Was I in the wrong?

So, to make a long story short, my 21 year old daughter used to live with me and her younger sister, who is unemployed. We used to put our wages from work together to pay the bills and get necessities. However, we fell into a bad situation financially. I left to another state to get married, and she stayed behind to live with her dad, with whom I'm divorced.
I filed my daughter's taxes for her and added myself and her younger sister as a dependent. I'd figured we'd get a couple of thousand and we'd agreed we'd divide the refund three ways. However, it turned out the refund would be only a hundred dollars. So I added her younger brother, my youngest kid, as a dependent (he turned 18 this January) and the amount increased to 2,219. Afterwards, I let my daughter know I'd done that and that I'd be dividing it four ways now. She'd let me have her Netspend card when I left to another state. She'd had some pay from a part time side job that was supposed to be coming to that card, so she'd let me take it along so I could get and use the money. The tax refund was going to go to that card, and from there, I was going to send one fourth of it to her PayPal and one fourth to her brother and the rest would be for my younger daughter and myself. So she said ok.
Today, however, she contacted me saying that her father wasn't happy that we had claimed her younger brother without his permission because he has taken care of him for the past couple of years, not me. She said she and her father were requesting that I send 1,500 dollars of the refund to the checking account she currently uses. From there they said he would send me 1,000 through child support to me so he could get his driver's license, leaving her with the 500 I'd promised her. I said I had every right to file my youngest child because of the child support my ex owes me from when they were under 18 and has not paid to me. The tax money should be money for my children and myself, not him after his failure to pay child support. My daughter makes excuses for him, saying he's struggling financially, but I don't trust him to send the 1,000 because of all the child support he's failed to pay. She said she would personally send it to me and I said I felt that he might find some way of stopping her from sending it. She quietly said ok. Later on, however, I received a nasty message from her saying that we were in the wrong to claim her younger brother because we didnt take care of him, that it was her father's money since we'd used somebody he'd taken care of and it was her tax return and that I hadn't respected her wishes about her tax return by not sending the 1500. She said I'm taking the money I got by claiming her younger brother and saying it's because I'm owed child support, but yet her dad will continue to owe as much child support as before and I'm in the wrong for that. She said she does not want me filing her taxes anymore or using anymore of her information for anything, and not to do anything else in her name. The refund was deposited a half hour after she sent me that message, but when I tried to withdraw money, I was unable to. It seems she blocked the card or did something. She changed the password to her Turbotax so that I cannot get in. She's ignored my calls and messages. I dont know what theyre going to do with that money or whether they're going to send me anything at this point.
When your own child basically turns cold, nasty and stabs you in the back, your ex is hateful, the man you are married to treats you poorly, your two sons don't give a *** about you or whether you are dead or alive, what do you do? Just give up and wait for God to call you back? Should I give up on ever having anybody to love pr care for me? I dont know what I did to deserve this, but maybe this is my cross to bear.

If your son was living with his dad (not sure I completely understand the back story), then the dad should be the one claiming him as a dependent. Really, your taxes should be filed independently of your adult daughter. Y As far as the child support issue goes, that needs to be handled through your lawyers, not through the tax system. You've gotten your daughter caught up in the financial battle between you and your husband which is really not fair to her and I would guess it is painful for her to be stuck in the middle this way. It is probably important at this point in your adult childrens' lives that there be a financial boundary between all of you to lessen these kinds of complications.

�� you're right. I'm worth nothing. Maybe it's my time to go.

Cherry, lola was not placing any judgment on your worth. You asked if you were in the wrong. You committed tax fraud, so yes, you were in the wrong.

That doesn't mean you are a bad person or don't deserve to live. I have read a number of your posts now after our chat last night, and it's clear you are an individual who is in pain and hurting. We can offer a certain amount of support here, but I really urge you to seek out some resources in your area. I know you said you can't afford a therapist, but try looking into a local women's group or free mental health resources or even a church group. I don't want to push religion, but I know pastors and their wives often do counseling that can be helpful. At least you would have someone to talk to and help give you a new perspective.

Right now it seems you are very caught up in what has been done to you and what is happening to you, and not aware of how it is affecting your children, especially your oldest daughter, whom it appears you are on the verge of losing your relationship with. You obviously love her very much and don't want to lose the relationship, but you have to remember, she's your daughter, not your husband, not your sister, not your mother, not your friend. She's not responsible for your emotional needs or your financial needs. She is trying to put boundaries in place to keep your relationship as her mother safe, not to sabotage it.

Really, these issues need to be dealt with between you and your ex, and your daughter and other children need to be left out of it entirely.

Again, making a mistake doesn't make you a bad person, it just means you have room to learn and grow.

Seesaw