For 40 years... I was born male, but never really could feel confident about it. Through my inadequcies, I became a personal porno star male for free hire, ran a bunch of dope, was gangster and mafia, moved on to a monster built construction builder (monster big), became a family man to not mine kids, was a crew boss, business owner in remodel. Still I'm plagued by feelings of lacking. I'm also bipolar1 with multiple personalities that haunt my every move. Why do I feel like Im not "man" enuff. Now that I wrote all that, hmmmm.

[CANDC]

Always Changing2, thank you for sharing your story. Sorry you are plagued by feelings of lacking. I think we all have feelings of lack of not being enough or not being who we are.

Maybe we are all given a concept of what a man should be and we just can't put our "square peg" in that neat little "round hole" we think we should be.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

This must be very hard at times. I wonder what you think you would be like if you fulfilled your idea of what a man confident in himself and his masculinity should be.

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

This must be very hard at times. I wonder what you think you would be like if you fulfilled your idea of what a man confident in himself and his masculinity should be.

I'm never satisfied. It can always be better. To the top is how I run.

[Webgoji]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

To the top is how I run.

Psst ... there's nothing there. You can keep striving, keep trying and keep achieving and there will always be better; someone faster, someone smarter and more to get. It sounds to me like you'll always feel lacking because you're trying to chase a ghost; an unachievable goal.

In my opinion, you can climb the highest mountain, make the most money and have all the awards and still be nothing of a man. It's the decision to do what helps others, supports others and to do the right thing regardless of the consequences that makes someone "a man".

At the bottom is where you'll find the strong. Those men at the bottom can bear the weight of others' hopes and dreams and lift them to new heights. And you've got the key there; your family. Dig in and lift them up and you'll see that suddenly you aren't lacking, you're the one that hung the moon.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I'm never satisfied. It can always be better. To the top is how I run.

Or perhaps there are famous people, perhaps form history, who you think represent the man you would like to be?

It's an internal battle. I have a personality disorder for sure. I don't "feel" regardless of what I do. It's all good.