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probs
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Member Since Jan 2014
Location: Houston
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Default Jan 21, 2014 at 01:01 AM
  #1
I am not a parent but please keep reading !

I am a 22 year old male with a associates degree in science and currently in the pursuit for my bachelors in business. I have a clean record, working on great credit, and save aggressively for my future. I have all the common responsibilities (car note/ insurance/ fulltime job/ phone bill/401k/etc.) a 22 year old would have. What I am trying to state is that I am a very responsible young man that wants a bright future! I have a Girlfriend whom iv been dating for a lil over 3 years (she is also 22) and I am deeply in love with her! she is everything every guy wants! Great morals, respectful, responsible, trustworthy, goal driven, intelligent, full of love to give, and as an added bonus she gorgeous ! Honestly I can go on and on about how great she is but that's not the point.

Her parents; great people, raised the amazing women who I have the honor to call my GF. They have a strong belief in the term "family comes first" they treat me like a son of there own! always showing my love and letting me know the are happy im with there daughter.

problem; they treat us like we are kids

~ curfew (Friday 10pm /Saturday 12am/Sunday before dark)
~ every time we leave her zip code we have to let her parents know
~ they check in on us every hour or so with a phone call
~ cant sleep under the same roof (had to sleep in cars plenty of times)
~ we are allowed one big event a month (by big event I mean the club)
~ we cant travel together
~ the list keeps going and it just gets worse!

ALSO the only way out of her house is by marriage !

those rules come with threats! if I brake a rule I will be "taken care of" iv been in the family long enough to know that means ill get beat up. And its no bluff iv seen it happen ! iv also heard things. Her dad and her uncles will all "take care" of me if I break a rule! That honestly scares me. So I don't break the rules its very simple ! I love her enough to follow the rules so no worries. It sucks really bad but o well. Don't forget guys we are both 22 and have been dating for a lil over 3 years.

turning point smh

my GF has a lil sister (17) who has just announced that she is pregnant with the baby of a guy who she has just started dating, has no job, doesn't go to school, and has no bright future ahead of him (in my opinion). now in my head im thinking "omg the parents are going to go ape **** and all hell is going to break loose" boy was I wrong. Of course they got mad , screamed and yelled! But now they have decided that they are going to give them a wedding, let her move in with him at his parents house, and no consequence given at all, just a "welcome to the family". NOW I KNOW the biggest consequence of all is having to raise a kid at the age of 18 I get that. BUT all those threats I got were bull! I never wanted to show up late because that meant I couldn't see her the next weekend. I could never lie because if I was caught in a lie that was immediate termination from the family and an *** whopping.

now im not going to do what everyone thinks im going to do!

I don't want run away with my gf, I don't want to move in together, I don't want to have kids anytime soon, and im just not ready to get married. what im ready for is to be treated like an adult! live a normal 22 yr old life! enjoy my youth before its too late ! my gf doesn't want to talk to her parents about this because she doesn't want to add more stress with everything that's going on.

I don't want to be rude, I don't want to be dis respectful, I have no plans on using the pregnant sister and throwing it in there face. I just want to respectfully tell them we deserve to be treated like adults! but how? is it too soon? they did just find out there 17 yr old is pregnant. but when is the right time? whens the right time to tell them we are responsible young adults who want to enjoy there youth! HELP iv made it to this forum because im desperate ! i just want to be treated fairly
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Default Jan 21, 2014 at 12:57 PM
  #2
Quote:
Originally Posted by probs View Post

~ curfew (Friday 10pm /Saturday 12am/Sunday before dark)
~ every time we leave her zip code we have to let her parents know
~ they check in on us every hour or so with a phone call
~ cant sleep under the same roof (had to sleep in cars plenty of times)
~ we are allowed one big event a month (by big event I mean the club)
~ we cant travel together
~ the list keeps going and it just gets worse!
  1. Their house, their rules. I wouldn't care if it was my grandparents, but I wouldn't want them coming and going at all hours of the night waking me up.
  2. You must live in a small town. There are quite a few zip codes just in our city. But I can understand them wanting to know where you guys will be since you're coming back to their house. That way they have an idea of when to expect you. Although zip codes is weird. How about just telling them where you'll be?
  3. Okay, that's just some clingy garbage there. That's like abusive boyfriend stalker stuff.
  4. While not sleeping under the same roof is a bit much to me, I can see some people not being comfortable with an unmarried couple bumping uglies in their house. "Hey Chuck! Guess what I did to your daughter last night!"
  5. You guys are 22, they need to respect that you can go to the Comedy Club without an adult. Next it will be "No R-rated movies".
  6. Huh? Probably falls under the "Hey Chuck!" thing again in their minds.

Overall, has she considered moving out? If you both had your own places, then it's your rules on what you both do. I think that would be the best thing myself.

Oh, and as far as this goes:
Quote:
... termination from the family and an *** whopping.
If someone really threatened you like that remind them that if they even consider laying their hands on you there will be consequences. (Police, an ***whooping in return, whatever works for you.) Don't put up with bullying like that.
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