[DocJohn]

Welcome to a safe place to discuss histrionic personality disorder and related issues:

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx17.htm

Enjoy,
DocJohn

[MacKLeo]

Hi,
I think that is is not a big issue and problem, is can be improved by a little effort only.

kim

[Curiousdude]

hey hey hey its me the crazy new guy just posting so i can get into the chat sorry people

[MacKLeo]

Hi,
Sorry dear i am also not in involving chatting with you, I think you are having some confusion or misunderstanding.

[deliquesce]

welcome to PC, curiousdude .

[mindi74]

I am new to this room too. I have Histrionic personality disorder. I am also looking for info on derealization. Anyone know anything?

[manio]

My husband also has traits of histrionic personality disorder along with alcoholism. Does anyone have a success story after therapy?

[Beesmom]

I have a daughter with histrionic disorder that is currently serving in the army. She is 21 years old. This was first noticed when she turned 14 years old. She is always seeking attention from everyone. Everyone is her best friend, but her family. Is it a good idea to tell the "friends " she has here? I was thinking of taking myself, and her older sisters and telling her so called friends out here. I am sick of her constant lying about us.

[honeybee777]

I have HPD and its a hard thing to cope with....when you finaily realize you do what you do, for love and attention, from anyone, the lying is a coping mechanism to seem more improtant, becasue you feel empty without the approval from someone else, the need for appreatation is the main thing, i started acting out about that age as well, 14 now Im 35, been therapy for years, was misdiagnosed for years, but good luck

[justforher]

I am not sure how to do this or what to say. My daughter is 13 yrs old, she is warm, caring, fiesty and so much fun, at least those are the postive twist I can put on things. She was diagnosised a few years ago with ADHD, but the medication and counseling has not been able to help her. A lot of her behavior has progressed to scary thing, she is right now in a residental program to try and straighten her out. At 12 yrs old she was having sex, doing drugs, drinking, sneaking out at night, had over 3000 friends on facebook (a lot of grown men she didnt know), putting up video and pictures of her in a bra and underwear, stealing and physically abusing me and her sister if we tried to say anything. Her counselor at the program has finally said she believes ADHD is not my daughters only issue, finally someone looking beyond so maybe my daughter can get help. I know diagnosis usually are done at an older age, but everything I have read about Histrionic Personality disorder screams my daughters name. I know I need an official doctor to finally listen and look at everything (although all they ask is if she is sleeping, eating, etc normal with her meds), but I want to help her....I want her to have everything she deserves. So I am here, to make myself more supportive and understanding for her. She does not feel her behavior is wrong at all and I am sure my constant frustration about what she does is not helping anything. Is there anything I could do/should do to be supportive and helpful? Also, a quick thank you....I quickly looked at some of the threads, it actually felt good...I felt some hope. If I can find someone that understands her maybe I can help her better.

[summeryoga]

Originally Posted by justforher

I am not sure how to do this or what to say. My daughter is 13 yrs old, she is warm, caring, fiesty and so much fun, at least those are the postive twist I can put on things. She was diagnosised a few years ago with ADHD, but the medication and counseling has not been able to help her. A lot of her behavior has progressed to scary thing, she is right now in a residental program to try and straighten her out. At 12 yrs old she was having sex, doing drugs, drinking, sneaking out at night, had over 3000 friends on facebook (a lot of grown men she didnt know), putting up video and pictures of her in a bra and underwear, stealing and physically abusing me and her sister if we tried to say anything. Her counselor at the program has finally said she believes ADHD is not my daughters only issue, finally someone looking beyond so maybe my daughter can get help. I know diagnosis usually are done at an older age, but everything I have read about Histrionic Personality disorder screams my daughters name. I know I need an official doctor to finally listen and look at everything (although all they ask is if she is sleeping, eating, etc normal with her meds), but I want to help her....I want her to have everything she deserves. So I am here, to make myself more supportive and understanding for her. She does not feel her behavior is wrong at all and I am sure my constant frustration about what she does is not helping anything. Is there anything I could do/should do to be supportive and helpful? Also, a quick thank you....I quickly looked at some of the threads, it actually felt good...I felt some hope. If I can find someone that understands her maybe I can help her better.

One thing stood out to me in this post: Her behavior is not 'wrong'; she is just sick.

