FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
|
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#1
I am a mom who, along with her children were victimized by their father by systematically brainwashing (and other techniques) the children from a young age. There are resources for men if it is the woman doing the alienating. I need support and I'm wondering if there are others like me who also need support, education and help from others in coping with this tragic loss. Sometimes, the syndrome can be reversed if it is dealt with early on. There are many resources I can share with men and women like myself. It is a very isolating and demeaning experience. Many parents who are, along with their children, victimized, tend to remain silence about what has or is being done to them. I would like help to make this a separate topic heading, since it is so prevalent. Many people say they've never heard of this, and they are being honest. Silence is devastating lives. I will provide references and resources, including information given to me by a leading psychologist in Texas, USA if there is interest. I hope I'm not the only one breaking the silence on this terrible, potentially life destroying experience.
__________________ peej |
Reply With Quote |
Anonymous37904, Anonymous59898, Cdogger76, JackieBlue, Mike_J, MsLady, Travelinglady
|
Cdogger76, Chimney, JackieBlue, Mike_J, Skeezyks
|
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#2
I want to give a resource for men experiencing this destructive attack on their relationship with their children: Google "shrink4men.com". I hope it helps.
__________________ peej |
Reply With Quote |
Chimney, Mike_J, Skeezyks, Verity81
|
Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
(SuperPoster!)
8 17.4k hugs
given |
#3
Hello peejcrafter: Well... the Skeezyks would have to admit he is one of those people you mentioned who's never heard of this. Perhaps you might consider posting a bit more about it. Maybe it could become a social group.
__________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
Reply With Quote |
Refuse2Sink
|
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
peejcrafter __________________ peej |
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#5
You are both very welcome. there is a support group on Facebook that is particularly helpful to many people if you are interested.
__________________ peej |
Reply With Quote |
Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 1,459
10 202 hugs
given |
#6
Thank you for the resource my husband is currently going through this with his ex. His youngest is being kept away from us because the older one has chosen to live with us since she has experienced a lot of emotional abuse at her mums.
We are currently going through court proceedings but it could take months before we see the youngest. They are both girls by the way. The oldest is also getting mental health support because of the abuse. We know his ex is trying to alienate us as when we call the youngest she is being told what to say in the background and says she doesn't want to see us, yet when her dad meets her at school she gives him the biggest hug. She is only 8 __________________ Verity |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Mar 2016
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 260
8 |
#7
P.A.S. Is something that I had never heard of before today...(just recently, I started a new daily goal: to learn five new things every day. This will be my first for the day, thank you!) I decided to google "PAS", to learn more about it...seems that I have heard of this in the past. In the case study that I am familiar with, a man turned his son against his own mother, teaching the child to verbally, psychologically, and physically abuse the mother. In this particular case, he abused her on video tape. It was shocking. As a survivor of domestic abuse, I realize just how bad an abuser can ruin your life. It can take years to even begin to heal from just a few months of abuse. Have you spoken to a therapist about PAS? Good luck to you and let us know how things are holding up for you.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Addiction Recovery, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, OCD. |
Reply With Quote |
Infamous Vampire Duck
Community Liaison
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Mid West
Posts: 12,742
(SuperPoster!)
14 961 hugs
given |
#8
PAS is very real, and as bad as it is on the effected parent, it is SO much worse on the child in the long run.
My ex started a systematic program of alienate my daughter from me a year before the word divorce was ever mentioned. It was part of her very well extensive plan to screw me over in every possible way, I mean who plans a divorce in secret for over a year? Thanks peejcrafter for bringing up this important subject, and I am SO sorry you are having to go through this. __________________ “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
Reply With Quote |
peejcrafter
|
Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2015
Location: philadelphia
Posts: 675
8 22 hugs
given |
#9
Mom, seek help first try to fix you first then worry about the children later on. That is the approach I have taken. I know your probably really busy but it might be too much to family therapy all of you when you individual needs. Of course, each individual situation is different. Practice forgiveness, because ultimately if you haven't already tried to convicted him using the court police it is a little too late for that. Remember if the children has contact with one that is resistant then you always run the risk of the children still being exposed to some of that parental ways who are too conceited to see what is actually hurtful.
