3yo is not happy about baby 😥

My DS is 3 1/2 years old and I have recently found I am pregnant with baby #2. I tried to explain to him today that I will be having another baby and that he will be a big brother. He was not happy to say the least and said things like "I will make the baby go away" & "If you have another baby I hate you". I was not expecting that kind of a reaction and have no idea how to respond. Someone please tell me this is a normal reaction and that there are ways to change his opinion.and prepare him for when the baby comes.

Pretty typical for the age, he is afraid that the new baby will get all the attention he gets right now.

My oldest DD was 3.5 when other DD came along. She kind of understood it but I don't think they can really grasp it until the sibling arrives. I'd say the reaction is quite normal.
A 3 yr rules the house, owns everything & competes for nothing. Now the tables r being turned...in their eyes.
Make them feel like they are a part of every step. Buying clothes, they can help pick, new car seat, color in a bedroom etc etc.
Also after the baby arrives do special one on one things with them so they know that special bond is still there & even stronger.

Sounds like a pretty typical 3-year-old to me: bossy, obstinate, wanting to be the center of attention. Don't get me wrong. I say that with great love for children, but 3-year-olds are a challenge. Everyone talks about the "terrible two's," but the reality is 2-year-olds may be a handful, but they don't really understand what they are doing; 3-year-olds are a handful and they DO know what they are doing.

Anyway, don't push it. Expect after the birth that she will either refuse to be in pictures with the baby or completely photobomb every picture because she doesn't want to be upstaged. It's all good, and all perfectly normal.

We were laughing at some old videos of our sons when they were little. There is a 6 year gap between my oldest two, and after my 2nd was born, my oldest was hugely jealous. He loved his baby brother, BUT, in every attempt to video the baby, the big brother was right in the middle of it telling us to get pictures of him. They are now adults and managed not to kill each other as they grew up; they are quite close (actually always were).

By the way, kids will throw the "I hate you" thing at their parents at least once in their lives (you're lucky if it is only once.) Grow a thick skin about such things; they are looking to get a rise out of you and as soon as they succeed they'll know to keep that weapon in their arsenal. Welcome to the world of parenting more than one child! Three is even more fun; they outnumber you. LOL!

I am worried about the part where he said he will make the baby go away. Sometimes he can get rough when he's angry so I'm worried might try hitting the baby or something like that. Although it's over 7 months away so I'm hoping he will be better with that by then. We definitely plan on spending time with him and making sure he doesn't feel left out. He has always been a bit of a trouble maker and a big handful so I'm just worried he might be mean to the baby and have been trying to find what I can do to try and prevent that, I got a few new ideas from your suggestions here so thank you all.

I am also worried about certain family members like my Mother who means well but does things like hug and kiss him when he says he doesn't want to at the moment then she does it anyways and that sort of thing really upsets him. I can see her saying something like "Do you like your new baby sister/brother? And he answers no then she says "that's not nice you have to love them because they are family your the big brother you have to be nice" and then start an argument with the kid. She does stuff like this all the time and really gets him going even though I've tried talking to her about it many times.

Don't know if this would be helpful, but my parents let my older brother pick my middle name to help him feel part of what was going on.

That's a nice Idea. Hopefully he won't say something random like flower lol. I might give him a small list of names he can pick from 😊

I recognize that as a society we are ingrained to panic at the slightest mention of violence from one child to another. At the same time, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. There's 2.7 years between my oldest to middle and 15months middle to youngest. (3.10 oldest to youngest) my oldest is 14 now. 14,11,10. He got over baby 2 rather quickly. DS2 is DS1's go to best friend during various moments. 2 and 3 are similar to twins due to the short gap.

It will work out, is what I'm hoping to convey.

Step one: acknowledge the guilt as it is. These are emotions siblings must feel for themselves. Not everything can be equal, but as long as there's fairness and love, it'll be fine.

And I agree, the age of 3 overshadows the supposed terrible 2s. Traumatic 3s as I used to call them...

Congratulations!

Thank you, We are very excited to be finally having a second. I hope it's true that it will work out. I'm sure it probably won't be as bad as I am thinking but I worry because he is bad at sharing and often tries to hit and kick other kids and gets mad at other kids easily. Hopefully it will have a positive effect on him and maybe having a sibling he will learn to get along better.

I have a lot of experience with children and I am concerned about your 3 year old's reaction to the prospect of having a baby sibling. I am also concerned about you labeling him as a 'troublemaker.' In my opinion, a 3 year old who acts out is upset about something(s). Some therapy (play therapy would be appropriate at his age) would be a great idea, I think.

Thank you! A lot of people say I just need to be more strict with him or that's just how 3 year olds are. I've been thinking for a while that there has to be some reason for his acting this way. To be honest he wasn't always like this. I feel like it's partly my own fault because we moved to a new city 7 months ago and a lot changed for us and he started acting out and between that and the move my own anxiety has gotten worse. I know there must be something I am doing wrong, something I am missing. I've wanted to get him to see a doctor but we have been on 2 waiting lists for months now and have not found a new family doctor in this new city. For my pregnancy I've been seeing doctors at clinics and the hospital in the weeks since I found out. We are hopeful to find someone very soon now.

How is it your fault if your child isn't perfectly happy and well behaved all the time? It's going to be a long uphill battle with the self torture you're placing yourself through. So, you moved? It will teach him skills about new surroundings, later on in life. Wasn't the move for everyone's best interests? Not just for placating him? He's not happy about not being the center of the universe with his soon to be sibling? He made an offhanded violent comment because that center of universe status is about to change?

He's 3 and you are beating yourself up over his moods? ��

In my own experience, as I was pregnant with my 2nd baby, my 4 year old son was very excited since he doesn't have playmate at home. He always hugs my tummy and keeps on saying I love you. As of now, my 2nd baby will be turning 5 months old already and my son's love on her did not fade. He loves to play with her sister and I don't see any problem with it. But, there are times that I can feel that he is somehow jealous at times and want to be the center of attention. He will just cry at the corner, I will know already that he also wants to be played as well. Its just normal though for toddler since they also needs special attention from their parents. I also don't let him feel that he is being left behind and as times like this like if he's feeling isolated, I will carry him and sing him a song then always reminds him that I love him and will forever be my baby boy.