I'm 37 and have had this probably since 14 or so. I wish my mom had not pegged me as 'bad'. I wish my mom had not condemned or judged me. I wish my mom had not seen my behavior as wrong or bad. I wish, instead, that she had listened to me. I wish that she had understood that my behavior was likely caused by never having felt loved or paid attention to. I wish instead she had talked to me openly and NONjudgmentally about sex and men. Most important, though, I wish that both my parents had taken the time to see me for me, to take me out one-on-one once in a while. I needed love, and the bottom line is, people with HPD felt or feel starved for love and affection. I wish my mom had loved me.

I hope this helps in some way. I'm happy to PM and answer any questions you might have. I'm also a high school teacher, and I work with tons of teenage girls, if that perspective might help as well.

[ilovedhim]

dealing with my husband that all of a sudden has issues that are surfacing and has ruined our marriage.

[nanrob]

Originally Posted by honeybee777

I have HPD and its a hard thing to cope with....when you finaily realize you do what you do, for love and attention, from anyone, the lying is a coping mechanism to seem more improtant, becasue you feel empty without the approval from someone else, the need for appreatation is the main thing, i started acting out about that age as well, 14 now Im 35, been therapy for years, was misdiagnosed for years, but good luck

I never realized I was seeking attention by the clothes and jewelry I wore. I never left the house without being "picture perfect". Yet, I'd come home feeling empty. I finally know why. I can now leave the house without my earrings matching the necklace, which matches my clothes and the interchangeable watch bands which, of course, matched everything. Sure has cut down on my shopping/spending! I had a garage sale and made over $100., selling matching sets of jewelry for $5.00.

[kala83]

I notice that my behavior much of the time is very attension seeking and flirticous and it needs to stop.

Its helped contribute to a sex addiction later on in my life and the side effects of having this personality disorder have not been a very good thing for me at all.

[seekingtruth86]

I just joined PC a few moments ago and don't know if you are still around or if you will get this. But I wanted to encourage you and praise you for being here as a Mother seeking to help her child.

I have not actually been diagnosed with HPD but everything I have read about it also screams my name (as it does your daughter). I am 27, and I can tell you that my enslaving craving for approval has led me into such destructive paths, that I recoil at the things I have done, and ways I have hurt the people I loved.
If I can help you to help your daughter in any way, in order to keep her from going down the paths that I have, and landing where I am today - I would definitely do that.

I also think that of all people, YOU as Mom is the IDEAL person to help your daugher. I know that a lot of my craving for attention and approval is due to a lack of positive affirmation and physical affection from my Mom. Maybe you did the best you knew with your daughter (and I feel confident about that because of the fact that you are actually HERE on these forums trying to help her). But maybe it is possible that you (or her Dad) weren't speaking your daughter's love language and though you tried to communicate your love for her, it was not actually received. Therefore, from her side of things, there may have been some degree of 'perceived' rejection. If your daughter is sleeping around with men, it is very likely she did not have the kind of affirmation and physical affection she needed from her Dad during her formative/developmental years.

I understand you can't exactly go back in time and do things differently. But I think the best you can do right now, is to continuously shower her with love. Go out with her alone and let her Dad go out with her as well (I really think it is important for her Dad to get involved with her life). Communicate in words, letters, cards etc that you love her and that nothing she has ever done, or can do will change that. Talk to her about men. Talk to her about what it means to be a lady. Take interest in the things she is interested in.

Someone once said that the more you love your child, the more you hate in him/her the liar, the drunkard, the betrayer. So I think it is perfectly normal and loving to hate the things in your daughter's life that is destroying her and others. She may not be able to see now the things she is doing are destructive; but trust me, HPD brings a lot of destruction and heartache in a person's life.. eventually. It would be hard to see the pain this will all eventually cause your daughter, but it is a painful reality. The truth is, she won't desire help until, she reaches that place where all her relationships crumble, and the sex, drugs and alcohol no longer fill the empty, gaping, black hole in her soul.

The kind of collapse that usually happens to people with HPD (as it did with me), will eventually lead her to seek help. So my advice is to do everything to make it sink into the very marrow of your daughter's bones that you will always love her, that she will always be welcomed home, and that you will always do anything for her greatest good, no matter the cost. If you can do this, your prodigal daughter will come back to you one day, ready and willing to receive your love, support and most of all: help. And that is the best thing you can give her.

[PoorPrincess]

Well said, seeking truth, well said.
Kudos.