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#10
Quote:
My husband prepared affidavits, and other documents with false information and lying parents 3 years before divorce was mentioned. He spent a lot of his parents money and had 2 lawyers! My lawyer took one look at the document and gave me that information. He said it had to have taken 3 years to put all of it together. In the meantime he was seeing his girlfriend! They even took my daughters to a block party while I was at work on a Saturday. He was drunk when they finally arrived home. Damn drunk driver with my kids in it. The daughters had a gift each from his girlfriend, who they called their friend. __________________ peej |
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#11
Dear Metalchick,
I feel sad when people lie yourself post experiences I wish only I have to live with. i'm so sorry for your pain. __________________ peej Last edited by peejcrafter; Nov 05, 2016 at 10:04 AM.. Reason: forgot to reference |
Reply With Quote |
Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2016
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 535
8 |
#12
My father did this to me and my 2 siblings.
After 20 years, i no longer have contact with him or them and me and my mom are best friends. It was awful the things he tried to brainwash me into thinking. I lived with him for 4 years and didnt talk to my mom. But once i left his home i saw what he was doing and got really close to my mom. I cant even believe the horrible ways he tried to make me think my mom was the devil and he family was crazy. Turns out he was a controlling narsiccist, not her. Sent from my SM-N920V using Tapatalk |
Reply With Quote |
New Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: San Antonio Texas
Posts: 2
3 |
#13
I am dismayed that the DSM-5 rejected this as a diagnosis by agreeing with propaganda in fear of what could happen in the future, instead of paying attention to what's already happened and how it's clearly been documented all over the world simultaneously by individual scientists unbeknownst to each other. 1985, I might as well be the poster child for this very real mental illness. Every single symptom and all the criteria live within me. I just found out about it today. It explains everything. I've been on a search my whole life trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I feel like my arms and legs have been cut off and by denying pas by the dsm makes me feel like they are still asking me to run a marathon. So what is a 45 year old misfit who will never have children or any friends or any significant relationships or be able to have any type of career supposed to do next? How dare they deny my long lived reality?
|
Reply With Quote |
catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given |
#14
peejcrafter, Hi! I'm confused...you haven't had any contact with your daughter since she was five years old, then she called you?
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 48,148
(SuperPoster!)
13 22.9k hugs
given |
#15
Hey, peej! Good to hear you're here again. Thanks for the help for people with this problem.
|
Reply With Quote |
Poohbah
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: uk
Posts: 1,459
10 202 hugs
given |
#16
Myself and my husband are still struggling with PAS, the biomum is still alienating the youngest from us and the rest of our family. We have a solicitors apt this Monday and have the court forms mostly completed. The mother's last antics was to try and change the youngest schools so she went to a school far from us! thank God I found out about it and we wrote to the school saying as my husband has parental responsibility the move cannot happen without his consent! The mother rang him fuming! I cannot believe it! the oldest one lives with us and she wanted to move her sister away from her! Its all so upsetting I sometimes worry It will trigger my depression. ugh!
__________________ Verity |
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: USA
Posts: 64
7 26 hugs
given |
#17
I want to say that I can relate. I was the child who was abused in this way. Caused so much pain and many issues. Won't go into too much more. Lots of bad things.
__________________ CHANTEL Current DX's (oldest to newest): •ADHD - 8 •MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER - 19 •PTSD/C-PTSD - 20 •ANOREXIA NERVOSA - 22 •PERSONALITY DISORDER NOS - 22 •FIBROMYALGIA/CFS - 24 •REYNAUDS DISEASE - 24 Un-DX but probable/almost definitely: •OSDD-1B (similar to DID) •DERMATOMILLOMANIA •OCD |
Reply With Quote |
peejcrafter
|
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#18
I cry when I read your post. I wish all parents going through PAS realize and acknowledge that children are equally victimized, and go through the rest of their lives damaged psychologically by their trusted parent. So sorry you have been so badly abused. peejcrafter
__________________ peej |
Reply With Quote |
Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Ri
Posts: 669
9 1 hugs
given |
#19
My kids father tells them crap about me...all i care about is money and I don't care about anyone and everyone hates me because all I care about is myself. He then tells them that he is a good person and cares about people. My kids are the ones who told me he said those things. I believe them because he has said those things to me.
|
Reply With Quote |
Member
Member Since Feb 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 67
17 1 hugs
given |
#20
Quote:
Remember you are NOT ALONE! peejcrafter __________________ peej |
|
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|