[firefighter369]

like I said I didn't know where to post this...

but im a volunteer firefighter I have been one for the past 4 years this march. but lately I have been feeling a lot of guilt. guilt towards the people I couldn't help....I couldn't save....ive been having nightmares of the faces I couldn't save.... its really been bothering me

[MudCrab]

Hello, firefighter369. Have you considered professional help to sort through this?

[firefighter369]

I see a therapist but I never brought it up.when I bring it up to my dad or mom(dads a firefighter too and mom worked with dieing people) they said you will get used to it

[Inedible]

It sounds like you are experiencing PTSD. I suggest seeing if your blood pressure is high enough for you to take propranolol XR, which is a beta-blocker, for high blood pressure. It has a side effect of reducing the trauma from traumatic experiences and even memories. In addition, I would suggest looking into a relaxation technique of some sort. Like The Silva Method. It is much more than just a relaxation technique, but that will be one of the effects you can use most immediately. You might be able to get books or audiobooks from your local library. If they don't have anything, they should be able to get it through inter-library loan.

[firefighter369]

Originally Posted by Inedible

It sounds like you are experiencing PTSD. I suggest seeing if your blood pressure is high enough for you to take propranolol XR, which is a beta-blocker, for high blood pressure. It has a side effect of reducing the trauma from traumatic experiences and even memories. In addition, I would suggest looking into a relaxation technique of some sort. Like The Silva Method. It is much more than just a relaxation technique, but that will be one of the effects you can use most immediately. You might be able to get books or audiobooks from your local library. If they don't have anything, they should be able to get it through inter-library loan.

the way I get away from everything is by shooting guns....I told my friend this and she freaked out saying im gonna grow up to kill people....which I wont I know I wont

[Inedible]

Sounds like a good strategy to me. And I think that a friend should go with you for some target practice instead of wildly speculating. Probably has a previously existing phobia. Maybe it is all the stuff in the news recently.

And it helps to have more than one strategy for relaxation, so you always have options in any situation.

[firefighter369]

Originally Posted by Inedible

Sounds like a good strategy to me. And I think that a friend should go with you for some target practice instead of wildly speculating. Probably has a previously existing phobia. Maybe it is all the stuff in the news recently.

And it helps to have more than one strategy for relaxation, so you always have options in any situation.

she is afraid of guns but I also listen to calming music and stuff like that

[DocClyde]

I definitely think you need to talk to your therapist about if for sure.

[Emotionally Dead]

First of all, even though I am severely ill right now I have to reply to this, thank you so much for your service. You are a hero. And I know that now-a-days it is hard to find people who care or even acknowledge it, but I promise there are people out there who do. I can't imagine the difficult environment you work in, but as someone who is studying to become a police officer, I thank you with all my heart for all you do and want you to know it doesn't go unnotice

As for the issues you are going through now, you received some good advice already. Could be PTSD, which wouldn't be uncommon. Just know that there is only so much you can do, and try, instead of thinking about those you can't save, about those you can and what a difference you make in their lives. I salute you my friend, take care.

[firefighter369]

Originally Posted by Emotionally Dead

First of all, even though I am severely ill right now I have to reply to this, thank you so much for your service. You are a hero. And I know that now-a-days it is hard to find people who care or even acknowledge it, but I promise there are people out there who do. I can't imagine the difficult environment you work in, but as someone who is studying to become a police officer, I thank you with all my heart for all you do and want you to know it doesn't go unnotice

As for the issues you are going through now, you received some good advice already. Could be PTSD, which wouldn't be uncommon. Just know that there is only so much you can do, and try, instead of thinking about those you can't save, about those you can and what a difference you make in their lives. I salute you my friend, take care.

well my friend that just reduced me to tears! in my 4 years of firefighting I have only been thanked 4 times and cursed most of the time....its a tough job but I wouldn't change it for the world..the things ive seen and done...it all formed me into the man I am right now....and good luck on your journey on become a police officer! their a bunch of good guys nd gals I work with them all the time