A little advice...

I just wanted to remind parents that:
Kids, like men, are not mind readers
So, if you want something done around the house, you have to ask

Now, it depends on the kid if they say yes or no, but as for me and my brother and my friends too, if you ask, we'll do it for you, but none of this "Why didn't you do_____?" and then say "I shouldn't have to ask!" because well...how can we do something if we don't know you want us to do it? I don't think any child no matter how...not lazy they are is going to go "Man, I'm bored with all of these TV shows, Video Games, and hobbies of mine...I think I'm going to spend the day doing chores!" unless that's the kind of personality they have.

(PS: this is just a reminder because this has been happening to my friends and I the past couple of days)

((((((((((((((( kaika ))))))))))))

Thank you for the reminder, my mother did those kind of things to me and I really don't want to do that to my kids.

depending how old the kid is, it's reasonable to expect them to notice something is dirty and do some cleaning on their own. especially if it's their own laundry or own room. that's what you have to do as an adult, so reminding them that they are responsible for noticing these things is training them.

adult men don't have to be mind readers. they should know what needs doing in a house by virtue of being adults. there's no reason women should be the directors of all housework.

My 18 year still has to be told to clean his room, scrape the scraps off his plate and put it in the kitchen, pick up his dirties off the bathroom floor, well, everything really. But on Saturday mornings he helps me get the house in order so I can do something fun on the week end without spending too much time on housework, that ALMOST makes up for all the little things..... It's a little give and take on both sides.

Give and take it is...I almost screamed at my 12 yo dd tonight and asked that question, "Why didn't you put up the food," which was still sitting on the stove but decided it was not worth it and put it up myself...go figure!

That said, I agree why should I tell have to remind her to move something out of the middle of the floor so she doesn't trip on it or clean her room because she knows she has to do it every Saturday...or take her dishes down to the kitchen...or fix herself a snack or something to eat...but she's spoiled and wants me to fix it...most of the time I do...but sometimes she takes the initiative...so it is a little give and take...I agree!

TJ

Its the fault of the parents if they are brought up to pick things up and tidy up while they are young then you wont have to get on their backs when they are older.

I agree that no one is a mind reader and expectations should be made perfectly clear. But as stated, some thing should be done automatically. Kids need to be taught to pick up after themselves from toddler on. Some jobs have expanded expectations that my kids are perfectly aware of. For example if it is your turn to do dishes, this includes cleaning off counter tops, stove, sweeping the floor and taking out the trash if necessary. If my kids hear “why didn’t you…” it’s because they have made a decision not to do what they are supposed to.

Don’t forget, we were kids/teens too. Very rarely did my parents expect me to do something that I wasn’t fully aware that it was supposed to be done. If I did not do the chore it was because I was to lazy to do so. And that is what it boils down to, being lazy. Video games, friends, social outings aside, by the time you are a teen you should KNOW what is needed to be done to maintain a home. You know what a vacuum is and how to use it. Granted as a teen you and I may disagree on when it’s needed but if you and a dozen of your friends have tracked through the house to get to the game room, courtesy would dictate that these are your guests and you should clean up after them.

I know you probably don’t want to hear “back in my day” but back in my day if I wanted a special privilege such as staying out late or having a friend spend the night, I would do extra chores before making the request. I do not recall what I wanted to do, but I remember when I was about 12 I decided that I’d wax the kitchen floor to get my mom buttered up for the request. The problem was that I did not sweep properly and created a new 4 hour job for my mom to fix in the mean time.

FYI I rarely “ask” my kids to do anything. I’ve learned that “will you do the dishes” to them means someday. I tell them “it’s time to do the dishes”.

.... I am so screwed ... lol

And how!!!.. I Feel the same way.......

((((((( kaika ))))))))))))
You are very right. No one is a mind reader. Us adults as parents shoud never expect children to read minds. It does not work. Most kids know what they are suppose to do . once the parent had taught them
As with anyone in life .....no one can read minds awwww
your very wise
muffy