old to do these things. He just wants you to notice him. Dad do you work a lot? That may be the problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueInanna

Wow - not intending to minimize your suffering - but this sounds like something out of a movie. I have been through hell & back with my teens. To think I had a problem when their wearing pajamas to school became a fad... Then they were on drugs and wearing baby binky necklaces and sucking on them - like all the kids were doing that a few years ago.

You haven't mentioned drugs - is it a possibility? Are attention seeking & shock value a possibility? Kids do weird things to rebel... My daughter rebelled my rainbow hippy ways by wearing all black, dying her blonde hair black, listening to black metal & wearing inverted pentagrams ughh

.

My kids also have mental health issues like me - bipolar mainly. If I were you, I'd be worried, I'm a worrier. Idk if I'd run him to doctors or play along like I'm not shocked coddle him make him only allowed to watch Winnie the Pooh set strict nap & bedtimes canned baby food only and hope he gets this attention he needs & finds a new interest.... ??

Hi all thanks for the input and I'll answer as best I can. I don't work long hours. I have spoken to a psychiatrist on the quiet just for some advice I have been told there is a possibility he will outgrow this and that as was said in one of your replies teenagers rebel a lot. I was also told that I cannot make him stop he has to want to himself. Which is the problem. My wife seems under the impression he will stop in his own good time and more or less said the same as the last comment. Treat him as a baby. Definitely no drugs involved thank god bad enough as it is. I myself cannot understand it I don't know what to do.
Thanks
krh1973

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