[dantheone]

I am sorry to hear that you need to deal with this. It is very painful and up to now, we did not find a professional that could really give a good direction about a treatment for her personality disorders. As Justforher just described, I can see my sister with the same problems. My sister is 37 years old, after becoming a mother, she slowed down that behaviour of showing off, get attention at any cost. However, reading about personality disorder, I found out that she has more than one: she can fit in the Paranoid personality disorder, Antisocial personality disorder, Histrionic personality disorder,Dependent personality disorder. As I am not a professional in psychology, I would like to know if someone can suggest a therapy or professional that works with personality disorder. As she is not aware that she is wrong, we need to take her to treatment. What I understood up to now is that not all professionals in the psychology or psychiatry are aware of personality disorder and its treatment and this unawareness make me very frustrated. She went for a therapy and the therapist already ended the therapy saying that there was not much to do after a year therapy. But my sister still lies, spends money out of control, compromising with things she cannot stand for...anyway, if someone knows how to treat a person with multiple personality disorder, let me know here.

[MountainRunner]

Originally Posted by honeybee777

I have HPD and its a hard thing to cope with....when you finaily realize you do what you do, for love and attention, from anyone, the lying is a coping mechanism to seem more improtant, becasue you feel empty without the approval from someone else, the need for appreatation is the main thing, i started acting out about that age as well, 14 now Im 35, been therapy for years, was misdiagnosed for years, but good luck

Wow...I know this is an old post, but I too have been diagnosed with HPD, and yes...I have been misdiagnosed over the years. In fact, it was I who initially thought I may have a cluster B disorder. At first, I thought I may have NPD but as I delved further it became apparent that I was not (the whole "empathy" thing...My wife tells me often that I care too much for others). Perhaps I was misdiagnosed because I am male and HPD doesn't often occur im men. IIRC it is something like 4% of those diagnosed are men.

[here today]

Welcome to Personality Place. I don't have HPD but was diagnosed with Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified several years ago and thought more than 20 years ago that a PD might explain the continuing dysthymia I was having then. Long story, I've written elsewhere on PC, won't repeat it here.

Are you continuing with a therapist you have seen before or consulting a specialist in personality disorders? There's been some progress in recent years in recognizing personality disorders but good treatment, as you probably know, can sometimes still be hard to find. It's not easy, still what are the options?

I'm pretty sure that I would have qualified for OCPD 20 years ago, if they were diagnosing PD's much then, and most people with that are men. And I've been in a general mental health support group with a man who has had some long standing mental health issues and I'm pretty sure he may have HPD -- but the group doesn't talk about diagnoses, he isn't in therapy, so I don't know for sure.

Wishing you the best.

[MountainRunner]

Originally Posted by here today

Welcome to Personality Place. I don't have HPD but was diagnosed with Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified several years ago and thought more than 20 years ago that a PD might explain the continuing dysthymia I was having then. Long story, I've written elsewhere on PC, won't repeat it here.

Are you continuing with a therapist you have seen before or consulting a specialist in personality disorders? There's been some progress in recent years in recognizing personality disorders but good treatment, as you probably know, can sometimes still be hard to find. It's not easy, still what are the options?

I'm pretty sure that I would have qualified for OCPD 20 years ago, if they were diagnosing PD's much then, and most people with that are men. And I've been in a general mental health support group with a man who has had some long standing mental health issues and I'm pretty sure he may have HPD -- but the group doesn't talk about diagnoses, he isn't in therapy, so I don't know for sure.

Wishing you the best.

Thank you for the reply HT, and yes I am in therapy (if you want to call it that). They have me currently scheduled for a full DBT class beginning next month. And I will be signing up for a program that will have me come in to the unit in the morning, stay all day in classes and leave in the evening to come home.

I was the one that researched it after having an emotional affair with two women and it almost destroyed my marriage. My wife is a wonderful woman and has opted to reconcile with me provided I seek help to which I am fully committed.

After a few one on one sessions with my therapist and some tests, she reaffirmed the diagnosis. I even asked pointedly a few months in "Are you certain I'm a histrionic and not just bipolar?" to which she replied "I can usually spot a bipolar fairly quickly and you're not that."

The reason I asked is because when a woman is paying attention to me, my elation and exuberance is off the chart, but if I'm not receiving external validation, I tend to dig myself a deep, dark whole and wallow in it. thanks again for taking the time to reply. Take care.

[here today]

You’re welcome. In case you’re interested, the NPD forum is a little more active than this. You might find the people there have some similarities with you and vice versa if you want some more support. Just a thought.

[MountainRunner]

Originally Posted by here today

You’re welcome. In case you’re interested, the NPD forum is a little more active than this. You might find the people there have some similarities with you and vice versa if you want some more support. Just a thought.

