[Smileonmyface]

it is my sweet, loveable, fun loving daughter's fourth birthday today. while i have come to terms with not having any friends in real life that i can see or talk to and the likelihood that i probably never will, it saddens me that we have no one to celebrate with. no other kids to invite over. the highlight of our day will most likely be our visit from the family center lady who brings over toys and costumes to play my kids adore her. and later we will go to mcdonalds playland where she will follow other kids around like a hopeful puppy and hopefully they will play with her.
i don't believe it is for lack of trying. i gave out our number to all the parents at her preschool for summer "playdates" but that didn't pan out as no one has called.
i can only hope that as she gets older, her social skills surpass mine and she will make her own friends in spite of her mother's social rejection.
a happy day. wish it didn't have this sadness looming in the background.

[gayleggg]

It is dishearthening when we feel that we aren't doing enough for our children. However, you are doing your best and carrying her to McDonalds playland may give her a chance to play with other children.

How is she doing in preschool? Is she outgoing with the other children? Is she making friends. If so then you probably don't need to worry.

As parents all we can do is our best and it sounds like you have done your best to make her birthday a pleasant one. Don't be so hard on yourself.

When my daughter was young I kept her at home until she went to preschool she didn't have any friends to start with but quickly made her own friends. Her lack of friends before preschool never really caused a problem. Anyway, this is just to show you that lack of friends at an early age doesn't mean it will always be like that.

Have a fun day with your daughter. She will remember the good times the two of you have had.

[Smileonmyface]

Thanks Gayle she did well in school made friends but it never branched out to outside of school. She loves other kids that is why I feel sad for her and blame this on me. Will try my best to make it a good day. Thank you for the kind words ��

[Travelinglady]

I never had a birthday party with friends over because my mother didn't feel comfortable with such things. But I have plenty of friends now and they have helped me celebrate my birthday.

As she gets older, she might ask to bring friends home. Take her out and have a good time, like to places such as McDonald's, as was suggested. I lived vicariously through having parties for my boys. My husband offered lots of support.

[Bad_Wolf]

Originally Posted by Smileonmyface

it is my sweet, loveable, fun loving daughter's fourth birthday today. while i have come to terms with not having any friends in real life that i can see or talk to and the likelihood that i probably never will, it saddens me that we have no one to celebrate with. no other kids to invite over. the highlight of our day will most likely be our visit from the family center lady who brings over toys and costumes to play my kids adore her. and later we will go to mcdonalds playland where she will follow other kids around like a hopeful puppy and hopefully they will play with her.
i don't believe it is for lack of trying. i gave out our number to all the parents at her preschool for summer "playdates" but that didn't pan out as no one has called.
i can only hope that as she gets older, her social skills surpass mine and she will make her own friends in spite of her mother's social rejection.
a happy day. wish it didn't have this sadness looming in the background.

Man, can I ever relate to this. I have a two year old and he has no friends either, nor has he been properly socialized mostly due to my own problems with social anxiety. I'm hoping daycare will alleviate that problem next year, but the thought of hosting huge birthday parties scares the living daylights out of me. He was invited to a neighbor's party several months ago, and my mother in law had to take him bc I was too scared. It was rather pitiful. I feel like a failure of a mom, but at the same time, I know I'm doing the best I can. And kids are going to do what they do. I don't recall having any kind of party except with family until I was about 6 or 7. It rained that day, I'll never forget. No one showed bc of it. I got over it though. I think things will work themselves out as they flow into your life. I mean, kids are a force of nature. There's no stopping what is going to happen, no matter what your issues are. You just have to roll with the punches. She's going to make friends, and she's going to have little parties, so no worries. Maybe she just hasn't found her place yet, but it will happen. Scares the bejesus out of me lol.

[healingme4me]

I will point out, the age. I've found elementary school more of branching out, but there lies bday party struggles with three. My oldest, I could toss a party and get plenty of response, with an early March bday. My middle is right next to the Columbus Day long weekend, forget it, might get a couple of people, also coincides with collegiate homecoming where people visit alma matas. And my youngest, hit or miss due to early January and weather conditions.

I find the 'just us' birthdays relaxed, they love their days, pick your restaurant, and relax...it came to being this way because of fairness...

[Smileonmyface]

thanks everyone. i can relate to what you each said. i got them to mcdonalds yesterday afternoon and she had fun. there were a couple of kids there she played with, nothing earth shattering, came home and had cake and she was so done lol. me too, i was completely birthdayed out lol.

bad wolf, it is great to meet another mom with similar issues i so often feel alone in this.

and healingmeforme, that is comforting, your family sounds lovely and those birthdays sound perfect.

thank you for making me feel so much less alone.

[healingme4me]

Glad it went well. It's too easy to have guilt when parenting. A parents worry never ends.