[summeryoga]

I had originally been pegged as having BPD but have recently been diagnosed instead as having HPD (with borderline features). Histrionic fits the bill ... to a tee.

When it was strictly BPD I thought I needed to cope with, I accepted it and embraced 'recovery' (for lack of a better term). I was on my way! DBT and the works ... But with this new diagnosis, I am TERRIFIED of dealing. I am REALLY scared to cope with this head-on, because so much of who I am and ever have been has been wrapped up in appearance, flirtation, seeking (male) attention, finding men to 'conquer', being the life of the party - so-to-speak, being sensual and dramatic ... I am truly afraid of who I would be - and if I would be cheerful and happy - without all of this. I know that for my marriage and for my children, I should change ... but this is how I have always been and I fear that I may be an empty, boring shell if I do change my HPD characteristics.

I don't know why I'm posting this ... maybe for words of encouragement, or perhaps to see if anyone out there has experienced anything like this ... maybe to vent. But I am standing on the edge of this cliff of dealing with HPD, and I am absolutely terrified of jumping into recovery.

Originally Posted by summeryoga

I had originally been pegged as having BPD but have recently been diagnosed instead as having HPD (with borderline features). Histrionic fits the bill ... to a tee.

When it was strictly BPD I thought I needed to cope with, I accepted it and embraced 'recovery' (for lack of a better term). I was on my way! DBT and the works ... But with this new diagnosis, I am TERRIFIED of dealing. I am REALLY scared to cope with this head-on, because so much of who I am and ever have been has been wrapped up in appearance, flirtation, seeking (male) attention, finding men to 'conquer', being the life of the party - so-to-speak, being sensual and dramatic ... I am truly afraid of who I would be - and if I would be cheerful and happy - without all of this. I know that for my marriage and for my children, I should change ... but this is how I have always been and I fear that I may be an empty, boring shell if I do change my HPD characteristics.

I don't know why I'm posting this ... maybe for words of encouragement, or perhaps to see if anyone out there has experienced anything like this ... maybe to vent. But I am standing on the edge of this cliff of dealing with HPD, and I am absolutely terrified of jumping into recovery.

my dear A....
wow it breaks my heart to read those words....that's the first thing that happened, I so badly want you to be unafraid and ok about this sudden change in direction.
damn it I am way out of my depth!...I don't know the specifics for a histrionic personality recovery....and as you say, the characteristics that define you as such are the things that add quality to your life...despite some dysfunction. but don't all people on earth have dysfunction?...sure they do!!
Certainly there are unhelpfull elements of this hpd that can be addressed over time A....and it must for sure be a total shock to be confronted by unknown challenges.
judging by the few that are in this forum then you are a very rare creature indeed....I see a beautiful and exotic creature...wild and charismatic, alive with personal energy!...I expect it may not be about a "recovery"....not for you...but perhaps something more like a
re-callibration of yourself...finding ways to capitalise on these wonderful qualities.....so that the other items you mentioned there perhaps won't affect you or the people you love, in ways that end up hurting you back. James is just guessing here A...forgive me. I care deeply for you.

I must do some research so I can better understand the little details, thats the second thing that happened.
..I am here for you A, to share the fear. yep.
enourmous hugs..James xxxxoooo

[summeryoga]

Originally Posted by dubblemonkey

my dear A....
wow it breaks my heart to read those words....that's the first thing that happened, I so badly want you to be unafraid and ok about this sudden change in direction.
damn it I am way out of my depth!...I don't know the specifics for a histrionic personality recovery....and as you say, the characteristics that define you as such are the things that add quality to your life...despite some dysfunction. but don't all people on earth have dysfunction?...sure they do!!
Certainly there are unhelpfull elements of this hpd that can be addressed over time A....and it must for sure be a total shock to be confronted by unknown challenges.
judging by the few that are in this forum then you are a very rare creature indeed....I see a beautiful and exotic creature...wild and charismatic, alive with personal energy!...I expect it may not be about a "recovery"....not for you...but perhaps something more like a
re-callibration of yourself...finding ways to capitalise on these wonderful qualities.....so that the other items you mentioned there perhaps won't affect you or the people you love, in ways that end up hurting you back. James is just guessing here A...forgive me. I care deeply for you.

I must do some research so I can better understand the little details, thats the second thing that happened.
..I am here for you A, to share the fear. yep.
enourmous hugs..James xxxxoooo

Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you, always, for your support, J. Yes ... do more research; you'll understand my nutty mind a wee bit better. Thank you again ... and again and again ... for the support and for the gi-normous hugs (felt 'em all the way on the other side of the planet!)

[I'mNotReal]

so much of who I am and ever have been has been wrapped up in appearance, flirtation, seeking (male) attention, finding men to 'conquer', being the life of the party - so-to-speak, being sensual and dramatic - Im not like this!!! Why did the doc say I am histrionic????

[OtherHPD]

Originally Posted by summeryoga

I had originally been pegged as having BPD but have recently been diagnosed instead as having HPD (with borderline features). Histrionic fits the bill ... to a tee.

When it was strictly BPD I thought I needed to cope with, I accepted it and embraced 'recovery' (for lack of a better term). I was on my way! DBT and the works ... But with this new diagnosis, I am TERRIFIED of dealing. I am REALLY scared to cope with this head-on, because so much of who I am and ever have been has been wrapped up in appearance, flirtation, seeking (male) attention, finding men to 'conquer', being the life of the party - so-to-speak, being sensual and dramatic ... I am truly afraid of who I would be - and if I would be cheerful and happy - without all of this. I know that for my marriage and for my children, I should change ... but this is how I have always been and I fear that I may be an empty, boring shell if I do change my HPD characteristics.