Muchas gracias...Funny you say that because when I first started delving into what plagues me, I was convinced I was NPD, but my wife, and I remember this VERY distinctly, telling me "I don't think you are. One of the primary traits of an NPD is lack of empathy toward others and you sometimes have WAY too much empathy toward others. That prompted me to get tested. I understand the similarities and even have books on NPD because there isn't much on HPDs and my therapist concurs as well. I'll check it out.

[Atypical_Disaster]

Originally Posted by MountainRunner

Muchas gracias...Funny you say that because when I first started delving into what plagues me, I was convinced I was NPD, but my wife, and I remember this VERY distinctly, telling me "I don't think you are. One of the primary traits of an NPD is lack of empathy toward others and you sometimes have WAY too much empathy toward others. That prompted me to get tested. I understand the similarities and even have books on NPD because there isn't much on HPDs and my therapist concurs as well. I'll check it out.

Yeah come chat with Narcissists like me on the NPD forum.

I've met one histrionic person that lacked empathy but I think she likely had some strong narcissistic traits so it wasn't "just" HPD; but it seems most of the people with HPD I've seen here do have empathy, unlike people with NPD like myself.

[Emily36]

Do I have a mental disorder based on the thoughts and feelings I have been having these past few months? I think that I may have Histrionic Personality Disorder.

Recently I have yearned to have a mental disorder. I know that it sounds bad and I know that the media glorifies mental disorders and that I shouldn't want one but please let me explain. About 3 months ago I was on a trip with a friend and 2 other girls close to us were being annoying and making me very irritated so I said something impolite about them to my friend. She said that I was being rude and that she thought
I might have BPD because of my aggression.

This summer I have been taking a ton of mental tests and hoping for them to come back positive. Most don't or are just moderate and I feel disappointed. The reason I want a mental disorder is because it would make me feel different or unique compared to others around me. I guess it would earn me some attention too although I would never admit it out loud. I have this weird thing I have done since I was young, model myself after fictional characters. I never was into video games very much and read a lot when I was younger which led to me wanting to be cool like the main leads in books.

I wanted to be the strong main character that everyone loved because they always put a smile on despite the pain and they always pushed people away because they didn't want to burden anyone with their feelings and then when they finally do open up everyone seems to love them even more because they were so brave. I always wanted to be able to think like that but I couldn't, I was always way too selfish but I succeeded in making it look like I didn't want to express my emotions or putting on a brave smile despite the pain when really I was exaggerating something to myself that barely affected me. I know that wanting a mental disorder usually means you have one but just of a different type that you don't want.

When I found that out I was happy because either way I most likely had a disorder. I admit I do show symptoms of a few disorders but most of the time they are of my own creation. I do however have a few things I would like to admit that might lead to me having a mental disorder. The first is that I enjoy imagining experiencing intense emotions like jealously, depression, grief, anger, etc when I start to actually feel these things because of real life situations however, all I want is for them to go away. I use these emotionally intense daydreams to help myself fall asleep.

Another thing is the violence I experience in some of these mental scenarios. I will get so frustrated with a person in the scenario and then do something pretty violent to them. A lot of the times I have to press my lips together because I become so angry with an imaginary mental character. A few seconds later I end up talking to myself externally about it. Another thing is my lack of empathy. I feel bad for people that have diseases, are starving, etc but when my friends tell me of small things that bother them I am unempathetic, or when someone is crying I am almost always unempathetic.

I also don't like physical contact, another thing strong book character leads taught me. I want others to be empathetic towards me but I can't do the same for them. Other things are the intrusive thoughts, slight hypochondria, and phone addiction. I am constantly under attack about intrusive thoughts related to my religion that aren't mine at all.

The hypochondria stemmed this year when I started having some intense headaches, I was literally so scared that I had a tumour or cancer that I broke down about it in private about 2 times. The last thing is I guess you could say deporsonalization although I'm not excactly sure.

Occasionally when I look in the mirror I think "Is that really me? Is that what I look like? By the tone of my voice I thought I would look different." I have had moments where I heard myself and thought "So that's how I sound to other people." I felt so weirded out and felt as if I was looking at myself from the outside. Sometimes I am surprised when I look in the mirror because the way I really look differs from the way I imagine myself.

No matter how many times I see my reflection this happens. I can't even tell myself who I am, anytime I ask myself the question all I can say is the physical stuff because I don't understand. Mind you this has only happened 2 or 3 times but I thought it should be discussed, and no I have no alter egos in case you are wondering. I am aware of what DID is. So what do you think?

I could really use some help with this because it's hard to figure out. Thank you and have a nice day!

[Kitey]

I have this issue affecting my relationships, but I'm unsure of what I can do.