What would be the most appropriate way of approaching my mother?

Is a transition something in which I should ever inform my mother about? Currently, I am in my sophomore year at an engineering university, and my mother sponsors the majority of my tuition (after merit scholarships apply). However, she is somewhat of a radical sometimes when it comes down to her political and religious beliefs, and she adamantly rejects the notion of transgenderism. For this reason, I somewhat believe that she may straight out disavow me and potentially cut funding for my degree if I did reveal something as significant as this to her. But at the same time, she does genuinely care for my wellbeing too, so I am not sure whether she is more loyal to me or her ideology. There is additionally the possibility that she would believe that I was merely affected by political ideologies around campus, but I am quite conservative-leaning myself, and I quite detest the political agendas which use transgenderism as its foundation.

I have never actually visited a psychiatrist before, as there is a fair possibility that my mother would find out in the process, and as I am a full-time student, I do not currently possess the funds. In the future, I do intend to move rather far away (potentially even another nation altogether). So is this something in which I should keep confidential for the time being? Should I simply never reveal it at all, or perhaps move away and then reveal it?

In my Asian country, we advise LGBT people to prioritise safety first.

My counsellor has advised me against coming out to my parents, as I risk an argument, violence, or getting thrown out.

Personally I'd put safety first where possible.

I agree with QuietMind. It doesn't sound like you have anything to gain from telling your mom. I'm sorry it's not a different situation for you. Also, the other thing is that although she's your mom, and although she's helping you out with tuition, you don't owe her anything. It's your life and you need to do what you need to do. You're never under obligation to disclose it to anyone for any reason, although there are all kinds of reasons people would disclose their gender based on their needs and preferences. I think that as you get further along on your journey you'll be better equipped to deal with a lot of it. For now, I think it's important to keep yourself safe while you're navigating the early stages of transition.

Hi Krow ,

My mom has passed , plus I can not say what I should to be of any real help , but I can say this:

A mom is a mom , she gives her love to you unconditionally , left or right , to a mom you are her baby and adult of course but meaning you shall always be close as in close to a mom`s love.

I can`t say for sure , but if you came out to your mom or are planing to , I would talk to a therapist first , tell them first !!

Believe me when I say , they will not turn there back on you , or run and hide or melt or vanish , any good therapist will support you and guide you , thats right guide not help , but guide.

If you are trans and want to be happy , you my friend have some thinking to do .

I can type all night , but they would just be words that are meaningless .

!st see a therapist , if you are to go on HRT you most likely ( although not mandated ) will /should get a note from your therapist to take to your doctor.

But WAIT , I know , Mom ,

List:
1st Talk to therapist
2nd Talk to doctor
3rd Talk to therapist about a note
4th Talk to mom , show here the note , she will love you and hug you all night long.

I don`t know how to lie , ask anyone here

Take care , and be happy + yourself , you can not be happy living a lie , I know.

Later

Keyplayer 