I don't know why I'm posting this ... maybe for words of encouragement, or perhaps to see if anyone out there has experienced anything like this ... maybe to vent. But I am standing on the edge of this cliff of dealing with HPD, and I am absolutely terrified of jumping into recovery.

Do you want to 'recover'? Or just maybe find a way to cope with some of the issues while keeping others?

[summeryoga]

Originally Posted by OtherHPD

Do you want to 'recover'? Or just maybe find a way to cope with some of the issues while keeping others?

I have to 'recover' ... for my husband and kids, and i s'pose for my self, too.

Originally Posted by summeryoga

I had originally been pegged as having BPD but have recently been diagnosed instead as having HPD (with borderline features). Histrionic fits the bill ... to a tee.

When it was strictly BPD I thought I needed to cope with, I accepted it and embraced 'recovery' (for lack of a better term). I was on my way! DBT and the works ... But with this new diagnosis, I am TERRIFIED of dealing. I am REALLY scared to cope with this head-on, because so much of who I am and ever have been has been wrapped up in appearance, flirtation, seeking (male) attention, finding men to 'conquer', being the life of the party - so-to-speak, being sensual and dramatic ... I am truly afraid of who I would be - and if I would be cheerful and happy - without all of this. I know that for my marriage and for my children, I should change ... but this is how I have always been and I fear that I may be an empty, boring shell if I do change my HPD characteristics.

I don't know why I'm posting this ... maybe for words of encouragement, or perhaps to see if anyone out there has experienced anything like this ... maybe to vent. But I am standing on the edge of this cliff of dealing with HPD, and I am absolutely terrified of jumping into recovery.

Hi honey,

Im glad that you've finally got to the bottom of your diagnosis. As you said, its a terrifying time but i would just encourage you to try and see this a great oppertunity to seize your life back. You are a wonderful woman - you make so many people on here so happy. You are seperate from your symptoms and nothing can take away the caring, lovely you. All the best sweetie, we're all rooting for you

[OtherHPD]

Originally Posted by summeryoga

I have to 'recover' ... for my husband and kids, and i s'pose for my self, too.

From what I have seen from all the 'recovered' HPD's it is a long hard road but the most important thing is to tackle it one thing at a time. You CAN'T make all the changes at once, it'll drive you crazy. One change at a time, get used to it and then move on.

[summeryoga]

Originally Posted by bb2023

Hi honey,

Im glad that you've finally got to the bottom of your diagnosis. As you said, its a terrifying time but i would just encourage you to try and see this a great oppertunity to seize your life back. You are a wonderful woman - you make so many people on here so happy. You are seperate from your symptoms and nothing can take away the caring, lovely you. All the best sweetie, we're all rooting for you

Thank you, you very sweet sweetheart ... XOOOOO

[summeryoga]

Originally Posted by OtherHPD

From what I have seen from all the 'recovered' HPD's it is a long hard road but the most important thing is to tackle it one thing at a time. You CAN'T make all the changes at once, it'll drive you crazy. One change at a time, get used to it and then move on.

Yeah, that's right on, T. I don't want my personality to change, though ... I want to be a people person, I want to be outgoing, playful, reasonably attractive, I want the attention- all of these things ... except I just don't want to be an unfaithful wife. But I don't even think I know what faithful or unfaithful means. Gotta learn that first, I suppose.

Thank you for your thoughts.

[OtherHPD]

Originally Posted by summeryoga

Yeah, that's right on, T. I don't want my personality to change, though ... I want to be a people person, I want to be outgoing, playful, reasonably attractive, I want the attention- all of these things ... except I just don't want to be an unfaithful wife. But I don't even think I know what faithful or unfaithful means. Gotta learn that first, I suppose.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Anytime, I have LOTS of thoughts on this.
I have great arguments for and against anything when it comes to HPD and 'recovery'. It's an individual experience. The more you understand HPD the more you understand yourself and the more you understand yourself the better you become at making the call on what you do and do not want to change.

[honeybee777]

Ive been diagnose with HPD for 5 years...

[honeybee777]

i was recentley diagnosed with HPD with aspd featuers, but was pegged as a BPD, its been a struggle to find out what the hell is wrong with me, I wish there was more information about this disoder.

[OtherHPD]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrio...ality_disorder

Will give you the best overview.

I think part of what makes us hard to diagnosis to begin with is that we combine a lot of other traits from other Axis II Cluster B PD's. I have very seldom heard of anyone with just a straight up diagnosis of HPD and not with any tendencies toward another cluster B PD. Come to think of it that may be the very reason HPD is being dropped from the DSM V. We may be flipped from HPD to a general Axis II Cluster B diagnosis with doctor notes on our various tendencies toward NPD ASPD and BPD.

[summeryoga]

Originally Posted by honeybee777

i was recentley diagnosed with HPD with aspd featuers, but was pegged as a BPD, its been a struggle to find out what the hell is wrong with me, I wish there was more information about this disoder.

omg, first off, that mm quote is me ... to a tee. ahh, beautiful hpd marilyn ...

well, honeybee, hpd is complicated, huh? the more i research it, the more it seems no one really understands it as well as other disorders. all the reading i do on it makes us out to look pretty evil, actually. all i know is that i fit the hpd criteria, with some minor exceptions, that i am not evil or terrible, and that it complicates my life terribly. bleh. i'm on a mission to try to see the good in this disorder ...

Originally Posted by summeryoga

i'm on a mission to try to see the good in this disorder ...

...I can easily see the good and the great and the awesome, in the 'person' with the dis-order A.......yep, yes mam!

no doubt about it!

J

[OtherHPD]

I don't think any of us are evil, we are just drawn that way LOL!

[honeybee777]

I know what unfaithful is....unfortunatley idk what faithful even means...ive been crazy my whole life, bad , I know now why, im just really trying to conmquer this disorder for my marriage and my kids.